#378 - The Python Penis

Join Gus Sorola, Brandon Farmahini, Aaron Marquis, and Barbara Dunkelman as they discuss pythons, The Nice Guys, RTX 2016, and more on this week's RT Podcast! This episode originally aired on May 30, 2016.

Link: http://roosterteeth.com/episode/rt-podcast-2016-the-python-penis-378

Recorded: 2016-05-31 15:25:46

Runtime: 01:34:15 (5655.98 seconds)

Participants: Gus Sorola, Barbara Dunkelman, Brandon Farmahini, Aaron Marquis

[
    "rooster teeth"
    "comedy"
    "gus sorola"
    "barbara dunkelman"
    "brandon farmahini"
    "aaron marquis"
    "viral videos"
    "python attacks mans penis"
]

[
    "Kobayashi vs Giant Bear" => "http://bit.ly/1qLYDWS"
    "Betta Fish" => "http://bit.ly/1qLY0N4"
    "The Lonely Island" => "http://bit.ly/1qLZabc"
    "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping" => "http://imdb.to/1WXz3Ln"
    "Camp Camp Trailer" => "http://on.mash.to/1qLZZ3X"
    "Blue Apron" => "http://cook.ba/1nupZ2x"
    "Braintree" => "http://bit.ly/1qLWDxR"
    "Crunchyroll" => "http://bit.ly/1qLXiza"
    "Memorial Day" => "http://bit.ly/1sREFvV"
    "Glasses Viewed as Art" => "http://ind.pn/1sREhgP"
    "Alcatraz" => "http://1.usa.gov/1sRECQB"
    "The Rock" => "http://imdb.to/1sRF6q3"
    "Orange is the New Black" => "http://imdb.to/1sREyAc"
    "Oz" => "http://imdb.to/QmvWtV"
    "60 Days In" => "http://bit.ly/1sRFogD"
    "Vanilla Extract" => "http://bit.ly/1sRFo04"
    "VR Porn (SFW)" => "http://bit.ly/1sRFo04"
    "Demolition Man" => "http://imdb.to/1sRFJjd"
    "Sausage Kolaches" => "http://bit.ly/1sRGkl7"
    "Czech Stop" => "http://bit.ly/1sRGlFI"
    "West Fertilizer Plant Explosion" => "http://nbcnews.to/1sRHkpp"
    "Stoned Sheep Rampage" => "http://bit.ly/1sRGpVO"
    "Wine for Cats" => "http://bit.ly/1sRGEAi"
    "The Decendants" => "http://imdb.to/1qLQyRU"
    "About Schmidt" => "http://imdb.to/1qLRmGx"
    "The Nice Guys" => "http://imdb.to/1WXsVTs"
    "Credit Card Skimmers in Austin" => "http://bit.ly/1qLSXfi"
    "Chipped Credit Cards" => "http://bit.ly/1qLT8Hw"
    "Centaurmageddon" => "http://bit.ly/1qLU2E0"
    "Flan" => "http://bit.ly/1sASuOp"
    "Python Attacks Man's Penis (Graphic)" => "http://bit.ly/1qLUwdh"
    "Lemonade" => "http://bit.ly/1qLXq1J"
    "Let's Play Live" => "http://bit.ly/23UF9hC"
    "Dobie Theater Austin" => "http://bit.ly/1qLXIpr"
    "RTX 2016" => "http://bit.ly/QlTPBV"
    "Huge Roach Trap" => "http://bit.ly/1qLYu5K"
]

Audio:

Transcript (in progress):

hello welcome to this Memorial Day podcast this week sponsored by Blue Apron Braintree and crunchyrol I'm guess I'm Brandon I'm Aaron Barbara AR pre-taping this episode of the podcast so we are going to be ignoring you on social media timely as possible so people have loved to complain or crazy that EgyptAir 804 got sucked into the trans-dimensional War I and it just popped up back it just arrived back in Cairo I don't know where the giant sea monster the o on top of it was a bit concerned about was the surprising part more food and it went back through it thank I don't confuse AR that's the point now where we will be taking the week before so early when we first started doing podcast you know this wasn't like as we did so we could do it whenever and now there's so many live streams and broadcast shows you know if we have to reshuffle everything is okay cool you can either you can either do it at 6 a.m. or 10 a.m. finish up in our pajamas where are we what are we doing today okay you just there disappeared and then we move on or we just do like a group chat podcast from home and bed Google show me so well I'm headed to San Francisco this weekend with a little bit this past weekend was kind of funny for it was the most incredible thing that happened the most incredible thing that happened is when the biggest listed as I look as I was there as well that's a sad thing no it was okay so you like to is this weekend going to be heading out there to that San Francisco never been Camille and Brandon like all the touristy stuff everywhere else in California besides San Diego and then San Francisco future future San Francisco San Francisco I was reading some of the current article today where the some prankster in the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art whatever put his glasses on the floor in front of the wall like facing outward like purpose of a perfectly-placed just to fuck with people and people came by and started taking pictures of it stuff and like getting around like looking at and trying to interpret his glasses because this whole point was like people interpret anything as AR it and it's really it's really funny he did it to you with I think his baseball cap or something to I just had it on the floor place perfectly underneath a little but technically that is AR o is great it was like dang he and his friends basically telling everybody who buys his stuff for thousands of dollars at all fucking idiots morons people who loved his stuff is real barbar Memorial card as well you know it says like something about the he just got is going to pop around on the floor and that's what you can expect the same sister Outsider Art that's a lie cat fun tourist attractions no the reason I say no is because it involves so I have I feel like I have a lot of weird things about me what are the weird thing about me is that I do not like it and I'm going to get to the point you've actually I'm going to be kind of a long round-about way one of the things about me is I do not like going to parties like going out party on a boat because I feel like once you're there you cannot leave that you are stuck at that party until it was done going to a tourist attraction like Alcatraz is like a boat card the first you get on the boat then you go there then you're on an island nobody could escape from and if you're bored out of your mind you're stuck I feel like he's only been to one more party and it was really together bad experience in the side you in the whole thing is going to I think I want to slipping slide slip and slide Ma I don't like a slide water slide that was a little too long I think it was too long it was like two and a half for 3 hours and 30 minutes to 60 Minutes short I like that with people I don't like leaving then you like there's no escaping is like when you go in some places and it's like out here or you can text me when you pass the first checkpoint you like get me out of the fucking water have no never Cruz fuck no but that's the fun in it I just like being on a boat and I'm getting off at different stops and like being able to chill on the boat days between each No Escape weather Santa Cruz the go on a cruise I think you'd like Gus it's the sneaking the booze on board as well I think you would do it just to do that because like it's the thing with you know you packed 3 jumbo size Listerine bottles full of vodka the green or whatever and however else you're going to do it like that the that looks like a trap I trying to leave you crazy or something they're going to just activate prison mode again and you're not that cat it's like the joke's on you Brandon The ROC or something is in my class like it I don't know shit Brandon nobody's like man today I'm going to get better never argue what you're saying because it's so stupid I don't have that you're just trying to like mold me into this false sense of security because if you have everything is going to be I think about me too I actually have been I never want never went to Alcatraz I was afraid that like I get trapped on the island and that bad thing that I didn't know was going to happen was going to happen question and answer and it is far away from the actual say everything a mile in the water I think I'll have you know I could be wrong about the distance but it's not like a close swim I guess that's why I was present but less Atwater is fucking cold cold as shit you have a beach and have water that cold I don't get it just doesn't work when it was another person anymore when they shut it down because it was cruel cruel place wasn't no I don't think that's it the lot of system systematic abuse and problems with it that eventually it's just said it and it was like falling apart and also there's other prisons like that now that I was at Roosevelt Island or whatever New York there's there's maybe it's right here yeah I think I'll try this one of those they're like the place the Escape kind of tarnished their publicity I don't the guys got away like everybody had their own cell and everything but some of them are like let's I guess it called minimum security or something I know there's maximum security prisons really want to live about credit prisons she watches Jefferson as she can graduate to as Alcatraz apparently was in need of a lot of repair room and they determined that it was 3 times worse than stop rate than any other prison so they decided to start the repairs and it got to a point where they were like this is a really expensive prison and it turns out this repair is going to cost a lot more than we thought so then just forget it like major things they have to bring in and they have to be like ferret in right nice little Australia as what it is a kind of I guess transfer all the prisoners at the time they submitted plans for you make some security prison in Illinois and this kind of result on the San Francisco Illinois in a bummer if they all in different places I wonder if they had a little party and going away party you know it's time to time to move on Casio apocalypse but there's a tree 60 days and I think I'll talk to you guys about innocent people in jail and when the show finally ends in the other some of them are going home it's like the breakdown authors like come on just leave like 5 10 15 20 years still quite a bit it's not like you don't want to go to and it sucks and then you finally get through and all the sudden you got a letter Jason Young punches like that what else is is fine gang initiation in prison that involve something that you know you don't want to do it doesn't have to be but it could be like Aaron Shust is not called something like that you like that scissoring bumping Donuts is the term that I think I made a is it bumping the order okay no stop and don't as soon enough because if the donuts about you that's not what happens if you run into it well he's getting back to two holes or openings pounding or touching each other donut bumper one who participates in enjoys bumping Donuts now see you is it about days cuz you have to get your butts to know but your butt cheeks are too big not enough to get you know pull it open yeah I know cuz I have a really flat but it's really for like 3 minutes or more it's very painful and the same for anybody though I feel like I have a similar problem with your mom and if I fall asleep on a plane when I wake up my ass really hurts because it's so bony wiggle my butt o how do you Liv let's is a struggle give me nice beautiful yes how did you do that I think because I actually I don't know why I walk on my tiptoes a lot oh yeah you do and so I develop my calves and my glutes feels like squatting everywhere yeah I'm always squatting Aaron just walks along conflict the squad and then that I was wearing a couple days ago wearing that t-shirt that I got let's farm animals everyone was looking at me in the gym like because they're all wearing their onesies and whatever else they were at the gym and I was like I look like an asshole and I did look like an asshole but then I put on all the weight on the squad with my couch or at my farm animal shirt and then I do it and then you're strong asshole about the end of the story what is an app that should be the entire content like the four pages that actually have stuff written on them would be within that 400 Pages you have to like flip through all these blank pages he's wasted pages to find the store he life dark and sad I just get me that would be really nice it would be like half days and be stuck to the other pages Brandon Jones for today Trump back in the nineties is like funny genius apparently he made up personalities and pose as his own like publicists did you hear about that so people I call to talk to Donald he taking his like yeah this is Jerry kind of like Open Secret like the reporters kind of new about it like a tongue-in-cheek thing but it was just like sheep and for me it's really funny and in the past he even admitted that it was him yeah and then now it's come back up and he's like no that wasn't me he was a real person like you already that's so funny I know you like to know if that's really funny the lengths to which people like we'll just go along and play with it I'm sure they'd like because what is someone's my doctor and they're not treat that person as a person like you just hit like if you're a reporter and you're trying to get the story or something from the John Miller is obviously hasn't then you just have to treat them like a real person and that's the Oddity of it for me for me it just like this was a person that had to deal with even though it was Donald Trump and he was being an ass what are you going to do it it sounds like you don't trust them I just like trust me I know I I don't know I thought you'd like he's trolling had to produce such a beautiful daughter from a beautiful wife but I mean his genetics are still in there or he wasn't a bad-looking guy and if you look at young pictures of him hanging about Donald Trump dashing looking Google I never thought I'd do is the taller very possible is what I'm saying I mean Jackson's kids aren't his right to not know Donald Trump movie on Funny or Die did you guys eat Terry as well as handsome I know you said you guy is he really did he die what heat it up now let me see what is this is this like 70% is not a bad looking dude I never know if I don't know which is his wife or was his wife she's pretty also election liberals conservatives vote Hillary O Okay I want to talk about it it's way too early I don't know just let me know that while we all try to digest that let me read this thing please thank you thank you one of mine up so the podcast is brought to you by Blue Apron not all ingredients are created equal fresh high-quality ingredients taste better and are better for you so it's important to know where your food comes from Blue Apron know that when you cook with Incredible ingredients you make incredible meals so they set the highest quality standards for the community of artisanal suppliers family run Farms fisheries and Ranchers with its Japanese ramen noodles wild Alaskan salmon or heirloom tomatoes Blue Apron is bringing you the best for less than $10 per meal Blue Apron deliver seasoning recipes along with proportion ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals Blue Apron customize your recipes each week based on your preferences each meal comes with a step-by-step easy to follow recipe card and proportion greeting 60 repaired in 40 minutes or less check out this week's menu and get to start over check out this week's menu and get your tooth meals free with free shipping by going to Blue apron.com slash Rooster Teeth your love how good it feels and taste create incredible home cooked meals for Blue Apron so don't wait is blue apron.com slash Rooster Teeth Blue Apron a better way to cook thank you blueprint for spotting the steps of the podcast and for helping me make delicious food the Japanese ramen I mention sex is really good to talk with your my favorite recipes teet I feel like it's it's it's a good way to like after working all day that's a good way to just like relaxing like cleanse your mind so I was going to do this kind of shit and it as I am let's as a waste of time for me and it's also usually end up buying too much to hurt you like that you like them let's let you know card and then whatever else makes some vanilla extract the thing that I have a ton of and no idea what it does the only cookies and vanilla never extrac last forever right the bottle vanilla extract that no joke remember seeing was for 5 and she had until I was in my mid-twenties like it was the same one that had the same I Katie's looking label and stuff on it to be a tough business to be saying we told everyone a bottle over head the stop when you go to buy one just like it will I got one of them pornography though go on is like we've already the last night there's a porn producers were like listen we need to sell more porn we need to come up with a new finish and you angle for pornography vagina and ass it's already ma VR RTX a topical right now looks like a new show comes out pornography we have it we have more than we need AR Anna Campbell even doing some work I'm going to porn hub and I want to see how many categories of pornography they have I want to see I'm not I swear podcast right now when there's VR porn of inside vaginas this is a waste of time when I'm doing right now I could be in no o yeah probably not but that you could be in your own VR world never be together I guess like a sex scene in timecop and go there's no doubt demolition as soon as like Sylvester Stallone puts on the little of whatever crown for the sex and he's like Brandon hear that like weird flashback of whatever and Sandra Bullock's like trying to Bone him with her ocean man it takes place in the far future 2032 or something like that like it's 06 is been outlawed because it's too like physical sex because it's the physical as opposed to the sex of a the make the sex where you put on the two people sit across from each other and they put that transmit your thoughts to one another and then you just have to focus and you sit across from each other and try and sex each other with your minds and Sandra Bullock and Sylvester Stallone engaged in it but Sandra Bullock's having a great time and she's like you know doing this thing was Sylvester Stallone's been frozen for 30 years and he's having a bad time and so you should anyway let me know stop talking so much I counted how many categories are in porn hub for in the straight category and indicate category yes how many do you think are in each of those categories I feel like you just hit the categories button it's probably about 32 that's what I did I just had categories and then there's an option to straight or gay and I counted and you try to eat or 32 total probably man I would think 32 total but I've never seen it said meant it like that so I bet there's 208/230 to 200 little bit of a difference between those two I'm going to guess that there 60 it was 86 in straight 26 and Guy come on guys did get up this cat extrac West the last like 5 or 6 years virtual reality in 60 frames a second Texans maybe that's too many categories let's I prefer meat and potatoes when it comes to the porn just meat and potatoes as a separate category for your o and a separate category for Czech going back to Blockbuster back in the day is long for something or deciding on something and then a tired give up and go home you lose your boner but you're just imagining it in your head I wonder if as a porn actress or actor like you said Czech and Euro I was like you could be you know whatever Australian or something blow up because you have but because you have a certain look you have to be in Czech porn because you have like a little 10 and like a certain noise or something whatever they like yeah you have to be Czech porn like you're not we're not going be able to sell you as if whatever is Austria Australia I believe porn you're going to be Czech or Russian let's ar e an Australian porn you can't really tell but that's really not let's start talking now because they're upside down never fucking a really good about to go down under nothing happens what happened people have started drawing stuff West Town Dental in neon what was the Library of Congress and how long it would take you to read like hundreds and hundreds of would you be free to meet you're going to tell this trip based on all the pronography in the world how long it would take you to watch everything probably like a million years will you be allowed to do that in heaven like if you're in heaven I can do is watch every single porn ever made it like people like what you want to read every single porn I want to see it cuz I'm ready and the Czech porn wine out there but I'm going to bed now that's why you start on the Spectrum yet you start with like stuff that's pretty tame and then you work your way up to 250 million years when you're looking for something you buy the rooster porn case it's AR it's a test it's not Wednesday so what's your taste I don't know it's a very private question yeah but anything is for sure about anything with like tentacles painting with Blac label tentacles betta porn you know what is stop playing there's as there was a fuck medical service at your time of the book saying like you know it's a dorky thing to say he's great but there's just not enough time to do it same with the formula traile to wash all this great porn but I suppose porn videos AR another 15 minutes so I can be even longer and you only want like 2 minutes while you watch the first 20 seconds to as in the middle like 30 30 basketball 2000s I'm right it's true that we have the same for some reason one of the big porn sites tweeted at Miles United in porn hub there were like 3 different major sides in the how come we've been left she's a big rooster teeth fan I really I think her name is Katie she's like to read it all of us know I responded to something she wants and she was are you being Barbara and I was like ma Barbara creations with porn I'm a little sappy video the owner of that donut shop is kind of by our studio had a heart attack last week trying to leave money in the tip jar python as he and his wife he's alive about it lately and I wanted that donut shop we are going to a production and it was like 5 in the morning and this is at the time we're like you know you don't have anyone to go get the stuff like Chris and I had to go get the crap services and get the direct thing you do all the everything you show up at 5 in the morning and wanted to order of donuts and kolaches for like 50 people and for the lady in the guy they like they like start screen we try to get this together the totally didn't they could have told us to fuck off but they're like scrambling to get all this stuff together and Chris is like demanding Chinese food and we were out there in like 15 minutes there's so nice for you this morning yeah that's what I was eating kolache before the place really feel like you don't ever hear about that play blue kolache is like a big like Central Texas I had never heard for I think it's like German rolling here Jack Oregano's kind of like it's like a lot softer than the pig in a blanket dough it's like camp Camp barbar can use a lot softer Barbara there's a new barbar category on porn hub like you know been filled with a hotdog in a bun is completely closed what the fuck you're not The Kolache said they have your Wikipedia don't look anything like The Kolache as we buy and then there's a subcategory under related dishes let's is a related is called a Columbus never actually referred to as kolache can you click on that it is popular in Central and Southeast Texas and click on that and that's what we call a kolache clubs near Columbus OH Intuit I think of them what are the place I like to get kolache never drive to Dallas is that place in West called the Czech stop never been there so few years ago there was explosion in West metalizer Factory blew up and it was about that last week I thought they came out and said that they don't believe that that explosion was intentionally set off any tension between here in Northeast what do you say vamanos fertilizer you know and then I think maybe just give it away as everyone knows is that also the World Trade Center bombings I think in 93 the one in the van and the van they were I was fertilizer as well they have any leads or have any idea why I think so but they're not saying anything it was that it wasn't this morning they had a problem with this herd of sheep that went on a rampage because they ate a bunch of discarded cannabis plants plant and her two sheep found it and they went on a rampage and tell me see if I can find what sleep probably Aaron as I ate like a sheep as you know cuz they're sheep then they probably had like a big but you know they don't really like Alpha logos for shirts we're just not sure it's been so I guess he was in Swansea Wales and the county councillor visit from him I dread to think what will happen if they eat okay I'm sorry I dread to think what will happen if they eat what could well be cannabis plants we could have an outbreak of psychotic sheep representative considering the quote there's already a flock of sheep Roach 30 people they also ate all the snacks from middle for everyone's house never about voting for Bernie Sanders anybody with information about the move the plants to contact the police because they're trying to figure it out to feed animals weed or alcohol just to watch what happens but I think they just think they have too much so they have way too much credit I mean where you can get pregnant the day orange the the really scary thing with people and leaves you eating it because you don't know how much is too much well whenever you eating it any amount is always too much fun with it the eight easiest dog names that I think that he would get stoned all the time and apparently the dog eventually like that how he Pizza I don't know if I should get it stoned all the time and you know then the dog hey mans caliber of drug that is probably why there was probably more wine for dogs then but now it's just too strong so smart it for a couple years ago there was a story out of Japan where there's a company that started manufacturing wine for cats yum yum Nouveau it was $4 wow so you can get if you live in Japan you can buy some of that and what made it special for cat you're going to wine spirits marketing I don't know a snow cone for dogs cuz I was like oh that sounds delicious for the dog and then I got it and it was a cup full of ice with some disgusting wet dog food like on the side of the lake the edge of the top of the cup and then like OCD Bea sad dog bacon just like shelves Through The Eyes Of Love medicine for adults I looked over and started eating grass should is better a normal guy but it's just the idea of it seems so cool like I'm the guy that you are that guy Penny would drink Cat Wine absolutely I can do that wine tasting events is the cat that looks like soy sauce or something doesn't look like wine there's a cat on the bottle so LOL yeah I am touching the bottom but yeah I wonder if there's like some nice wine you know that you drive out to the wine country inn place with tons of cats like a little bit VR from little cat to see sideways Rashad with cats in as well so is a piece of shit movie you will like son for sciatica about six months ago it was so slow he got so slow and there are no cats in it I probably would church was for anybody about it was great to about who directed it Kathy Bates movie which was that I was just making it under the hot tubs in Nebraska about Schmid I meant that's what I was about to send it was good it was one of the best movies of that year I couldn't believe that in Winter George Clooney then when you guys know what the decendant is about now so this guy was with his wife in Hawaii and she has a stroke and it's really bad stroke like she's basically like she's in a boating accident at boarding a cruise line is in a building if she's just rendered completely incapacitated like you know there's just nothing going on like paralyzed and you know her brain she's got brain dead but she was in a boating accident cuz she was on a boat with the man she was cheating on George Clooney with George Clooney as you know the mother of his children he's like now in the hospital brain dead but she been cheating on him for years it stop so they have been he goes like this was grappling with that and then he wants to in I forgive this guy so you but you want to introduce himself and forgive this guy and tell him if you want to visit her in the hospital you can so it's like him like struggling with that internally and then like tracking this guy down and then having a in a really hard for any tracking down the guy with the boat yet something really good job of just like being able to internalize that conflict as he's not like an over-the-top after he's not stupid the tortured is relocation in Hawaii the scenery and Ma she's beautiful yeah there's a certain amount of like physical comedy but you know like it's it's good to see them sideways it's kind of like a light-hearted no drama, Thomas Haden Church is constantly when he has sex with that waitress the one later on the kind of bigger one that's the funniest O Holy virgin anyway you the great great but we just saw the same Blac is is the guy that wrote and directed he wrote Lethal Weapon and the last Boy Scout was one of my favorite movies and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang screenplay for that movie yeah she got one dress I had on it also I don't have the money but no one ever living together but he got the script and we read it we like all men just so awesome and it's one that seems like they still weren't making this movie because he was kind of like kind of like guy off of Hollywood was kind of wiping their hands of him all the time you're like man this sucks as this movie's not going to get mad because it was so fucking funny the whole script is just so clever ever seen it's a turnout it to turn well that's one of the problems with it the store you got lost is this a down-and-out PA investigator and this guy is basically hired to rough people up for money have to join forces and try and find this girl at the behest of her shit her mom is like the Department of Justice head or something and this girl's gone missing and they need to find her you know otherwise she might be killed or so I can't give away too much because it's all so I don't know how to explain it gets the stories not the strong point of it is the interaction with Gosling and Russell Crowe they're so great and like I grew up watching the doors for good I liked the Rockford files Grant was forced to watch it as a kid but like it's got like a Rockford Files Vibe and it's got a mix of The Last Boy Scout which was this movie made I was going to black out 91 with Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans and I love Last Boy Scout in this has that feel that they should go see it so you told me last week I'm not sure which is better pill the record for a while for the most profanity in the most f-bombs you can say it 200 + x I know but some of the responses in dialogue you like your name will say like you know so you know the most personal guy and Bruce Willis to go fuck you and he's like hey that's a great comeback he was like anything else it's like you go to hell and fuck you like it's get 2 of them you know and it was great great writing great writing reminder to buy Braintree payments wine make payment integration more difficult than it has to be braintre is powerful full stack payment platform allows you to accept nearly any type of payment for any device with just one immigration is flexible so your systems need that supports most programming languages to other using Java Ruby or python I always have a range of services and client-side sdks available braintre except there's any type of payment from Apple pay to bitcoin to venmo credit cards or whatever type of payment the future may hold Braintree makes payments and your job a whole lot easier or more at Braintree payments.com / Rooster Teeth Let's Braintree payments.com / Rooster Teeth thank you very for sponsoring this podcast and making taking people's money on the internet easy get me to the website Century take people's money buy something and it's like nothing so I can wear things like look I'm trying to give you my money like why are you making this so hard for me the whole thing that have to have you wanted to be hard in some regards like for people to take your money but not hard so hard that you just can't believe it sausage this morning I guess I sound like 60 credit card skimmers at different gas stations around town yeah but it wouldn't say which gas station does not harm to businesses I guess it's not their fault but still if you want to know like did I go 212 companies in and you'll get the notification I'm sure the target I got an email today from one of the credit card companies I have like a personal credit card do you like your new car giving you card in the mail your account numbers not change we're just send you a card with chip technology in it like I've already got the chip in my card but you don't have to send me another one credit card couple months ago or whatever and like I got a call apparently someone in Japan was trying to buy like this really state-of-the-art stereo system and like my bank called me is like a AR the new Toshiba crazy stereo and I was like no the Sheep crazy I was like okay and then they just like what we went ahead and cancelled it for him is like you want him to cancel it Bea also like to know this starts a chain of events that is going to fuck me for 2 months and it sure enough it did like I would think that I changed everything to a new card but then like my internet went out and then like to have your Spotify and then like something it's something major like I forget what it was like my insurance not linked up to it and I changed it to like my bank account but like all the sudden and you know I got this thing it's like your insurance again this isn't normally like when it's done correctly you're in the middle go and deal with the other prominent for a second here I'm having right now is my ATM card for my back finally got swapped out to like the chipped card right which makes ATMs and Nightmare for me as normally go to an ATM it's like you would like when it was just you it's like you're card or stick it in pull it out now it's like if I stick my card in and put your card to swipe it it's like we could not read your card you have a chip enabled please stick your card in and leave it in until your profit otherwise I know what that's like now we can start there I'm trying to leave it in there but the computers to go to pull it out they have to tell you you're done and then you get to put you out at places like Target or other stores I don't know if this white thing or the chipped is taken cuz I have a car with a chipped and sometimes you can just swipe it and it still works just fine that's why I like have a chipped use the chipped and I'm like look at you like you're the chipped in attacks known as white looking nice mans ATM still running like Windows XP sounds like you huge thing with Microsoft discontinue support it's like ATMs around the country like never upgraded and I think it's just like it's time for an upgrade this whole transition going from magnetic stripe what is the benefit of the chipped you're credit center the weight on a basically the way it works is you swipe your credit card number and it runs an authorization on it when you use to chipped it doesn't send your credit card number to generate such a unique one-time-use token that the payment system then uses to authorize that way even if the payment processors data is breached didn't have your credit card number they said the one time you took those encryption type thing or something because I didn't know what the hell to do because ultimately it's better than this period of transition it's inconvenient because I was using it I think Montreal or something like you have to put it the card and then he stopped and ran up and I was like what is number to see what you credit card so you would put the chip in put the pin number and then you would have to sign anything so there's a better way to go here you put the chip in people look at me like I was the biggest fucking idiot when I went to the UK the couple weeks ago cuz there it's also a chip and pin card into nice it looks like it's small and it's very I mean there's no it's just paper nothing I guess like you know like American money has like the shiny things on it or like some parts that you could tell like you love me just call that money here not American but then they grow I don't know I was drinking this crazy rum drink that was called and what was it called Barbara I think anyway that makes you go crazy it's like this it is a mix of cola and rum it's running it's like the lowest form of ram that they have there in the lowest form of coke so you drink it and I only AR for some chemical processes is going on your Camp safety measures agriculture accounts for 18% of the gross domestic product and its employed 70% of the workforce as of 2001 sugar exports and the growing tourist industry are major sources of Foreign Exchange and those really good exchange rate and it was so it's like something cost $200 and its own that's like every I feel like everything we did it and they also do if they don't accept tips but it was like it was such a good exchange rate we're just consoling like here please Santa Bounty that was the drink the drink you drink Bounty and then you get a little cross-eyed and then you get that chemical Bounty smell I want something now places like give me about the place not like we don't sell it here you can wear about the for the label looks like me that's their spokesperson yeah that's the room they make it from they also fuel boats and cars with it nice this podcast nice guy yes where you the Bounty man once now that Ronnie Ronnie Ronnie man's Bounty paper towel but they do not have a man I was growing and apro Public Access sketch that was taken down but I brought a corporation so we made the sketch where all these girls are thinking about brawny man and how he must be just so manly and lovable and all this stuff and then like goes into like this you know days or whatever to the real life brawny man and he's like this drunk and crazy guy he's like yelling at his wife and stuff and so anyway he ends up killing a bunch of people and all this stuff and then and then his neighbors come by see what's going on he kills them and buries them to bury him next to mr. clean in this like gravel pit and stuff and is what is one for the kids this the show can I play Barry Mann who put o o the cease-and-desist orders from me cuz this is like an early YouTube is like 2003 days I think will not for Google YouTube in 2006 or 2007 on the cost or whatever other but they made us take it down there like it was used as a lesson in public access there like you guys can make anything you want except things like this and then they show brawny man and I shocking I know Termidor cowardice that made them take it down it was cowardice you're the one that did not upload that's Roc new version we can make a new version certainly but that was like those were for HD we had HD cameras to DV tapes and sleeping over DV tapes it was is a great program that mans thing that we did this morning actually Gus no it was I have to feel like some public access to play I don't you it seems so I guess so you saw the for all of you and Ester based off of some we had in the shower and I put it up nice to get all of my television from an antenna to go over there and I can pick up the new t station and I would watch it every now and then and I said before like I met you before you were here I'd seen I seen that and there was a couple who had a painting of themselves as me and Jessica who played Jessica in the show paper sack right like how that guy in the wheelchair o we've done a CAT scan show that Zach anner as I can and we didn't origin story how I got in wheelchairs basically he was he was cleaning up something in the street or whatever that likes him he's getting this like a record contract or whatever and his contract spills out into the street and as he's like trying to pick up the papers Chris and this other guy are driving in this SUV and they thought he was a bag of trash in the road today 84 put him in the wheelchair and he loses his record deal and all that stuff based on true story let's we can't show any the stuff that we saw on public access for Public Access stay on public access or go into the depths of the internet I remember one of the big competition on public access was the guy who would nice in front of a green screen and we teach people how to robot I would like I also like women in public I just like him cuz he's very hunky stereotype of what you think Public Access is one time we have for them but that is far as my wife and I commissioned a painting of ourselves with Benjamin as a rock and roll centaurs and called it did not even realize that centaurmageddo metal that is so guy one time and Public Access o this so a lot of fans sometimes ask like you know how you put up with negative comments and stuff on YouTube or whatever and I always tell them what we did stuff on public access when you know there were no comments sections or anything like that you're not Public Access you had to put your phone number at the end of the video and people would call you and go like hey that thing you put on Friday fucking suck and you're like who is this I don't do any people who would tell you either to your face or over the phone that you fucking suck and so that was basically this one time is one show you know how sometimes we have like calling or tweet us about stuff ma about we have the same we're like alright person to come 2 p.m. right when we used to go on he said the first person to come down to the station with a flan dessert we will about and so we're like is just kind of as a joke and we went on with their life sketch thing whatever anyway we get this Buzz of the door and you wonder how there was like a dark and Courtyard outside of the War Room that you could see out of the windows and I feel like the shafts of light like little pools like we go to the war room and we looked out the window and there's a kidney not a shadowy guy in a trench coat with a blonde in his head and he saw let's go to the win and he just waves like that shut down everything will go out there call out there and then I bring something until it's not like we're is Brandon there was enough everything's okay until it's not as another awful story I read this morning and I'll do it there was a guy in Thailand who sat down to do his morning business and unbeknownst to him a python had worked its way up the toilet and bit his dick and attached itself to his dick and it's it sounds like a really bad story but it's it's like what is the in the bathroom after it's just like it looks like a horror movie there's blood everywhere there's a snake that's tied up in a titan snake that's what it in the store they say that plant attacks himself to the snake at as his dick he started screaming for his wife to bring him a rope straight it doesn't count if the snake bites you everything counts may be funny though about groaning second interview can be funny if you want to like some bad doctor o my God where was this tall and he went to some Doctor Who wasn't very good was like alright we will fix your penis and we remove the Snake River go up but like when you look at it actually sold like they couldn't distinguish what was penis and what was snake so it's like he is part like snake and part penis and a The Reptilian what is the outside cover so like whenever you get Chris Baker penis Czech I woke up until it wasn't but isn't that an old like that's an old tale or whatever of either alligators or snakes coming up the toilet Rugrats all is coming up from the toilet into the toilet in there right Roc as we're back there it's really just like water at the very important you see and then gets held up because they're just a bunch of air back there again I don't think it's like an old wives tale but I know bugs my apartment come up to the door sorry I didn't tell you this because I didn't know not so I had to say like a couple security cameras in my home that and what the other day at night in the middle of the night like you think there's motion it send you an alert so I woke up one morning and I looked it was like it was motion at 4 a.m. that's really weird and it's got like night-vision so you can see you know grayscale and confused on what happened in for him and I click on it and I'm watching and then all of a sudden like this giant bug flies lifting everything like a motion to cuz like it doesn't your surveillance system record and like every other second or whatever frame rate but it was just what it was it was probably the worst place to live in Austin being terrified of bugs because there is some weird looking sit here back at her office and Roc down south you know the office we were in before this one the alarm there we just always go off like I don't know what it was but like every day was a different reason and there was one day went off at like 3 in the morning and I remember just got in and he liked log into security footage and you couldn't figure out what had happened and you were just sitting there just watching it like frame by frame by frame and you eventually just saw like a rat just like 15 like one of like the show there's a giant rat infestation that's your house like a bug that was I don't know it looks I don't know I don't think we were shooting some stuff outside for day 5 and there is a lot of for some actors and actresses from LA and crew from La who you know aren't as they don't know about Austin's kind of corks and stuff for shooting stuff outside at night and they see these no but with the cupboards above us going around and making these little noises and stuff here don't tell them it's bad still tell them that two dozen of them when we were shooting and they were all there probably about 30 feet above us but they do if they're trying to like mess with you or they feel threatened or whatever but there's a lot of bad I was like yeah yeah Christina guy trying to strangle this like 5 more times they knew it was bad there was some people that they knew that since then no no no I had a phone into a meeting a couple days ago I just said I got a frantic phone call from Paula and she was like I'm lock myself in the bedroom with Penny there are birds there are like so many birds just flying around our apartment and she's like terrified and I was like okay okay okay I'm like coming home and I thought you know these must be like I don't do that so I went into AR like our studio and I grab some protective eyewear so I was like if they're aggressive they're going to like your work is I mean I was planning on getting a broom and you know blue and I'm just very confused face and punch you in the face so by the time I get there she already left and she left like the dog locked up she called the apartment complex she called 311 West Toledo Animal Control I can tell when your birds so I get there outside the door and I opened it and it looks like all the birds are gone except I see one still there and it's like a tiny bird that probably like 2 inches tall just like hanging on one of the the cutest world I walk by it we just some people are just such a crazy irrational fear that I can put 1002 documented train them to attack people but one time we have been in virtualbox Falcons you can be the weirdest fucking old man in the world you're going to go for you though for your eyes because they look like a girl that was that we had to film something with Zack and as a Cantor and Zack interest deathly afraid of birds like a small small animals but anyway we had this whole thing set up this whole scene setup o about ready to film and Zack wasn't there and Chris and I like where the hell is that so we call them and the answers and guess who he really is that your suppose to be on set like 10 minutes ago where are you is like I'm trapped in your trap because I'm trapped in the stairwell of my apartment because there's a bird in the hallway and we go because Chris and I new like if he's trapped by bird this is this bad news so I go over there and sure enough is a cat hiding in the stairwell because there's a little Sparrow in this hallway so I go back what can I do to get you out of this apartment building huge bird or whatever I'm not going to kill the bird what it what do I do he's like I just I just don't want to see it so I go okay so what I did is I went to his apartment and I grab the Sheep right and what I did is I draped it over there and drag him out sure I had to drag him on the ground he was basically screaming the whole time she's afraid of the bird and I threw Ma Sharon press down and then I he showed up in the lobby lying on the floor he was he'd rather be dragged across the floor like basically kidnapped then deal with a little sparrow that was one of the categories on porn hub I'm sure there's plenty of that and she porn that's already been made wine AR people in latex and like suck all the air out what kind of your body's got to breathe they put a little is really bizarre exactly like everything circular sausage play Texas the button let me let me know o wonder where to buy crunchyrol I control you get only the newest episodes available as soon as one hour after Aaron Japan Bea a simulcast all the time crunchyrol AR as professionally subtitled and in 1080p HD you want crunchyrol across all devices Xbox PlayStation Wii U Roku Android and more control premium is usually 695 per month but it's yours for 3:10 to check out that some of the top spring ones to look out for AR Twin Star Exorcist hundred and rezero starting life in another world you can track crunchyrol premium for 30 days for free at crunchyroll.com slash Rooster Teeth Let's crunchyroll.com slash Rooster Teeth thank you crunchyrol cuz it's like I don't know there's like all the legitimate anime car shows that there were you actively participated stuff on iTunes like the movies not nothing he said but it was like really surreal to just see it there it's like it's like you feel like you do the system she did not know it was like there was like a couple hours like it was like Drake and Beyonce was right there along with them haven't I feel like I'm the only person on Earth I would Schmid 94 hours and that was it right I don't know I don't know how was watching was watching it was really really awkward because it's all about how her husband was like cheating on her is true right I think that's what she was saying came from your place and I like to think I don't know anything about it or card Jay-Z Jay-Z Jay Z they didn't know anything about what she was making and she's like no it's really great you'll love it it's like he knows he plays it he's just sitting there is like you fucking kidding me she's like extramarital Affairs but it's a whole concept album and put a lot of our stuff out their public that is out there but like that that's like a whole that's awesome I think it helps his image I don't know like you love her I don't know about that I always think of I mean I don't also don't know that much about it but like you know I would I would think that the anti whipped like rap Mogul a great light yeah good job cheating on your wife like this stay-at-home dad vanilla I'm not is that his you know you're right braintre destroying my ma the right all right movement best rate no the flow so they started talking about kinda funny Live 2 I want to also mention the other we have other events coming up coming up in a couple weeks in June 17th in La at the Dolby Theatre as a couple of tickets still have I think we're going to be announcing programming soon maybe by the time the stairs I don't know if they'll help me that would be awesome we're going to have a bunch of the operations but really cool stuff that's ridiculous when I first heard a while ago that we were doing a let's play Liv the Dobie theater I heard Dobie theater like the old cities within I was like isn't that the one that we said suck dick Verizon watch the show behind like the pillars that are always I ringtones betta City Dobie theater exactly what does the Dobie theater in Los Angeles so it's going to be really cool and then of course right after that early July way RTX delivered by Pizza Hut July 1st to 3rd in the Austin Convention Center and what course you're going to have a screw attacks down HTC is going to be here as well as to be a huge event and the other guy Bea days left something like that so there are still some tickets left is going pretty fast so you still have an opportunity to check that I'm surprised they scheduled it just come out so the surprising thing I did actually but I'm glad I thought about this so about those are done but there are still a few left there it's weird that West Ticketmaster ticket and then upgrade and I think a lot of people don't realize that that's why there's still some VIP tickets let's go back and look at your Ticketmaster think there's a way to upgrade it if you'd like to do I don't know I don't want to but I think he's going to make me 43 stuff so I can extend my trip even longer and how did the conversation go with Bethany forces you to do something you don't want to do it and she said you have to make it work like that the term that's an ugly turn but they're not like passive aggressive threats I think it's a good way to put it. So I'm going to call her out on something for the past couple of days I've been like sitting at my desk and every now and then like I'm having one of those apple this place kind of kind of big I was in there working every now and then like a fruit fly land on it what the fuck is coming from and I didn't fly away and then in my mind a few minutes late I thought the same proof I would come back and I look around like do I have something on my desk thanks thinking there's nothing in this morning I realized what it was Bethenny had this little thing of banana bread on her desk for the past several days and I looked over at her desk and there was a cloud for their couple hundred fruit flies only Ma covered in fruit flies flies have eaten half of it by now if you put it in the fridge she's a tough little the way that I'm so disgusting so chipped as she got out of the office whatever happens beyond that is not my concern I don't maggots on it and stuff yeah your discs broke like a day apart person in his office who has the same model of doing this that we do all of our death within the same week and some people have had those desks for months before us weird it's so is here and she's surrounded by flies o yeah we're talking your fruit flies catastrophe this morning in the office penis character with someone that you have banana bread for days on Bethany as my witness fire people for bringing flies can't you let's find out I don't think you can that would be an awesome with like HR brings you in there like we loved your performance you're very nice person a lot of flies whenever you're around I do want to just mention that we're going to have a lot of really awesome programming including a big crunch time and a big day five panel that we're going to be I think showing some sneak previews of the shows on we're going to be having the cast and crew on and if they're going to be really really big really fun so if you're looking for a panel to go to RTX I highly suggest one of those too incredible Brando for Brandon so you know that's what I'm going to call in like fucking annoying right and once you get them if I can possibly get rid of them so I got one of those little traps little you know plastic balls that have kind of like a upside down AR I guess I might be right that a funnel and you're only supposed to put vinegar in it what happened to the fly fly to the funnel to get to the vinegar and then I can't figure out yet so I had one of those in there and all the fruit flies like we're attracted to it but they were all just hanging out at the top just like chillin like 20 of them and none of them would go in and you just sitting there staring at them and it's like that scene in Happy Gilmore where you're just like get in the fucking hole like I don't know what to do or how to make it any more appetizing to get rid of the I didn't you should throw away your butt what is Maddie going to be never everywhere it's just make sure to put sugar water for honey isn't the same that you can't work Justin Bieber and vinegar the fruit fly just too dumb to fly in the thing and Brandon too dumb to get rid of the flu travel me just grab them with your hair traps I saw a beast promotional video on I have like a bug trap this company in Japan makes like roach traps you like the kind that you put down he's got like sticky pad on the inside the roach get stuck in your throat away I need a giant version of it and then had like athletes try to run across it to show how strong their their traps are nice as an advertisement for the truck so it's like they got like a scientist a sprinter and a sumo wrestler credit across it aaro put your hands down there just like ma Gus invariably just get stuck and fall over and then to come over and cut the clothes off of me why would you create a data scientist so dispassionate writing Barbara photo betta Park City cleared fucking fights at like you stop so early but man he does not give up LOL stupid his diaper study guide we're in a hotel getting to be amazing if with that trap thing they went like spray them with poison to dislike show how effective were they get stuck in the let's pick it up and throw it away over it but they came with like a solution dissolves the adhesive become a spray bottle and spray tan in days I got something to close it like the strands of stickiness on you be careful those things that you plug into a wall and it's basically like a super bright lamp and then right behind the lamp is a sticky sticky pad or stick huge favor and you know headed outside and I was working real well you know what it's like to fly and then we left and I forgot to unplug it so then the next morning I go out there and then it's like the elephant graveyard of flies just like just like you can't even see the white of the pad anymore and then I was like oh that's weird why is it moving and I see you like a swarm of ants have got it and they were just like going out and I was like in there like ants all over the balcony of the I didn't know what to do so I just took a garbage bag threw it in there tied it and left it there for life for days I figured it would work itself out the amazing of like the world based off of one that like you caught all these flies in your area and then the frogs and have anything to eat so I killed off all these directly responsible to you like your stupid he flies a day like I think I've stumbled upon a solution to help wipe out zika this is a great premise for like an Apocalypse movie where everyone tries Brandon stupid idea I just destroyed get to like this Global level yes I can FIS I think it well no not from The Simpsons perspective so nice to have a there was one when the frog in a little the snakes and that was at Southpark I came in let's the time Family one where Homer has the The Time Machine toaster is that one of the Halloween of telling the truth or she has a chance it's always fuckin amateurs really bad story which I think I briefly told on the podcast so I used to have a betta fish in college the betta fish it's also known as like a samurai fighting fish I think they can't live with another fish because they fight each other until one of them kills each other I feel like you could do things like put a mirror in the bowl and I'll fight to be really crazy because it was upside down and it wasn't moving and so I want to take it out and so I scooped it out with just like I think I need to spoon I was like oh it's dead and when I started to look at the water it started thrashing around and fell out so obvious it was still alive but I have like a thing with fish swear I don't want to touch it also like I didn't know that this thing was going to like start thrashing around like that hurt me so barbar that he actually looks like that it was that in like pink blue and pink and so at least intimidating fish I've ever slept on the floor and was thrashing around on the floor and I was like you know what fuck this fish so I just put a container over it and hope that it was just like guy Barbara the day and then I left Big 12 the city's been killing maybe the little cat that makes too much suffering Malinois and leave it there for a few days your life that's a Savage you can get like a bag to scoop it up lonely rolling I fish start his day was going to be fine he's taking a nap now he knows he's on the floor I need let's there any she will protect beautiful blonde woman then because of let's definitely dead by now and so I like to the thing where you put the paper on anything you stupid up and I put in the toilet to flush it still alive you know for you to find you a check that toilet every day that your toilet every day I hope maybe you left it there the fishes swimming somewhere else right now it's like 8 feet long and it's waiting for you to go in like the Atlantic Alcatraz right now grabbing all the boats Michigan glass bottom boat when you want someone around people if you're watching this episode of podcast on YouTube that we originally broadcast it on Monday evenings at rooster teeth.com if you'd like more information click on the link below for a 30 day free trial so I want to do that and check it out and start today thank you I was going to do that today no no absolutely not as bad idea so then last week we released the we're talking about movies Aaron I want to talk about this we released the second we did with the Lonely Island I got a chance to watch Popstar we talked to them so I can talk about that next week I think something really funny probably like 10 years or something however long they been making contact I remember seeing betta just two days later they put out on YouTube when it first came out just two guys and we're having a good time for Spirit theater their show all sometimes it's really funny because like I did one of the first things I saw of Music they did that and down with stork Patrol never see Store Seattle is like they're like looking at some cute girls or whatever and then all the sudden they like push those girls outside and there's this just person dressed up as like in a really shitty Stewart costume and the whole thing was about like them rapping and trying to like hook up with this nice it's really just looks like there's a lot of really surprising given a lot of them the more they want fixing to get out of that with him just like smashing a digital is so small and puny in the same like it as even look real as you sent me worked on it a lot Furniture days O positive the cat to the side like green screen there's something about it like he was a little too big then we could we would have released the camp camp trailer by now to know it was Thursday so go check that out if you haven't seen it yet I don't know if you seen any of the episodes released back in April and that's all I see people working on it but I've actually seen it other than that according to the news crazy nice like it happened over the weekend if you believe well what's it is crazy when the earthquake hit San Francisco earthquake barbar saved all those people until getting murdered alright well we should wrap this up thank you for watching you guys again next week love you