#357 - Only In The Butt

Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Brandon Farmahini and Blaine Gibson as they discuss glasses, "personal" lubricant, cannibal rats and more on this week's RT Podcast! This episode episode originally aired on January 4, 2016.

Link: http://roosterteeth.com/episode/rt-podcast-2016-357

Recorded: 2016-01-05 16:49:29

Runtime: 01:40:52 (6052.66 seconds)

Participants: Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Blaine Gibson, Brandon Farmahini

[
    "gus sorola"
    "gavin free"
    "brandon farmahini"
    "blaine gibson"
    "rooster teeth"
    "comedy"
    "glasses"
    "cannibal rat"
    "new year's eve"
    "lasik"
    "2001 space odyssey"
    "the martian"
    "game of thrones"
    "apple watch"
    "serial"
    "making a murderer"
    "study breaks"
    "winds of winter"
]

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Audio:

Transcript (in progress):

hello everyone and welcome to this week's receive podcast brought to you by audible.com me undies and Squarespace so they are more about them later Twitter your travels went down to Australia before we usually did it's like you're only going there that's just like taking people along for a ride it's nice I like to share that experience with people I guess you still jump it San Francisco I got too much sweets and I like I think I just saw you I did want to say hi it's a fucking say High School thing when people come up and they're like people do come up and say hi to be really apologetic I'm sorry I know you in public I would prefer that you come up and say hi to be like in my own head about it Hamburger Inn where I went with my pizza in no shape to meet up with somebody just to say hi to him that's like it's fun meeting you have to go with you not that I have a Sunday tradition we go to South Congress a go to Home Slice order my pizza Ren and Amy's Ice Cream on with some pizza. We're back home so I still have a fat day double the daily routine that like a 16 year old boy looks really nice new glasses the real so I just change out my contacts because I slept with you the other night so they're super dry so it's wonderful I always feel bad but we're trying to San with glasses cuz obviously is going to make my vision was but Jesus Christ my shit is a challenge I'm going to throw up I can't see what you're doing is -7.5 a number Gavin seim you still looking for a really fucked-up glasses but that's a whole other level that we had hasn't contact all the time and I like develop this weird eye problem wear if I wear contacts can I put contacts in after about 15 minutes the whites of my eyes are turning blood red but there was no light left in my eye it's just I have a red hair dye how many times have you attempted it a couple of times I used to wear them all the time for years and then just like over time it just started happening because the same reason I did is your input but I flashed it Puerto Rico it's because I hated going swimming and not being able to see but to me that's the worst like having to take my glasses off and go swimming so I the worst thing possible I would wear my contacts over my eyes Under salt water and before that is like you could open your eyes underwater anymore one of your classes for your contacts maybe that's why I'm getting like super crazy contact colors and I don't know why is it because your face look different I don't think we really the technology and then 15 years they're like oh yeah they give you ball cancer dislikes lighting lasers I don't know either Gavin Street lasers actually like headlight right sorry folks, I believe you always got stuff that's around in your eye holes in them but they're not like you know Clockwork Orange in your eye quiet Chris is like and he was like how long did he was like those little that the eye drops like it eye drops for like months it's anything too miserable for like at least a month because it is because his Lasik I was OK after like an hour in like to sleep go to sleep and then the next day was perfectly fine he was really messed up for a long time it was like he became addicted to the eye drops and you would find these I drop things like everywhere in the office and in my car and then canceling Gretel normally it's like it's like a liquid like water he got these ones are like milk and it looks like he was like coming out Lasik they were like super nice and cool but when I actually had the procedure and the doctor was there they spent the entire time talking about office gossip like really really can you tell me beforehand that I would go blind as they like suck my cock eyeball stuck to your eye I thought I'd shoot laser and it looks like they used to like you say it like a blade out your eye black suction cup pressure to open up San 2001 Space Odyssey yeah that's what it looks like the ending the ending but it doesn't make any sense it's likely 2001 I love that why do I feel like it starts so I can long time to get to the meat of the movie that shows someone to watch a movie I'll of the first hour and half is real interesting stuff around it right yeah I just want to space them and even once they get to the space but it's like forever destroying the spacecraft and that right I said it basically built most ferris wheel the flight a hamster a hamster wheels probably better it predated monitors and computer displays crazy but they have monitors and computer displays in the movie as like a way to interact with a cand right but maybe that's not the way you and displa for computers at the time the things I really like a woman has velcro shoes ra you could just invent because everyone we should have video wheel would have invented video people inventing cups that tell you to drink more beer really just crap at this point I think I saw about to start so like here comes a whole new wave of like bullshit stuff that break is going to love it the assault was call I should have researched but there was like a new device that scans your food to tell you how much sugar is in it for like diabetic safe for people who need to monitor their sugar intake it's like it's a cool device that you like put on your food or take a picture with you I remember how I said I really look at it and then it just tells you how much sugar ingested by eating that school which seems like that's useful shit yeah if you need it you can keep an eye on that and it'll be out in 20 years LG was talking about how they're showing with 18-inch foldable rollable OLED displa like cool how many years are we going to see that you know before you sell it so what's the next logical big invention ideas Holograms Right double grams what's the hologram video call the flowers you feel like a three-year a presentation to someone if you talk to and everyone you can put it in the movie Star Trek how the fuck surger hey come are you excited you just a hologram you like shit shit stat since is becoming closer to reality event you guys going to be coming on the toilet seat that weighs you and after what you want tell until I can give you shit stat so I thought you space shit was in December of 2017 Bowe shit in like a small. Of time I saw someone you know 16 the end I saw some guy on Reddit post that for all of 2015 he kept notes on every time you took a dump and gavi 400600 $700 search of food is completely used to steal body just has to go all the way through and then be like new what what what what any given moment is there what is 100% useful to your body let you eat it and nothing comes out audibl that there's no waste created from something that's that's the future people can invent pills that fully will think about it what kind of lightbulb Martia new movie or read the book you talked about how you could take all the vital thing he's got all the vitamins he needs that eating food just becomes about taking in calories to maintain his body right it's a choice that's if they need pills so you don't have any pills like you just don't have to eat I just take a pill and I'm fine it's like the idea of going and getting food and chewing it and I pretty much just see it so I didn't do anything this is an intervention for you you don't leave the office that concerns me because you got to get out of your and it scares me was that with food shit you would like to drink lunch everyday Health break if you need that 30 minutes say those terrible taste crap I just put bananas in it I'm trying to get through this as quick as I can I'm getting off of this sucks I think there's a lot of sugar in it for one but it's also yeah it's like early onset feels like I am on a shoot Day craft Services a shirt serving shit and I just need to get them yelling me and I'll take this for sure but if it's like lunch at the office since like August but it is my least favorite thing about going to shoot stucco ultimate first-world problem here by the way all of the junk food on a set and it was like oh I'm not on camera right now I'm going to see how much of this I can eat anything I cook fre shoot that I love like correct it sometimes takes like 4 months I've finished like two sleeves of Ritz crackers is like so I thought I was making a large mocha Frappuccino from study true because I think about that Lasik the internet will come up with frappuccino in Milaca Minnesota shit I like to be a bad influence but and 20 calories San like a bitch counting calories feel like that's all that's like photos of your face always have this recurring always have this recurring nightmare maybe like twice a year where in my dream I'm like eating something or talking to someone and I feel like a piece of a tooth chipped off and I'm like oh recipe whatever like slowly all of my teeth start to shatter and and I can feel it in my mouth and I'm embarrassed and trying to hide it and this last time I had a dream I could feel like the nerve endings like a message like broken teet and like the nerves and blood and speak gu but it does look like it's just pink spaghetti yeah is that episode where they hold out pulled out like Ren toot or whatever and then like it's bloody game is left in its place and it's like one of the most excruciating things to watch and a cartoon ever Ren said you had some weird dreams glad you have everything is like stress related I always have recurring dream with most of his massive small the small stuff is just like that its life and then just like one thing like a great deal with it because it's like he's trying to open it and left it looks like this and like that Lasik normally tiny but next to like really small massive stuff and it and it's like making me like to sit down with the flu what kind of the point really trip to the dream is that you are shrinking post office dick the room what's the strangest thing that's like cotton pig or you've got and small next to an old man what you have a sex dream and then you suddenly vertig meundie don't sleep enough tonight how much help so when you sleep how how long do you sleep in a typical night like 6 hours using space on the left are you Blaine I can go off for 4 days I can get like 6 and I'll be functional feel like I had some point I need to catch up with the weekend or during the week at like 7 then I'm down by 1 camera apps like attracted you to the court Volusia cool I was actually asking I really Square Register glasses but my phone didn't come with down for whatever but like my prescription is so bad that it's at some point the frames I can't be bigger than a certain size because it goes out like it bubbles out so much nicer we need NASA to go to Mars to invented technology with can't physically make these glasses they are your prescriptions so bad and I the same time as you I think so I think eventually I might get Lasik and then who knows I might you know continue wearing glasses after I get Lasik and act like that's another reason I don't get Lasik with glasses my vision corrected better than 20/20 so it's like why would I want it that the 2020 is better than 20/20 what was maximum what's the best Vision ever 21 like 2015 or something set a reminder with the podcast is brought to you by audible.com thanks to audible.com for supporting us audibl.com 185 cross all types of literature including fiction non-fiction and periodicals audio books are great to listen to when you're driving stuck in traffic at the gym shopping at cetera audibl has free apps you can download listen to on your iPhone Android Windows Phone Kindle Fire + iPod over 500 MP3 players but like a string or rental service with audibl you own your blocks for our audience members audibl offering a free audiobook give you a chance to try out their service when are you booking may consider is when I Game of Thrones we should talk about that what the new Game of Thrones book and remind me to download the free or no the one of your choice go to audible.com slash Rooster Teeth that's audible.com slash Rooster Teeth so I guess I was out Saturday George RR Martin announced that the he missed his deadline for the game with the next book in Game of Thrones in the Game of Thrones series A Song of Ice and Fire and people surprisingly positive and another show is now going to go past the book the book will come out before the Winds of Winter review right that is going to happen in the first episode like you seen the poster of the new season Game of Thrones with somebody or not but they have to touch on it somehow and it's not even if the new season of the TV show with spoiler books and he said yes and now and I honestly at this point so much I almost look at them as two different eye The Walking Dead yeah they're still I think it so it's not as bad as Walking Dead there's still a lot more Book Center in the book related in the TV show but I mean there's some things are just radically different characters that don't exist so I don't never read the book so I am all caught up on the show Longmire actually got to like wanted actually like showed Game of Thrones so I like to watch like the entire season on the way there but completely coming back on this season the most recent season of the TV show caught up to and passed the books a little bit in some areas and then now it's just like that's it I mean everything at this point the promo image of him I guess new the fuck up is a bit he's like 6 feet tall there's obviously the fate of a certain character is kind of ambiguous at the moment they're using the shit out of that in a promotional images in the same day John Schnatter rap for a long time wait what they have done you fucking a New Year's Blain what movies the thought process what is the person that I talk to you about it they said that for certain hey you know it's not going to I'm not even enjoy sitting there watching it like every time I'm really rather announces I've a legit concern give me worried that when you die cand you become a ghost that cotton move from where you died like you just have to like you as a ghost exactly where your body can I see it but you the stuff that I was worrying about what if I mean like an add to Sauce that two planes crash me that and I'm just stuck at 5000 feet with light a bunch of people I don't like is it going to be cold or or you could be Elvis in your hunting of sugar the stool in the toilet when he died do you remove that that I'm sure it's on their tour home now and it won't be the coolest place to be is it ghost the coolest place to be as a ghost really underwater be the worst film porno Underwood Define to light a venue like he died during porn shoot and you just want the police forever you're watching porn with your eyes closed what is he died in the movie theater but you were facing the wrong way you're facing away from the screen so you know what is your ideal afterlife what if you when you die what do you want to happen to you Gavin frees conscience Ridin I'd like to just do it again just be inside my head again okay you and want to make love to another person's body or something and just kind of like you forgot so much of your life yeah that'd be cool just to say it again I don't control you I just want you to be stuck in life from like 2000 years ago to 2001 future and I could DVR around and I could freak out and look at stuff so your inhaler Bowe Apple JFK like what happened with Alex Ren and I'll just still couldn't figure it out we're not be really frustrating keyframes and skipped shit I thought that seemed like a way like for instance if I wanted to see what this would look like in 10 billion years I can see it yeah yeah I would like the Earth or the Sun consumes the Earth and you can watch yourself like buying people from different angles and stuff like being on a porn set Blaine dream come true I like this version of heaven but I feel like watching renders yeah you don't know me like this is how much you have such a limited window of life and live your life ra differently it would be like to be living anywhere I'm going to hate watching this late this sucks I'm good just tell me feel like sometimes to be like over like your shoulder into where you think you're going to be looking and like make contact with yourself like liquid stop and I'll just like really contemplate stupid decision every memory of your life how long will it take LASIK if you have to okay I said like the age of 11 on everything before that but if I if I said tell me everything that you did since when you turn 22 right now how long would you be talking for like an hour but you went away but I do like to talk a lot try to have a good feel that you forget 95% of the details of your entire life in what stage of your earliest memory headache month like to really okay thanks so much for 5 remember to also look something up over some really early stuff I was scared of the vacuum cleaner is it true that the send you just like start to forget it I'm not crazy if I find that the more you tell a story the more that story like oversized original memory to the point why you've left details out the store and then he forgot them my first traffic ticket I can like remember how it kind of actually happen then how I told it and then now they're like kind of bleeding a little bit but I guess me saying that makes me really feel like remembering it like it might not be remember thinking something happened doesn't make sense yet he has nothing it's all gone the memory yeah I mean I think if you ask me like aged 10 to 20 available here seventh and what did you do 395 what did you do what we've done since you 10:29 what's renters who didn't go out to lunch know that inside no windows my days off or went somewhere I went somewhere like that wasn't work related to Mexico for a few days to the murdere you like 8 months ago there's a blockbuster there it was cool like seeing family like vacation probably when we went to Disney World like 2 years ago I was a part of your last vacation the Blaine study call Lady the word transition and the headlights love is it San Francisco to visit a lady friend how'd you guys meet Alpha Chi Gus girls yeah but I'm keeping his or her identity protection we we are so it is several conventions I think like 4 or 5 conventions together and we've been within like a 10-foot distance of one another and never met and then how do you know your worth it with this is because we retrace our steps in the way I was shit because she's in a 10-day year she would be like yet no maybe yes there is I don't want to give away this first I want to be able to tell the story cuz I don't maybe I don't know are you thinking of not easily shit they know you heard it here first but now so we're new here and I talk to that person we like we like we've been to several things together and never want to answer and the only reason I found out was that she liked her hit him or her she contacted me via social network or whatever they like commented on something and then it like who's this person the night we were talking and then pressure now because people know about 6 give it about 5 or 6 days not as call Tom I got to visit call is that hat so a couple of trips ago when I went to San Fran oh this is an old hotel that opened right around the time that the temperature at that big earthquake at the turn of the century and they have an extra think they are we're on the roof of the hotel they have a garden with a bunch of flowers and beehives and then they use the honey from the beehives for like all of the different honey based dishes that they serve in the rest of theirs while I was with this he or she doesn't say who your day already call the San Francisco and while prohibition was a thing the current president of the time I can't realize this makes the story what school was there and then it died and I bought but they had a ton of those is still in there watching they had a tunnel maybe we can the president of the United States to be found in a speakeasy prohibition so they transported in his or her body his body to process through a tunnel and then put it up in the air and then it came out like 20 years later that that was given this week easy history you that Brandon sent me this video earlier today that I guess this is bouncer wore a GoPro outside of a bar on New Year's Eve just to show I like all the shit just to put up with items Year's Eve 2014 and it's just like I cannot imagine being about after watching the video it was a candidate shit I thought it was a he was a nice guy can have the same conversations over and over and over it's so frustrating and nothing more of noxious and talking to somebody who's really really drunk When You're Sober story straight and he's like Super Silver and Super ComEd tune-ups a child when I was you can come in you got kicked out no you don't you they're not letting you back in how to snow again today I'm not trying not yet so I looked it up it said I was the old shit is going to come charms down yeah it seems like it might be like chest level and still like head a little further so most people yet it was at the bar I was at the other day there was a of a guy there who was a bouncer at another bar like in in Dallas and he's a pretty big pretty big dude he apparently was like having words with these girls that were next to us and so they leave and I think the girl's friend or maybe boyfriend comes back into our area to let you know confront this guy but he obviously hadn't and I just imagine like walking in that room be like on the show this guy was and then seeing him be there soon as possible I want to the Texas A&M College in the first round series the largest man I've ever seen in my life I mean I just I felt like a ten-year-old next to an adult man I was walking through check my Dean is okay that's it and I start walking and he's like he he just stuck his hand in everything you just stuck out his hand it was like getting hit by a log he's like a wristband on for me the most is just a piece of string to it was like normally I feel like normally the sky was just like I'd be fucked like every every day break your face and you can't handle it yeah shouldn't be picking fights with you but you know what the glasses fall off there's no you can't see anything and when I was a kid making a like 8 or 9 or something a smooth talker daycare a daycare was pretty rough time and I told the story I just something in the back of the head once because he was late so can one of my friends I just like his head and run as we always making promises that will do stuff together out of the podcast and we never feel them we should like getting light together you may like it a bar and like to get some people together yeah I get the point immediately like a something absolutely I'm going to get caught in this and maybe like get blinded or something really serious is it worth it or not what time is it in about 20 people just trying to punch each other was like people just doing my front roll into the holidays and it was just blood all over the ceiling and stuff are just drunk people fighting just chaps English chaps chaps what time I went to of it still appears that bar on 6th Street the library I walked into the library once and Year's I was probably 15 years or something and I wasn't going to walk into the bar and your left and there's like a staircase to go up and I walked up to the staircase and I like kind of slipped a little and like someone with something to hide cool I guess there's no need to when you win something to say either no or I was too drunk to remember a terrible way to die slipping on someone else's sleeping basically all someone else's life pendant is at the bar that has the guys bathroom that has like the one we met the aquarium close and I thought that was one of the bars got shut down when the drug right thing the temperature that was aquarium or whatever it is now I don't know I'm an old man I don't go down to 6111 knew where I was going to say we're watching that that thing my internship before I work for Rooster Teeth was with the magazine company that distribute on campus and they do want a couple college campuses study break study break web content that's the earliest Friday is fucking magazine I hated it because I'm just pretty sick shit that didn't believe in but one of the things that I was 6384 made a show called drunk trivia and I would go down and I would shoot people answering just pretty easy trivia questions but they're just fucking blessed so I did just like find frat guys and sorority girls and I would go down there every weekend I started getting recognized like the study break sky a total asshole and apparently got like around 4 the Frat houses for rent has to be on the study guide yeah whatever frat brothers was in your first videos the guy in the white polo look like I would love to bro but where is the worst no I mean like an interview tipsy when I went down there to and yeah it was fun we didn't know we were together you remember it's been a long time now Bowe a couple years ago we filmed those we we end up scrapping it was filmed that like polished podcast intro we're going to translate yet but Bernie killed it thanks pretty and she was like it was like 200 people would like it come home before an event already have answered you did it true or not yeah he was shown at Houston crack but I remember it so what was everyone else in the truck when we did with them she was up there she was listening to guy play piano shit looking a nice like Jazzy dress or whatever number you to think I like $100 cuz I remember you putting money in the tip jar as a prop and then he was like aw thanks and he thought it was like it yeah you put a lot of money in there you will alternate takes one for with like normal then like classy like he was Ghost with you like me to standing downtown and then the other ones that came of it up so like I was going to have a good intro in a badass throne and is going to cycle and he never becomes a regular on the podcast at least a potential for him to rap in the parking lot next to the building it is rough for people taking craps on the back door to our office fresh turd on the handle of the door cuz it was it was shut up food place and then go upstairs and see the fine if you do not enter private and you like I'm going to break that door and regrets that's like the most people live on Guadalupe they would use to break into a co-op he has Blain basement stairwell or whatever and they just took like it was several of them shit so like a lot of shit from the ground over there just one kid fucking lazy and I made him clean it and he threatens lawsuit against me for like making him clean all the homeless people shit time it's more gas Seria let me let me with this other thing double check everything and make some money stop thinking about what do I listen to the podcast is also brought to you by and me undies what the secret to New Year's resolutions make the first step really is he like the first thing you do everyday put on underwear this year out with the old in with the new step into a fresh new pair of my undies the world's most 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what your pants I need music is like those of the the underwear they want to see like you want someone to see you in those underwear it's like the night San where the date underwear when you're going out and you might be seeing him later you where you are doesn't know where you're going all the way I need to spend the night just take care of yourself because it's like it's like I'm breaking out the black and white vertical stripes to make it look longer it's like a little polka dots and show me where Plainview own soap boxes no it's not it's not of me and Brando not sure who it is because it's not our sponsor the rat in the New York subway that's going around what is it like there was there was that pizza right everyone was like obsessed about more like the rat carrying Pizza yeah but now they're calling this one cause we're at now I thought it was called cannibal rat what are you doing God I hope it's just just to sleep here it was like a war movie Toot It and Boot It taking this probably dead rat and I carried it down the stairs it's really bizarre mean you seen the video of the raccoon with the pink thing I don't have any candy for candy call sorry everything the same he's holding it with his mouth and it dissolves immediately raccoon has has the cotton candy rooster so weird to me like they're super smart and I got like hands and I can do stuff and they have thoughts yeah I like to plan stuff do they have more good problem solvers let me know how to get in your trash can feel like they can hurt you or give you a disease like I open my one more night open the door and I left the trash out overnight and then I opened it in the raccoon there in the trash and it started looking at me and I screamed and ran back in the apartment and slammed the door is it diseases the man Brandon do you want me to go trashcan did you see the really stupid thing the City of Austin did this year so they sent every I think every year they send out a mailer with all of the recycling pickup days for the year so that you know when your area is going to have the recycle pick up his kids every other week to pick up the recycling so they said they mailed out the calendars everybody lost in this year 2016 a leap year every 28 the counter is absolutely worthless scum everything 315 / 14 a wasted for a Prada it would recycle things they want to make sure that they're saving her so they print all these things inform people to save and if you just wasted so much time and there is something where there's actually like the thousandth day isn't it the thousandth Year's and I'll leave here at the a a really it's like that 10001 eventually after Thousand Years oatmeal when is something in the year 2000 that should have been deleted The Sims of thousand rule with leap years that makes it so that all the time maybe there's a specific year like 57 or something that that's the Year's thousand rule what are you guys going to Jack's house house that is fun love you OK leap years occur in Year's or getting repairs occur in Year's exactly divisible for except the years ending in double zero that are leap years only three divisible by 400 so 2001 2001 400 right the 2100 2100 and 1900 or not leap years so we missed it we never going to let you guys know 2121 that's totally doable I have to be 1:22 I'm going to a local 2100 and old call back will be a hundred and ten dead on a porn set ESO so when did it happen that everyone in Austin became an asshole about fireworks well then that's it I don't do it I think I was here I was kept awake listening firework still like 5 in the morning about enforcement firework Christmas or Christmas Eve I fucking screaming and lighting fireworks the 5 in the morning I think it's like done right live fireworks I think it just gets like the more you try to restrict people the more they're just going to do it it sucks cuz like it drives a dog crazy dog kills your dog to sleep on the couch with him like right next to me said shut the fuck up the drug gave him yeah he's got my dog is a fucking prescription for Valium there I said it so what's that mean it's like you pay a company like you know monthly and then whenever your dog gets sick or something like it was like it was your guess was kinda Rain by Prince whose Nigeria Brandon I took the dog back and I even know any that it was not and ate a bunch of duck is duck bad for dogs Patty was a fatty meat restaurants not like a red onion like they had to do X-rays and x-rays Gatsby I have been built up so it was like enjoy the next 2 days so yeah it's like you going this is like thing of test after test after test a little better 201 can you get live x-ray video full speed and see if I can feel my stomach slash like fun glad I like bouncing around I don't know what I was going to the airport once I put my phone upside down to feel like going to the x-ra thing as a call making cool travel video like every other assholes so creative and then I think the guy thought he took my phone and put it on idea Fit Gym Apple watch camera so he knows because we were all the way out outside its at 5 and I'll still like you up so don't so don't I correct my watch I'm super depressed the corners like crack and it doesn't work like the precious thing and I was like I guess I could take it in but I was like I'm so late send it in as we were $10 Casio watches they feel like and Cooling I like the way I feel about you I've been traveling a lot and it's and I will bring the charger I would jump on board you know when it becomes like an independent until then also told the guy from season expensive fucking watch what is RA LG G3 getting better faster and probably time you can like you know the future talking your wife the Hologram you can find something the last place I worked at before we actually had the option to pay into and buy pet insurance so I guess yeah that's the thing that company is no longer around your hips game where you are paid and then slowly it would go down some surger triangle like shit it should be like well what if my dog eats this what if my dog likes you through a box of condoms or eats a bunch of the loop I've heard some pretty weird shit though so I think I'll be okay if it's like well it depends what flavor was the loop I'm telling you poison control what is lube Ren and let's go let's go the and I'll translate for you to Brandon Gus & Paul's Ridin white wine I'm cruising over here like you know like you know stronger faster than and then for the guys like you laugh a little bit. It's like a thing are you going to translate for me to and Blaine Gavin well yeah I'd like help you last longer this is less like what you like and it's like goddammit Ross with toot a dew produces his own Lube it's true I have to go off to look at the cameras or something good for you yeah I don't drink a little slime coming out the end of it just what you do for love I wonder if it's what about you what about me a lot or little pretty Fairmont a partner to reproduce like the regular it's like I was a milk carton -2/62 milk carton I mean you know you don't need it so you never said you've never used no because I know you said well I'll explain why only in the butt he has ever double after a while they're like he's been gone for a while they lose they lose that what you're right I'm still trying to his mom get around that are you trying to do get around that I wasn't freaking detail graphic we have a gun I was only going to be here Blain you had a bad run this project will not actually know so with Josh I don't get you for Christmas then next year you take any to do this huh the house party not mean to bring it so I'm going to New York typically people like go out and get really fucked up and visit friends and stuff I hate all of that I don't want to see anybody I just wanted to stay home and just get drunk at home but for the first time ever in my life I New Year's Eve I got vertig oh yeah it's like I was fine I ate dinner and I like ra New Year's Eve the side of my couch like I said I want a beer I was like I feel really dizzy so I had to spend all of New Year's Eve like this just like with my head back fights at 4 to grab my beer at like the whole room felt like it was spinning when I went to go walk my dogs at night like this bending over to put my shoes on I was like wow I feel like I'm going to follow them to get it done 6 weeks before I went to the doctor cuz my hand hurt and they found a broken bone Moonlight torrent Ren pop it and then I just yawned and my ear popped it was cracked and all the sudden my cheek hit the floor like it like disrupted my ear fluid or something I just went completely dead and it felt like I didn't have anybody I can answer your phone it's just like when did I fall crazy just like you just don't know which way up you up then so you just come over because balance is such a subconscious thing that when you lose that ability this is no you don't you aren't trained to deal with it is that we can walk on two legs like nothing's wrong with me why the fuck cand outside of my God it's so weird when he gets fucked up like that I understand it I wish you could turn it on and off with the switch on your bouncing off or just like any other people's on and off the entire room is what the people of of London surger the trash you do that I'm at the point now where hungover before I get drunk yeah so I just don't think I've ever gotten so drunk lost like my physical like ability to like continue to walk or anything like that Jackson Walker I don't like people thinking I'm sober when I'm drunk all the time I look perfectly normal and I'll talk normal is kind of scary I don't like that about me I want people to know I live normal dumbest things it's like you know you hear about people who you know you are driving drunk and it's like they're so drunk that they get on the highway and drive the wrong way but hear about that it seems like three or four times a year and it happens if I picked up are you that you get in the car and then you don't know what you like you get you go on 35 going the wrong fucking way if you have to go down to turn 100 degrees back and I swear it seems like every one of those times the driver always lives now it's everyone else I knew someone once who did that she got absolutely one kid drove the wrong way down the motorway and probably a ton of people calling the police saying they'd seen the call going the wrong way so the police came down the right way and light flashing the light and then I talked to try and get it to stop and she just went straight to the police and then she went to prison have you ever been behind a drunk driver like someone was obviously drunk but I'm pretty sure I'm on 75 in Dallas and is leaving a girl's home it was like 3 a.m. and I'm driving along and see this like a red Ford Explorer orange Ford Explorer that's the kind of move in with a guy sores inside inner just like he scraped against the side wall for like a while Sparks are like flying and he straightened up and I think he realized what he was doing and he noticed I was behind him and he just fucking bolted for it you got to get off this is like you're not staying there was a guy that was just going slowly but just casually like swerving left and right and eventually he swerved into a stop sign and just annihilated the stop sign and kept going and then me and like another driver or just following in turn for turn and eventually he just went to a neighborhood stop the car turned it off and then we got out to go check on him and he was just passed out asleep passing out sitting in his car so the old house I used to have it I moved out of had a stop sign in the front yard looks like we're probably just keep him and one day I got home from work and stop playing with your life crunched over like someone had hit it and just like totally flat and it was like oh that's weird I guess I need to tell someone about that so I called 311 I was like yeah there's a stop sign in my front yard and it looks like someone hit it is just like the one when you see someone hit it like it's just flat in my front yard you put in a request and will have someone fix it within two hours it was it was a city work crew at night came out and like took the thing out of the ground replace and put a new stop sign in a bunch of felons in the back of it that people safety is at stake so slow like residential street was and did I tell you my amazing new YouTube channel and this stuff and I get Phantom and I'm going to put as a dashcam and move to Russia and drive around and is feeling the most nollie accidents but and Slimmer making a great idea we're going to call it Russia Slovakia stat Martia Gus it was a period of like 2 months of giving you go to the Austin subreddit where like every other day there be a posting of a car that drove through the window of the business and it became like a running joke is it just happened like so often like over and over and over like that to me is like one of the biggest fears cuz I hear that that guy like that is going to get everywhere you got to stand there is like business owners police come in and you're sitting there with your car inside of a freaking Chili's or something you really don't expect to get hit by a call when you're set down in the office Twilight with my trousers have you my mom or my phone if she knew about it she break it and say walk it off shit yeah I think a woman who ran me over it like she got stuck on the accelerator because it dick always making that like in Reverse there's only one of us can we get up to high speed in Reverse just like and it was like fully doing that and I didn't even bother looking I just assumed she had to control shit to me like 20 or something slight like she was like I was a hatchback wasn't like a flat back stat hit my head I just like went by that I didn't hit my head on anything I just hit with my side like that's fine I got backed into her like a ran into me at a stoplight and New Orleans during Mardi Gras he was probably drunk and we like follow that car for like a really long time and we're calling the cops I had something called because I was driving behind them even though they just told us to let him go but yeah let's try that one funny street lights low but and blood whenever you crazy are you crazy 1015 years ago he was an old Ford Bronco cuz that's like the truck that use when they were going like a deer lease and there was like this really big incline and the truck broke down and he had to go under the truck to fix it but I guess the parking break a bat or something and the Broncos went back and like rolled on top of him and I just wonder if there's a split-second where you're like how did I get here in life to and I have like a giant look like on top of my chest right now when are with her in high school so I have a younger sister and her best friend's mother accidentally ran over herself for the minivan only got one so she had gotten home and her driveway was like on an incline so she had put it in park with and get out and run and get something for her house and get back in the car but it didn't go full the park so as you open the door and got out she stuck her left leg out and it was her right leg came off the break the minivan started rolling backwards as she was knocked off her balance and then it rolled backwards and I remember she still live right by the high school where I grew up and I was walking home from high school is like a weird there's an ambulance at my sister's best friend's house looks like the van down the street that's weird I was watching you for a while was back when ghost riding was like I said it's basically you drive your car I think you put it in cruise control and then you hop out and you didn't invite her 4 people would be doing that car which is completely getting my notes on July / 1st with fall out of ghost ride feels right what the fuck is this Patrick what are you doing man put asunder I hope the cards flies out of house a few times got different angles and everything, and someone will get hurt sorry audio Sofia actresses true story I was like only a few years old and my Dad we are going somewhere and you know you got in the car turned it on and realize you forgot something so he goes back inside and this was a car where the gear shift was on the steering wheel and apparently he didn't hold down the gas or sorry the break and Order shit is so I like hit the gear shift and the car just started driving and it was facing this really long drive because my grandma was on a farm and the car just started moving and then he came out and just watched it like drive away and like it's slowly just started to fear because no one was steering it over and over and over until it shit dick and then like all the neighbors came like Brandon San and now well I the shit out of me I am okay good we're glad to hear that you are good Pepin when he was right new reminder Wednesday September the podcast is also brought to you by Squarespace thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of The Rooster Teeth podcast start building your website today at squarespace.com / Rooster Teeth you enter offer code rooster teeth at checkout you get 10% off with Squarespace you can build sites that look freshly design regardless of skill level no coding required the offer intuitive and easy-to-use tools to help you along the way and you get a free domain name if you sign up for a year start your free trial today at squarespace.com / Rooster Teeth we decide to sign up for Squarespace to make sure you saw her could Rooster Teeth get 10% of your first purchase Squarespace build it beautiful I really don't know what else to say about them I mean that's really the easiest possible way to make a website when I sold my old house one day and I was like I'm just going to register a domain with information about my website was like we can go sign up for Squarespace and I just liked the photo in the web browser and make it look cool take a couple of minutes as a professional if you're trying to get a job just make a website with your name and then click a few things and all the sudden now you have this like in of Throne awesome yeah definitely check it out you should have a website to the story that I thought was really interesting it was about an Iranian blogger who got sentenced to prison in 2008 because he had to have this block that was very against the Iranian government do that Year's 2001 and 2015 like over the loudspeaker it was like his name is he said he came out and now looking at the internet the way to exist now with social media he feels like everything is just watered-down and pointless with like Twitter and Facebook he said he feels like it's almost a conspiracy courses like there's so much noise there's no like Central way to create your own message and yeah unless all of those voices are saying the same thing like we saw in Egypt but otherwise there's never like a singular strong point yet and make sure he was like kind of decrying the death of the personal website the personal blog and the rise of the social media platform Twitter like to celebrate it but you can only post 144 characters a 440 is literally like don't expand just make a statement you don't have to like me to prove it or warranted say whatever and you know there are no more you know blog posts that you don't know more people every day people have people are posting on Facebook long enough to put ww.w and a bunch of words connected with hyphens in and.com at the end could I beat the 140 character thing because they didn't making a URL shortener on it and I think it was 15 years ago he went to prison because he was a dance teacher he just danced in a very like you know provocative he wasn't a stripper like a very liberal a provocative way new episode of Vice I forget who was the most recent season of the one before where they talked about how in Iran homosexuality is illegal but gender reassignment it's okay really and and it is funded by state-sponsored medical care so that if you feel the need for gender reassignment surgery the state will pay for your reassignment surgery so strange it's it's it's it's it's really weird how they deal with the upcoming social issues and and the change Hey listen to I have not I'm saving it for my flight. Australia is right now so they just started we started season 2 which deals with the Bowe Bergdahl which is a really interesting I'm really interested in that store it's the guy who disappeared I guess and in Afghanistan in 2002 with his post and was captured by the Taliban in Hell prisoner for several years before his release was negotiated and the speculation that he went a wall and abandon his post as opposed to just being kidnapped from the post and I think this season exports that yeah it's actually really interesting I like him too much away but it's actually like one episode you are completely following this group and you're like yeah I like that guy was fucking wrong in the next episode they completely flip it in like holy shit I feel so bad for that guy so it seems really cool and awesome stories and stuff but serial season 1 the way that it ended it didn't have like of like a gratifying ending so like did you did you watch Seria Synergy read or listen to serial season 1 with I can't remember his name is something that wasn't cool I have watched have you watched making a murderer LASIK in Washington Park making season documentary that's on Netflix a chance it's about an hour long and it's about a guy who was acquitted of rape in 1985 and then spent 18 years in prison before they realize before DNA technology to prove that he did not approve his release from prison after he was released he then turned around and saw the lawsuits will put him in prison and then he got accused of a murder put back in prison and the people he was doing or in charge of the investigation of his murder has found incriminating evidence after his house was searched like so many times and all the sudden this County like detectives went in and they were like hey hey guys I found this slick piece of evidence on the ground anybody didn't I see this before shit it's on now so it's at Empire documentary it's really long but there's still the present all of the evidence if you listen to everybody missing the point is there's all these um you know like sign this petition to release these guys from prison and I don't know what to say really if you watch that and you say these people are definitely guilty but you do say this is fucked up is not how Justice should work this is not like him making a managed people should not have been two people investigating this potential crime even though like the way that the prosecution was representing and spending certain evidence or you know like I think one of the big things you see if they put on this big dramatic show about what evidence they found so basically to the public and a lot of that stuff didn't get in the trial but every girl that comes in it knows about it already so the idea of you can San possible to have a fear of fair trial to watch that you just like this is not right this is not how it should be but I don't know who did it reach her and Chris were having lunch today talking about murder so if we weren't with Brandon cause Brandon wants like human beings you invite me so I did so we're talking about how this is like a new fad kind of like you know these cold cases you know like an odds-on everything is Seria land in Jenks and intelligence is so good there should be some concern because I feel like people like catching on this is like the filmmakers are going to be like it looks like more cases and they might not necessarily be the right and if it's like a better story than they like to lead the investigation or whatever like one way so it's such a kind of weird to think about people who were accused of at least Major Crimes like they're going to just start recording everything like they're going to have their family record what's going on with iPhones cuz I mean if you guys have seen all of the news like others over a hundred thousand I think signatures on a general petition to release the guy from the documentary for making a murderer but I feel like everybody just going to do it like maybe if I wanna go or what I'm going through you know it'll it'll help me down the line listening to cereal has made me think like I'll never commit a murder but there's a small chance huh ;-) but there's a small chance that like you know I could be praying for her I'm not going to commit murder do that I'll do it I didn't do it so I could frame you for murder and that I feel like that now I have to because I feel like I need to like make Alibis or like like make sure that my that sounds so delicious really old times and you can use this app to prove some crap but you wouldn't understand your phone always an alibi like tracking I didn't know that you are you going to pull my phone record what is the prosecution knows you it's not like there's like recent location so you can look up your your most common place that you build things salads every so often keeps a little over talk to her to incriminate yourself and your future travel illegal activity I feel like you have to be the kind of person who flip the switch in the head and takes yeah I'm going to break the law I'm going to do illegal stuff now but I'm never ever going to break the law in my entire life and I know that for fact from now and then cut to me in jail some point but I'm pretty sure I never have to be a criminal Criminal I think I can the camera today with the people who made of the people I just can't relate to anyone but him no idiot I mean people have genuinely chemical differences in their brains and some people are just more likely to be aggressive or more likely to get his anger in someone I don't know I'm saying like it's it's like you you just assume it's your decision making but it might not necessarily be it like somebody who's in your exact same situation maybe was grown grew up the same way but their brain works a little bit differently might punch somebody like you talked about or you're here about the crimes of passion like something happen to someone so angry they kill someone hurt someone and it makes me think about like how sometimes you see there certain people who when they get angry the like punch something I don't break something like that I don't understand because in my mind I'm like well if you're so angry you break them up then you have to clean it was like you're breaking your own thing you're wasting your money that you're taking your time to clean it the same kind of person would do that like elevator the elevator thing if I can go out and punch someone and said of like something people want the cops or something like that you know as soon as things are going kind of crazy a lot of times it's just a lot of times when you find somebody who's guilty of assault or can make it for a soul they have previous records of assault they're just more inclined for whatever reason to be angry and aggressive like it wasn't it the shooter in Austin back in the sixties he got on top of the University of Texas Tower I think he had said in his letter like look look at my break because I don't understand why I have to let you know do this but there's something telling me I do and I think they found some kind of growth on her a little humor here that have been part of his brain and that could affect his level of aggression so I think it's just like sometimes it's tough It's out of your control. Two penises ghost has always won his brothers I think I feel like we should have that image of like that stick drawing with the the guy holding the cup of coffee with his foot or leg the brother know that he knows you can't like you either how do I say that you really are two distinct and just have the dick and nothing else will send you a text like that win but stuck in and didn't really fall but it all came out but why would someone just have to keep the second penis my dad said like which one was between was like one was better than the other is this what are you doing a little while we're on the subject of like weird stuff here we're talking about Call of the Void on the podcast I don't think so doesn't sound familiar okay so basically and I think there's a name for it in French I can't Ren was called was called like that translate into English call the voi so say you know you're on a dock or something like that and then you see a person fishing and then there's this little voice inside your head that says push that person of the dog that's the call of the Void every time and every now and then you have these look a little weird like you know I could stand up in the middle of this meeting and start cussing out Gus in front of everybody like you did you guys ever experienced that the kids I really think those thoughts and it was a kid in church cuz it's like everything you could possibly say is Amplified by a million yeah those are you talking about like having a meeting or a conference or something and my old job I hated that place and it was a terrible company and I wanted to get some fish so sometimes when with their conference call to be like a big meeting and we all be on the phone I would just get up and lay down on the table and take a nap making a room full of people on a conference call right anymore and I would just lay down on the table your brain is like that's crazy I never got a severance would you just keep promoting you actually would you be into a girl who had two vaginas with that weird you out too much this shit I look like I just want to do I need to lube ones above the other one okay but there's other things there to do the connectors it just like is it better to like the two separate tubes as it is to complete vagina face it's okay so what a liar because it's like one of them triplets that's what I was yeah yeah hey I'm here I would yeah way better to be sitting here with you guys 74 NFL receiver that Ren of my life I start conversations and Brandon makes it so worth it every time you say that but you know that it'll come to your head you'll think of that but I don't think I'm going to do this I don't know how to say this site Ridin Nye Ken the guy who had two penises and his AMA he did not absorb between interest and nobody but his and he answered do you have twice the opportunity or you have the ability to make her orgasm twice as much essentially because there's there's more tools that isn't the teacher and asking for twice as much homework I like to meet you but I like that kind of thing they will have to do I think we approach sex differently Brandon I guess I can tell you the biggest debate from this podcast with fans is going to be the use of Lewis hold on it's already on Twitter here Gavin with a yes or no question why all the questions I have to answer it but I lost it when I lost you I probably will after I got pranked with the Star Wars thing they're just about that thank you we had it we had the end of the when something works far as I know is the first one on the computer we handed out the awards for people in different departments is not me trying to gloat about getting your butt for Live Action I got the card of the Year award so I'm packing up all my stuff for the day I'm going home for break and I sit on my right passenger side of the Jeep as soon as I get home I open up the car door and it just slides out instantly shatters on the ground in a post look up before and after and after picture of the shattered trophy all so fucking mad luckily you guys had an extra money just rested on the seat like a small child yeah I was almost over then that would be smart but it's nothing big but anyways people were thinking like and even like co-workers mother like to do that on purpose cuz you like really mad about the Star Wars things like so people were thinking that I shattered it on purpose cuz I'm so mad but I'm not mad about this whole thing I think is really funny it was my favorite PlayStation 4 from a really good prank I can appreciate your business crawl yeah it was the steering pulley single light up until this point that the prank was perfect I was like I am seeing Star Wars this is amazing and so overcome with and what do you watch that video hard enough you can see tears building up in my eyes I was so fucking excited making up and crawling is just a little off and is like I know you're crazy but like the open house just a little bit shorter than what I remember you know they normally are able to pass this speed I do little things like here in there and the biggest giveaway was like at the end of it they didn't do its are there a tilt down or tilt up to like a planet or space ship and they pans and it was already on the planet and it's like something is amiss well to be fair though it pains to Chris a pain to the back of a wrong person but it looks like shit I don't know what that is probably the one day and then it shows Chris and I can actually but I was like I don't know that's that's not this is something wrong call 4 episode 7 ended up being anyway it was actually like and I remember the first time I saw the movie on opening night there first like 25 seconds of the actual Star Wars 7 cuz I was like I'm pretty and see what I thought we were going to do is you know have like the Lucas thing in the beginning 20 Century Fox and then you a black screen and then it was not the music Star Wars text and then as soon as we see like the episode number headlight does a hard cut to your like on Dish in video and got out of like the way they did it and then I fucking said it didn't when I was there but liking spoon-fed than that because I was like I don't want to mess with the background too much does a sliding screen and they use that against me because it now it's they had a perfect template to use for a hologram like I'm doing myself convenient way possible yeah imagine if we did it a month before the movie came out I would have believed that I'm not that stupid a day before I like when my friends and I guess her name got an actual screening to Star Wars Ren got an actual screen to the movie and she was going to go the day after I was supposed to go when I thought it was going to actually believe this like yeah this is how we have any time before then I was like what are you thinking I was going to try to talk crazy man on the set when Harrison Ford and chewy will not set it must have been meant to be like my greatest life goal is to somehow be involved with a future Star Wars movie but it will work on it is ridiculous nothing is good out there I told him I'd like to direct me but I don't know if they're going to because it's like those guys are crazy but like the president to put Blain and then Star Wars stormtrooper or whatever just be and somehow you're involved with it I want to watch a movie so we're going to go and cut it out so it's really short is Rooster Teeth podcast polemical and Gus I hope you enjoyed it see you next week