#398 - The Spooky Hand Towel

Join Blaine Gibson, Chris Demarais, Miles Luna, and Barbara Dunkelman as they discuss drinking excessively, pranks, sex in strange places, and more on this week's RT Podcast! This episode originally aired on October 17, 2016, sponsored by NatureBox (http://bit.ly/2ep8Dkq), Ring (http://bit.ly/2efWrSG), Squarespace (http://bit.ly/1w4FOLf)

Link: http://roosterteeth.com/episode/rt-podcast-2016-398

Recorded: 2016-10-18 15:35:18

Runtime: 01:39:21 (5961.77 seconds)

Participants: Chris Demarais, Barbara Dunkelman, Blaine Gibson, Miles Luna

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Audio:

Transcript (in progress):

LOL I mean I watch this all the time new podcast this episode is brought to you by Nature Box Rin and squarespac thank you sponsors was talking about you later on in the episode I am barbar hello where you just went out of order and I started the show so I oh Chris I'm Blain pictures that actually I was not set up yet this is I think he just returned from Korea yes which really cool story he and his wife's family has not been back to Korea for like 20 years or longer maybe so but yeah he said that like every place I was like completely different than 697 South yes Chris just check it out and give me DMV well that's what I don't have demilitarization Zone okay okay I just saw the line where they're like no shooting remember Roseman of theorem is it I don't know it was the worst of the movies I feel bad because I feel bad Bond movie was good who is the Gold Bond how do Co barbar Bond movie Bond Bond stare directly into camera I hope not that's why we never reach that day privacy reasons this I'm like struggling writer I apologize in advance for the coffee I had strep throat and a virus has you why you wanted to switch chairs with me I don't know talking about so I gotta go back to your comic on which was great thank you everybody that came up to you and your comic on holy shit yeah but I can come back and was feeling kinda poopy Tuesday more like I woke up at like 5 a.m. on Tuesday coughing up I was way too busy and I was calling just gross so you know send an email to Mike I think I might have something I'm not I'm not coming in today but I worked stop and carry merely responded to smoke and go to the fucking doctor because I'm an asshole that's like my immune system will take care of this really stupid and lazy I feel like there's like the whole like guys will never ask for directions I never do this I feel like that's the one like masculine stereotype that applies to me is that like if I'm sick I'll be like I'll be over there today I'll be fine even if it's like a cold so I normally don't what I would do before someone can not have people coming in to go to the fucking doctor forget what it is so I want to sound like rediclinic right around the corner and I went in and the lady was like okay we don't have test run some tests and I know she's making. I'm pretty sure it's a viral infection we're going to do the strep test just to be safe but probably not in time to check the touch like yeah your neck but my fever broke like Wednesday nights I think anyone she was like be safe to return to work on Friday you will not be contagious anymore and I have had a fever since Thursday parts for days and I'm not a rock and a hard place that's right I am if I cough alot Red Sox started like new drinking age tell you to go to the same way lol just like try to power through and kind of talking going on right now third of Animation was out last week while since he wasn't there for that what did you do what I told you like and it was just a really bad cold it wasn't the flu or strep or an infection but I was the only person sick and then all the sudden all these other people are sick it was like bring it back to New York no it was like 2 weeks before New York Comic Con give you if you walk through animation right now you will see hand sanitizer on every single row as we'd like Grandma just went out in like hand sanitizer everywhere vitamin C everywhere and we cannot get fucked right now they've they've been they've been busting their balls for the weekend probably shouldn't hang out in the bathroom like we do I walked into a Christian I just went to that I took a shower before the show if Chris and I did the Freak podcast pump workout before the gym and then we will take a shower so I took a shower and then he was taking a shower I was getting dressed from the shower and then we're having this conversation in the bathroom next door and then we're having this conversation I came in to poop but you were already in there we are well mine is in the shop we started making $1 mile Malibu because there's this moment Co or like all of us were like what are you on the podcast Jon kaiman .5 months old now hanging out in the bathroom and poop and I'm going in the shower I'll get you over and peered in on me to pull up to the side like a champ no I wasn't looking at it with the eyes like the cleavage test you know it's like a woman shows up in a low-cut dress and you know I can make a knife something like I look at Blain the eyes of his dick is that I'm being a gentleman tell just by chance I just get aroused when I see a man who has shit coming out of his ass was looking at me in the eye it's got a weird place you're an accessory to that should tell you something recently short so it was to the Beer Olympics I think yeah and like you're just like I could tell her was looking at my dick will not wear dresses like different countries and I think for whatever reason we got bored or it wasn't a good night you didn't for whatever reason I picked so anyways I show up and I had a red light really tight red shirt and he's like Sophie women's shorts and I didn't wear underwear underneath and I come down and barbar and Aaron are both just like really look and then I was just like I just called because I was just going nothing like a woman with huge tits not wearing a bra well it looks like it wasn't with a woman with moderate sized boobs average size average 56 cups but you know like as soon as I got outside I was like I put my foot on the table like Mile in someone's face is like so glad we just got the same table we should destroy it we can do it this weekend so I'm not going to say who it was but I went through I already know this weekend in a party which is not my forte. I just remember the rock band so I don't like singing and I also don't like being sober while other people are saying so I the first off question why were you sober I was like why yeah his reasons so I'll drive out there and I decide to show up fashionably late you know cuz like I don't show up on time and was over there so show up like an hour hour-and-a-half late that was a mistake because as soon as I got there everybody is fucking wasted already and I walk into this room and there's like 10 12 people just like fucking Piano Man or something like that and I just like to sit down in a chair just like I was just dying inside so this girl came up and she was wasted and that yes kind of she doesn't work here no no we are with our own private room so the girl walks up and she sits down and I was like I'm really knew what was going on there like she starts like touching up on me and I was like yeah is there a place I could smell her breath so I am leaving I'm going to tell her cuz he's there and he's also kind of over so like 1.8 turn back and she's like I'm never getting fucked with your friends like it so the night goes on there was no drinking and having a great time with me and said girl starts vomiting and I was already by the playlist thing taking out the next song and it looked back and then I picked Adele's hello to be truly tragic song and I was like laughing with tears in my eyes hello sad but so funny the same time you don't have to tell every detail of my night okay the piano came in Halo 4 I think I'm the other chairs absorbent open at like you know one of these chairs that you want to throw up on now I'm working on the stairs pretty well edit existing them everybody saw one like that one Sama episode why was there and yeah I remember everybody saw the episode of me getting blackout drunk tell everyone what mile set the Blain now while they're trying to keep you quiet I said it would be okay so we are we going to talk about this basically we feel and are so getting blackout drunk I talked about it we talked about it on the phone or something but I got drunk and we might really said we're still deciding I got blackout drunk like that drunk is Herbalife in miles was like my father I hung out a little extra time after work because I heard what was happening what you guys are feeling 1 in the morning taking care of you taking care of you and trying to keep Ashley from punching people it was a shitshow I wasn't that bad you were pretty Rowdy Chris Christie you're an enabler Blain was on the table white guy talking trash can underneath them horribly in a bad place and you fucken barge and what is in the Caribbean but I don't know how the fuck you gotta go give them I never liked no heat chicken animators desk and we had to pull you and sit you down and I had it I had to hide my God Chris I know it was that it was that you were taking desks the complete opposite and then when Dora hugging you I have you talked to Greg about Star Wars for about half-an-hour you are reporting that Kyler our script supervisor who has long hair and is generally very quiet he came in to get coffee and you were like fucking a rampaging through the break room and you point them to go your hair I like it I grabbed him by the shoulders it's like you work so hard hugging him and Never Letting Go I learned just how much you trust me yeah I just see a lot it was the sweetest thing that I have ever seen it was one of the most touching moments I have ever had real Geisha no I was talking about so I was dealing with you what was that you were cheating death Chris you were walking around checking things that didn't belong to you for whatever reason I don't know why but I'm guessing Jessica hold you out of like our Stage 5 area and she's like I'm so sorry he's like kicking computers that you like them and we set you down on the couch in the break room and you realize she was like can you please watch him so I watched you and you and I got into a discussion about the importance of friendship my favorite part of the whole thing like weird we're just guessing that was like kind of borderline serious and you didn't really want to talk about if I could tell you wanted to talk about it so you set up you looking forward to what you want to talk about and um because you know what I was and I smiled and you know but but but you know what you said but you know what I'm saying about 7 times without me knowing anything it was incredibly was like it was like a fucking action figure that has like a line that he says first book in time I can't say I know what you're saying my favorite Chrysler parts of it says watching the raw footage online on our Network he was behind the scenes what it was and Blain sitting in the kitchen and I guess they were filming something with Chris in the broadcast area so they wanted you guys to be quiet and Blain kept yelling obviously I'm trying to be a fucking crazy guy and mile said to you alright alright pretend that it's Nazi Germany and were the Jews and then Blain red shoes it worked on me and then I saw that I was feeling then I went well plushie and York Denver the best water for me was when I knew what you were saying you can tell me that you're using and Ellie came over it was like mile Blain needs you I don't know what happened she was I don't know he just keeps saying he needs you and you what is a man York and you're hanging as soon as I left you started whispering Ln dong trust them how many days late and you just went to sleep I'm like incredibly incredibly paranoid so whenever I'm in a state of intoxication than the sword then I immediately latch on the person I'm closest with a big sign of our friendship I was my favorite part of that is my keychain has a Boba Fett action figure at the end of it and someone took my keys the beginning of the night because obviously but I didn't try to work I just wanted to take it just in case I got away they don't want me to be able to escape so they couldn't find my keys and apparently I was like the world that we finally finally got you in the car to drive to your apartment which I apologized because I remember we had to call you and Erin that was all the things I love about him and then I called the bank and then he was all like oh well are they trying to reach me or you and I was like well you so call him I felt terrible cause I care and I just got back from some trip and we knew that he's going to hang out with you that night we were drunk off their shit out of her but yet we were just like we can't leave you in your state so like Aaron hung out with you or something all night after we took you to your apartment and then realized that both with it was still back in the office I had to drive all the way back get your keys bring them back I remember 310 hour so I remember the next like to 5 hours are just gone from what I hear from Aaron getting me up the stairs and walking me like a parent Lee I was just completely but I do like it and I was hitting every wall the long hallway vs so I wake up and I'm sitting up in the chair and I wake up and all the fuck am I and I'm still really drunk at this point so I get up and I start to recognize you say okay this is there an apartment so I walk into Aarons bedroom and I just like stare at him and I'm like in my head I'm like I don't know that I'm okay I had a good friend for taking me and I'm like thinking about this and then Aaron wakes up Alright you're a good friend like I would I remember as a kid I'd wake up from a because I guess that's what my child bring that I need to do whenever so just like to stand there and I'm sure that's not just a child are you I don't know I wasn't so what did you think I was like you cautiously went in like I should I don't to wake them up yeah yeah I didn't want to let you know now well you could have if you had nature box maybe a lot of us and we want to make healthier eat chips cookies and junk avoid the guilt with better snacks NatureBox delivers tasty snacks made with simple ingredients right to your door so you always have something better to snack on without feeling guilty they have over 100 delicious snacks to choose from ranging from healthy to indulge in all with no artificial colors flavors or sweeteners my personal favorites are the dried mango and the Honey Dijon pretzels delicious right now there's your box is offering you two free snacks when you go to naturebo starbucks.com slash RoosterTeeth avoid the guilt and go to naturebox.com / we should take to get to delicious free snacks this offer won't last so get your snacks today that's nature box.com / RoosterTeeth 423 delicious stick it in your box hold drunk experience was a nightmare so how much I can talk about this but you know what the adults aren't here so I'm going okay this is not that was not the first time I witnessed just how poorly this company handles alcohol are we allowed to broadcast is laughing right yeah you were I saw you and I saw everyone that's all the glass hopefully so for those you don't know Red vs. blue season 14 official end of the day thank you everybody that everybody that are producers 4 hours long is the longest season Red vs Blue ever I think so and it was that that season in and of itself was 16 different shows because of all the different people we worked with the different pipeline that we have to deal with like you guys did to you sweetie it was it was it was Co and asked me can we never do this again that's it was crazy and you know some people like it some people didn't what up it was supposed to be another episode that never got married in oh they're going to do something with it that's part of the reason I'm telling a story so that Bernie sticks to his word and when this shit yeah I'm calling you at 4 and I was confused as to what was happening I knew that they were filming something at the studio and I drop someone off back to the studio after dinner here and I saw his car in the parking lot and I was like what are they doing here so I came to the office and Wes I think it's okay if you've already done so there was a brilliant idea Bernie had an idea for an episode he had already contributed the season with his the to the enemy to be so we started with what you have another idea and that idea was hey miles I want to get the original Blood Gulch crew together I want to get them shit-faced drunk and I want to see if they can record episode two from memory with props he wanted me to be there too problem is a narrator and be a resident Vic and they all receive scripts that said like it was the first half of the scene and then from that point with a light source gives Griffin Simmons & Order Simmons reports with a joke that was the only one with an actual strep what do you think it's this to me he was already way over his deadline for what he was supposed to go pressure and I said Bernie I think that's a terrible idea or has the potential to be terrible and if that's really funny I was like I think I really want to do it and I'm glad you don't have any friends that's all right so we did it and Jeff was there and guess who was there and Jason was there and that was there and Britney was there and I was there in the corner like puking out delivery and a half hours of drinking before recording he scheduled it and there we have cameras all the cameras on this never was cool with it so all the broadcast right now is smiling right that was the sloppiest thing I've ever seen in my entire life I tweet pictures out about it there was broken glass how many glasses are broken does anyone remember Six Flags is broken 4 bottles are broken I have a video it's just the end of Jeff throwing a full bottle of Jack Daniels at me so it wasn't because I realized there was no big fight or anything bad happen I thought it was one of the most incredible things I've seen a bunch of friends who have each been doing their own like incredible things busy in their own world sitting down just to chill and drink for the first time like Jeff was like I haven't hung out with you in X number of years and it was it started off kind of like and then it got like a really real particularly not how I would describe it was trying to have a moment for about 40 minutes getting into but it was it was cool I got really emotional one point it was really fucking funny we learn about Secrets but my fucking god that things fell apart quickly I only showed up after everyone was drunk so it was probably around like 9 o'clock if I start at 7 I think so like 9 930 and I walk in and sees Migos motioning for me and just turns red when he sees me and that's like get over here and then brings like a bar get over here and I'm like well shit 2 out of 3 so I walk over and I little chairs and there's no other chairs next time some kneeling and he put his arm around me and it goes AB story to tell and he's holding me by the shoulders New York Jeff remember that one time you called me and we are talking about this thing you didn't know who I was and he's just walking me back and forth the whole time he told the story about Jeff to Jeff but not at all comfortable but maybe he has something to tell me you're telling me you did you did you see what happened to Chelsea I got there just after that so you were such as Chelsea to Chelsea on the sides and Madison New York Chelsea the same thing Chelsea and I feel like you missed me like I was like oh my God he's about to get real heart-to-heart right now and he looks to Bernie and Jeff and he's like 14 years 14 years is crazy this is crazy what the fuck you have Chelsea Rin just let me search for about 20 minutes and then Jessica the fox say while sitting right next to you movie theater Chelsea Chelsea you are and she knows What's your deal thought it was it was it was a beautiful the best way I can describe it was a beautiful good guys trying to leave then yeah there's a whole thing I don't want to so essentially after all of us everybody has left shift with his chair and love Jason disappeared just left it was broken everywhere and Brittney just looks to me he goes mile what what did you tell me when I push this idea he said it was a terrible idea I got it I have never been more right and so the next the next week we get we told him we were like yo dude you said you're going to give us an episode where you going to do and we gave him a week to sift through all the footage and he came back like tail between his legs I can't get anything out of it I can't I'm sorry but he did say that he doesn't want to release some version of what broadcast recorded that night because I cook so many moments in there that a fan of rooster teeth with love I cried for a lot of that cuz it was freaking me out because like so nostalgic and just there's so many great moments and great things that happened that it's too good not to release in some capacity it felt really special being there like I was a fan of what those guys did and what they bill I was like unbelievably moved so it's like it was going on and on about you if you like when I met you I figured you were and I was like I spent a lot of that just like hiding my tears behind the strep it was it was a really beautiful I'll be at destructive evening and yeah he does want some point like your first number is something I don't know but now you have to do it I'm going to make you fucking stick to your words burn fired but now I think I do really think it was beautiful and hilarious and then we had to throw out the carpet because of that did you really so here's to you guys I just broadcast and they said thanks again thanks everybody to watch season 14 I got my remember when we were together but I need my fucking red vs blue converse 2011 them today because if you think about it this season which store will feature Barbies going to be crazy as to how it all happens again we'll see season 15 is coming don't worry it was one of the greatest was the first convention I ever went to Wayne Gretzky's like I like my version do you like a puppy that was great what you mean Marshall Kathleen who else was in there what is there the Just Dance Just Dance then there was I just remember like I've never been in an atmosphere like that before I think I took a picture of every single possible about Mario Mario fucking love connection is amazing also I remember we were so tired and Delirious when it because that was back when we like this way for a really long time where the people going to work the booth also set up the booth sold the merchandise and then cleaned up and packed up the boots that way up until like 2 years ago yeah I was still around so we were all delirious and exhausted we were in the lobby of our hotel and it was me mile is Marshall and Joe who was helping out with the booze and the Community member men in Toronto and we were just sitting around in a circle not talking just making faces at each other and laughing so hard Until We Cried like a lot of this why because you were tired funny man it was just funny you bring those go to Lake Weir Place is going to be really fucking tired everything is funny hey you had a yes we can possibly get a soldier 76 thanks for helping his dad so what are you guys doing for I realize I had a big like costumes what was 21 I think I had sex Marquee where were you Alexander like I just had a long flowy dress on and I hope you're okay so what did you specifically Clark Kent with the open shirt sport was like this is just at the office at 2:40 at Jackson Park probably imagine you going on so whatever you know I'm just in my head now he's like it's either Han Solo Uncharted Territory moorcroft I don't want to say I'm going to take that joint don't know why but I did see that you're better than that girl friends costume is she is rather Frosty got kicked out of somewhere the rainbow u.s. Radar Radar no really I haven't I was so happy I was so happy great costume but I just like it for some reason I was like oh I was surprised it was that was a great I had to like a nicer guy went around town like till like 3 different costume places and like order stuff online and I printed it and Photoshop the effort you put into it it was good I'm excited I'm like some kind of building it like I've got I've been having I didn't I just want to buy like a fully made 76 out of it and so I've got like I bought some big Batman boots I got the black cargo pants the black turtleneck did get the jacket but I'm also getting like his holster is like this the only thing I'm not going to have I don't have his big like cylindrical grenades and I'm not taking like Daddy like like like like 76 or something but I really like one piece red Cyclops glasses fucking excited in a long time and I put a lot of money and I had to like put together some the trash before spending a lot on them but it's just once a year did a lot of fun that being said you don't want to yet again Debbie said you don't want to go like to over the top with like makeup or whatever because I did go one year it was the first year that had like six pack abs and I was like I hate myself I'm going to be Incredible Hulk because like for once in my goddamn life I was attractive and all the girls are like up lately though he's a person now dance with anybody I basically stood in a corner people of color for a house like now I'm going to pay all the girls like he's angry you wouldn't like him but I couldn't interact with humans Korean walking green paint in my house are there the pain in myself you have not comic though it's a pain in the dick because I remember I found hanging today pain in my back just in your girl body paint is like it up there with glitter glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. You just can't get rid of it he was kind enough to send me a costume that she had made that like I complimented her on it and she's like do you want and I'll send you that is so sweet and so is she sent it to me and I feel excited I brought it home and open the box and I start taking pieces out not realizing that the entire costume was covered in glitter and feel like my entire bedroom is like sparkly not just because it was just a good friend and we got to hang out with her and her boyfriend and their the weirdest couple like I thought the fucking shit oh my God Joker amazing yeah like we went and got like yeah we got drunk and stuff like that another fucking great and she does that she's like hey you want to call Sonic out of his vehicle she sent me like a spring fairy costume and she said that she's going to work on like a fall Faerie and we could do a shoot together so kind of like I would die because I look up to her so much she's an incredible cause player and she's beautiful and funny and I'm just like I want to be my friend trying to get her in another Rooster Teeth Productions that isn't really yeah I'm working on that really hard what's the weather like next to me at all times okay like if we could just feel like hugging and stuff I mean you probably tired so did you know that we were also a Pax Wes and I had a weird thing happened to me at Pax I told her that I think I talked about this on the main stage on the thing that's not sponsor play anymore we have anything for it I'll come up there so I can't tell if a guy was trying to mug me or not she's a kite I gave myself a room I was in I was in Seattle for like a week because I have a meeting with Microsoft Pax and then another meeting with my boss I was there it was like the longest I've been away for a work-related trip was great I love Seattle holy shit Seattle like what time does work on Everything music Whitney Co and like we never left this house I just go get coffee and food in the other time I was literally there go to Microsoft look at he looks around and come back so I never did and I never said never look so proper so I gave myself a rule I said I'm not going to make any plans I will and I will say yes to anything that somebody asked me to do so like if I woke up in the morning and nobody text me about doing anything I was just going to walk around town and just see what happened it was one of the best times I've ever had a convention end up like the first day I walked around I found an art museum like I'd like to buy a ticket please me when it's free when I would new Museum then I found out anyway I really look new alright so I'm definitely one of those big tirade about how otters rape to and she would not shut up about yeah they do but it would be there really apparently they do and then she wouldn't shut up she like to see the other so I can prove to you that the evil rapist what they require they were fucking told you I told you but then we stopped and a cuddle buddy there's nothing worse than having a shower and then showing of the otter exhibit and seeing them staying and anyway so one morning I decide to go to the Pikes Place Market I got a really early walk there had a great time with super cool got some pierogies are never easy the fish I did see it and I was walking back and I went down like shady Street and this dude like he's crossing the street making a beeline for me and a hoodie and look stupid to shovel and I'm like all right this guy's probably ask me for money or whatever I was like excuse me so the other day I was really last night I'm so sorry I feel terrible I need money to catch the bus but all got a cell is this not think you can help me any website a knife and I'm not sorry only credit card Ouija I gotta put some weird emphasis on some words in them the money now right the street but I remember things like he was trying to like me that's all you get like friend-zoned you just need to make sure you don't make what you want very clear for me yeah that was just saying it's like I wasn't I wasn't trying to mock him that's what I was trying to sell him mine now that's my thinking is that I like but this time the cops were doing I never once did that yeah I never once was ugly and I was one of my nice but it was easy though because I walked away with a skip in my step what is she going to die would you like to know what do you think he would have said it to check a bag mile very nice what do you think you would have said probably when he took that as well he probably just probably I have no idea well for whatever reason to come down there and I was little and we had spaghetti Warehouse forgetting ring.. Thanks for sponsoring this episode of the RT Podcast there's a home burglary occurring every 13 seconds and most happen in broad daylight the ring video doorbell has been proven to stop burglaries before they happen by allowing you to see and speak to anyone approaching your door using your smartphone now a ring is using their Advanced motion detection technology to protect your entire property with the Ring of security kit the kit includes a ring video doorbell from for the front door and a ring stick up cam the wireless weatherproof HD camera to keep an eye on other parts of property for a limited time listeners of Your Teeth podcast get up to $150 off a ring of security kit go to ring.com slash RoosterTeeth join the millions of homeowners to protect their home with Rango 2 Rin.com / May 30th for up to $150 off York it that's Rin.com / Rooster Teeth Rin and Rin if I had adorable I would love to use one of those I am so paranoid about people knocking on my door I never answered I in college when I was in the dorm I built the doorbell it was so worth it of my college experience what is so so so it's like you can order like you can buy at Like Home Depot doorbell parts and so like me and my roommate would be really cool be the only dorm room with the door bell so we like the dorms you live in just a little red button and then it was just like sleeping at night what is drunk people when Rocky was going to look for member we had a doorbell at 636 haha that we used to fuck with Cara doorbell yeah I know I figured out I think was Marshall figure out there was a remote to ring the doorbell and to make something upstairs the time came up stairs and ring the doorbell should I cook bacon at Jessica Jessica Jessica fuck with her oh my God there's a we realized at my house over in Ottawa the doorbell rings the sensor that's in the basement so you could hear the basement door bell so if you're not upstairs you could hear it we realized there's a frequency you can make with your own voice to set off the sensor it was really like we would play with it all the time we'd be at the kitchen would be like the basement yeah it was great your ding dong ditching your kids maybe once or twice I don't know it's one of those lame pranks like do all this stuff like perfect for pushing over no but this shit was in the porta potty like who did you do it to basically every Construction horseshit literally no like I probably why what is there at Allen Texas okay that's why that's why it's a blessing that you didn't succumb to hard drugs okay yeah that's what I thought anybody that grew up in like a small town is normally either like oh yeah I did some fucked up shit back in the day or they just like had sex with a bunch of it it's like it's summer and I was not having sex there's some dude who just has to clean up people shit I'm not thinking about that generating jobs for the market did you ever do it with someone inside oh no no no I'm not you're a little too well there was this one time though where my friend had a crush on this girl and he was like we should do dong theater we are we try that you never respond to her house we parked his car like 3 blocks down like planning it all out stuff like that ding dong ditch and run away with it in some bushes across the street and we like your dad comes out like doing things you know like 5 minutes and then window curtain like those Wednesdays he's no longer watching to run for us and we do it again it was like we run instead of going back to that spot we don't want to risk it we just ran back to his car and his car like man that was great we looked over he was someone was knocking on his window with a bat and was not fucking dad and would like my wife is a nurse she has to get up at 5 a.m. every morning and you fucking kids Korean like God damn door bell and we're just like you know like eyes are saucers it was just the thing I do not like really beat and good friends with that girl and I help them move out of their house because I felt so bad about it didn't hurt that every time I saw him that was like 2 a.m. LOL yeah you assholes in high school I am I told the story before I don't know if I have stopped me there was meanest girl we are like driving around okay let's go to the park and like hang out there like in my car parked and then we'll like making out doing you know you haven't said no because at some point the light comes up so she said was like a flashlight in the window and this cop comes up and and it's like you don't do that anymore anything yeah yeah okay you just so you know that the park closes at 10 you guys need to leave and when I could just talking talking is like don't make me call your parents and then I might go somewhere else and we're like I'm in a continuing doing whatever we're doing and the we know when they start to get a little steamy and then on it flashlight cover world and with the same car same company ghost all the parks are closed I need to leave I'm sure he done I'm a cockblock the shit out of this kid I like is when your kids you don't have anywhere to go so you can do it in your car yet so like I used to have a lot of experience like that but there was this one time and I'm not going to say who's car it was was just saying I was borrowing a car but you wasn't so worried about I'm not going to be specifically it was there was and ice and snow and a lady and I did things inside the window steamed up why didn't want that person's car that I bought it I didn't want them to know so I can stop going out to Walmart and buying Windex and paper towels to clean out the windows but what were you he was like steam everywhere and then like you try to get rid of the kids like it was like sticking their the client station it was like dripping down your leg did you I can take against the window a mushroom stamp you know but I just like mr. wolf from Pulp Fiction but like I like weird through it thoroughly cleaned up the car to make sure no trace of what what's a good heart rate for about it it wasn't it since I have never been more suspicious I'm trying to go to remember no I don't think so so you brought up he brought up an interesting thing was like when you're a kid if you new relationship and do something like you want to suck some face or whatever you got you got to find places to find places to do that where is the most inappropriate place you ever fooled around a site from school what's an elementary holy shit story but no it was like very obviously one of those feel that you go to get murdered in like we had sorry what we drove off of one another and then passed a sign that says do not enter and park the monks trees we were covering our tracks to add and it was the the scariest boner I've ever had bucking axe on the back or something it was exhilarating just went for it in high school or just red as an adult UT Library UT Library what you doing the library at 6 where are you no we just love you she just like I said she had it and now it's just like into a physical server room or something and then just so they're like computers and Chip Rin study rooms duration it was there no no not not about it but I'm like all if I'm I'm just about having sex so if it's like in public then I'll go I'll go and you don't like it can I ask was it a yellow just can't find a place was it you started out like exclusively or was it kind of horny right now I think it was a mix between it was like hey let's go we are out and about and doing wandering around it's okay let's go find a place and then we wondered in the library with the intent of finding a place one of those things patina MN parking garage downtown and I was just one of those like you know my name I don't think I talked about this before fuck my parents are living with my parents was going to my parents and I had to use the internet I got head to Chicken Little what wait what high school and we need a place to go for a ride so we got we bought tickets to the 11:30 p.m. screening at 6 a.m. p.m. p.m. surely be watching Chicken Little wild well hello there was one elderly couple on the front of the the people at you like they can't hear more about 1:04 I can't get a boner when you watch them Jack and Jill DM can't even enjoy it because the moo Hilton CDG barbar Beretta have the way what I want to know high school we were guests at his cousin's wedding and his cousin asked him to go put something away in the bridal suite for him and I went with him and we had sex in the bridal Suite of someone else's wedding one day we christened their barbar the cheers to you back so I know I only said that shut the fuck up Enterprise dresser and white holy shit yeah we had to remake the bed and she didn't take the covers off or anything but when you move around enough can get it so it's not time yet we're going to draw this one as long as there are there was this one time and I'm not going to say what school or School District that was but there was this one time where me and my friend Brittney called and Jay really really bored and at this specific school there's a radio tower that they built next to the school so you could hop the fence climb up the radio tower and hop on the roofing to be on the roof of the school that's great you know we walked over fucking great no we didn't have sex we walked over we look down there like the skylights in school down there you know that the three schools we have three schools Port Allen nothing to do during you get on top of buildings red lights and there was like there was a building I remember in high-school that people are like oh yeah just go on top of that building downtown it was like nothing try to see The Horizon where you can escape to it was like I'm try to get us more time with you have a Dairy Queen every town has a very good have a Sonic driving okay those are the only like those the only two things that exist in small towns climb and you climb things so they had just built a new cross walk over to the gymnasium so that you may see amazing as always taller than the school has always liked the school's already was for the school so we gotta run across the crosswalk we were able to get on top of the gymnasium School the surgeon think you could do that because they left these fire escape entrance thing open because we went over to Italy only can get inside of the gymnasium so we go down and you know we walked in a couple stairs in Long the hold we're in this like basketball court for the school what's TPS so we went into the bathroom we took my paper towels and whole different way just like fucking just everywhere everywhere and while we're doing this I look up and there's a blinking red light on it in and I was like you were referring to each other reason comic Jessica were actually referring to each other as code words New Orleans roof climb down there's a sprinkler system on top of the school because that's how they know the fires and stuff like that I feel like the building on fire the pitch-black night J the sprinkler and just play it was like laughing but also terrified and we just like got the fuck out of there anything ever happen no you're fine you didn't take it in that apartment playground for that perfect casting for Nerf you son of a bitch doing it the kids at the library on fire and took a shit what is a single laugh from Patrick and broadcasting in college I had one of my girlfriends I lived in Mizzou and Missouri and her roommate was dating this guy who was like crazy like just crazy like crazy like Maniac crazy crazy friends on the news there's a security camera for the library on fire and sit on the desks like all the desks golfer sitting on a library and then setting it on fire barbar Nepal the thing is he got really upset in his case in this criminal case because they didn't keep the shit and he was like that's my that's how I prove I'm innocent because they didn't keep the shit there's DNA evidence of me that's not my shit I was like I don't know where there's a there's like security camera footage of him in the library just leaving little Hershey Kisses did he have any the hate I mean I was just fucking crazy I mean what motivation could you possibly do you know what I'm going to go sit in the library instead school or someone like the library I talked to some men like to watch the world burn by quite literally watch the world burn yeah it's scary when you think about crazy people in this world is a crazy person Madonna on David Letterman I think I feel like you guys should have more serious because I feel like it's a stereotype that like there are more crazy women in the world than crazy about that that's not true when you're dating people you might like some crazy I have a short this is not my story but I trust you to tell him so I got a friend of mine was matched with this guy on Tinder and she was like I don't really know because he's not really my type he's like the guy who's like you know got hunting pictures like you know like him like with a gun like weird or whatever and she like but you know I think you just gave me her number and called her and and she was like hello and she's like hey how you doing anything she's a good kid and he's like so you're from California right and she goes yeah that mean you're happy and she's like no no I don't what do you mean it's like well tell me this you smoke weed and she was like I mean sometimes I don't know whatever and she's like that she's like well I think a woman who smokes marijuana is very unattractive and then she was like I'm sorry that sucks for you and then and then he was like alright well are you a racist like no and then it was like a long pause and she was I don't think we have anything, and then hung up on her like you don't think she would have been able to but I don't know yeah I don't think I think he called her like pretty soon after giving phone number yeah it doesn't take long I guess it's like it was Blain funny dating stories because I haven't dated a lot of people I think people are tired of me telling my dating stories they have another evidence or I don't it's more not a dating story straight sides every story besides that it's pretty much all my stories barbar I wish I was out and there was like this really cute girl and she was with the whole night she was like talking to these two guys and the others to guys like competing for this one girl and I'm like I'm not even going to like I'm going to throw my hat into the ring and then I'm like at some point it kind of naturally kind of bump into them and then I'm talking and I'm like oh I realize the two guys that were there they were two gay guys with this girl on my phone call this is like this is like to changes and I'm like okay cool and I like talking with him hanging out for them bitter and and then and then okay we're going to say we're going to head out there leaving the bar and I'm like well you know we should like meet up later or something some like those cute girly and and I am drop like talking like in my effort to like try and figure out how to meet up with them end up like just getting the number for one of the kids and then I was like and I'm like so then I get his number and I'm like alright I'm going to send you a text right now so then we meet I'm in my head I'm like yes I'll meet up with them and I'll talk to her all night and I'm walking away mile away that's not exactly what I was intending to do it all been with them I don't know but it was no because it ended up that thing where it felt like I was having connection with this guy when I was really trying to just like you just say when did not go as planned that was exactly as planned there's one thing that you and I were at Barbarella like ages ago and I remember we were both just kind of like sitting there having drinks on the side the dance floor and we see this really beautiful girl dancing with like a couple times and you're like oh yeah she's hot as a guy the entire time and it should look at me if you would look at me while she's dancing with you and I was like and then gyrating like a drunk idiot she walks over to me and like I am book Carlos and then she pulls away and I was like yeah so what's your name and she walks away she disappeared he literally had to leave that's right she's the one that got away holy shit that was that was his future wife and that's how I Met Your Mother one last thing go for it disappointed I know I'm sorry guys what's the four squares that sound like Chris York was asked where in that space you Wes it was this episode of the podcast is brought to you by squarespac with Squarespace site so professionally designed regardless of your skill level there's no coding required they offer intuitive and easy-to-use tools to help you along the way and you get a free domain name if you sign up for a year start your free trial site today at squarespace.com / reach your teeth when you decide to sign up for Squarespace make sure you use the offer code RoosterTeeth to get 10% off your first purchase Squarespace beautiful squarespac when I was back in school for marketing one of our assignments was to create a electronic resume and portfolio so use Squarespace to like make a whole website about myself and put my resume out there electronic we are living in the digital age I was just weird and I don't know how girls wear them because it's like a constant where that other thing yeah that's what I was at AFF this weekend and they were someone I bumped into in line and she was looking for she was like oh hey you look really familiar like yeah you look gross and then realized she was on a short and which I was naked it's nothing that we've released turned into Blain before this up up up up up up again and so and so I was like oh yeah and she was like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't know whatever so one day I was in the gym the gym and then like fuck is going on question if you shoot yourself feeling that was like something was just in my ass and I was like oh I actually put on my dildo Queen everything's fine so then I can just like the rest of the day and I like do my workout and then I got home the fuck is going on so I'm going to the bathroom so like I said but you don't even feel it really yes there's literally no other woman who is honest so here maybe not I just well I kind of like part of you thoughts thank you part of me wants to like those who like you walking in your shoes I'll see what it's like but I don't want to wear a thong for a day that's weird I will do it if you do it and you do it you guys have a whole nother bigger or something if you want to answer about the same as it was yeah I've got them things my dick with an erection I don't close the door but it's great I've opened doors with it I've done worse you say things like that sometimes just having a penis is just like you just like you can close this article because I wanted to bed is like could you wake up I need you to take a moment to imagine a world where somebody writes an educational sex article but they don't want to use actual terminology so I take your hand and put it in her Co it was putting a towel over and then doing kegels while you're correct I've never felt this close to you since I got blackout drunk and I still have my house and I won't download it acculab that was it and it was like you would like to remind you to York is that time of day do York Eagles and I only had downloaded in the night like I'm downloading for a week even feel like I'm in stopping the flow mile probably all doing them right now the teacher was also and then like I was looking around and there's a good look at concentration of everyone say never concentrated that hard last night was like everyone's doing kegels right now I would like Iruna I was on I was like waiting for a plane to take off and I was and I was always I was flying with a backhander and I'll let you know like my Outlook on my phone and then like the Google thing popped off and I'm like I do my kegels and I was telling as I can he's like no I just got on the plane and you're talking way too loud makes you last longer that's like some benefits to it and it like help strengthen vaginal floor like a muscle that makes it makes your orgasms what makes squeeze tighter around the penis hey bro can you spot me guided new University one of the gym that I go to I remember substitutions now and one of them the Skyrim how to control over talking I was like to talk about the Bouldering Gym Boulder interview like it's great it works for arms and stuff like that like really good form string and look at me like give me this weird-looking is like the only exercise that I need to work my forearms jerking off he's like I'll see you later and I was like I know his name I know his name but like I've interacted with in like 10 minutes in my life and he thinks it weird I'm sorry that's what it felt like I'm sorry man dryer sheets in the ass okay but then the reason why women have to wear thongs so much or some of them do at least because women have tight pants and he wear underwear you could see the line and it kind of cut your ass in half and give you like that weird like flat bulgy thing I didn't sometimes that's why I was the one thing I wear tighter pants that's why I either go athletic like words like a really tight before you know what you wear no underwear with jeans sometimes really quality of life did not change at all what if you would have an erection my quality of life is insane just like I don't even know I would Rin Quality Inn going commando as a woman is very weird just doesn't it just it's very weird having balls enough to go commando wearing a skirt long skirt short ding you're okay I don't know what's the wind it feels quite nice I'm sure does Breezy about people wearing kilts on time whatever like this fucking it's just nice like the winds blowing up all crevices and like a lot and I was around a girl the one who is going commando in a skirt on a first date did you did she tell you or did you ask her or did you the specific why not barbar you get your Blu bold with your approach going to come off as very skittish what happened Chris tell me if your friend know you don't like hanging out or something and there was a moment of her like she just said something like and I was like I hit my head was like not wearing underwear hurt your head and then and then later she mentioned she was like oh I'm not wearing underwear and I was like did you marry her but it like I know you the way that you just fucking stumble to that story that is not at all how it went down you fucking liar I'm calling you out you guys hooked 33 Jessica stuff like that she at some point opened up her legs and did the whole what is it what's the Sudden Impact or whatever what's the movie worksheet Lethal Weapon known in the Titanic basic against the basic instinc Where She Went that's what I thought would happen if the police believe ding Jessica anything this is a very recent date the crazy girl that York don't have really dated a crazy girl I dated several crazy girls but this one this one Takes the Cake this was one that she was one of the reasons I stopped using Tinder I don't know so after Aaron and I separated when our separate ways and I went through a phase like to try to new thing great for your self-confidence by the way because every single time you get mad you go that person thinks it's gross I didn't need a bunch of legitimately very cool people on Tinder except for this person let's call her collar Belle the belle of the ball YouTube easy Bell start of great repore was fun I love I love being able to have like little witty text conversations we will have all of that text I'm a huge flirt yeah she's great first date hit it off but I'll never forget I've never felt more bold in my life I've never once tried this like I hadn't been on that many candidates but I just felt right if I was a great first date I'll never forget like how to drink I was like hey you want to get out of here and she's like I would love that I was like great awesome time Pax yes great time thank you please say that so I need to clear inner core so important bell pepper state was I like I feel like I got the part I was like how many times I know I want to make my intentions clear I know you know I just got out of a very serious thing not quite ready for another very serious thing but you seem cool and you're done with this you know just need some casual fun that's cool if not that's totally fine everybody about that I'm not asking about that I just want you to know like me another week or two and then she was like it's Friday night you fucking fuck party 2015 whatever you like the title is something to which I went I would love to take part in that and I'm like okay cool and we were I remember we're going to make like we're gonna make it or not like we're going to have my PJs we're going to watch some movies too we got some drinks because it was it was she was literally like let's hang out like all night okay it'll be like sounds like fun the really really good time so my apartment we're making out and so just a few times prior to this where like you slightly weird things that happened on Yellow cards but she kept talking about her friend however I like he's known for years he's like a brother to her she don't count on this right now and then every now and then she like like you but yeah you're cool but she said she was reassuring herself I don't know why but it's something about what you said it over there those Clint Eastwood Donald Trump Littlest Pet Shop making out and she says I really like you and I was like yeah I like you this is one other thing she mentioned that she was about to move feel like there's things that isn't that far away but she was like should I like you alot maybe we can continue this thing when I move to San Antonio and I went Maybe and then she stopped smiling and she like maybe red eye well I'm sorry I just want to make it like we're still this is just the kind of thing right and she goes oh yeah that was the first red the perky sexy and I was like okay and I'll never forget that moment I thought back to something that both you and Brittany told me that you gave me advice when I reentered the dating scene which was Miles here's how you can tell if a girl's crazy if she says some sort of weird out there hilarious joke you need to laugh and go crazy and if she responds with no I'm not she's fucking crazy I just thought about that she's like so where were we and I was Dumb and a little intoxicated was like we were making out that's where things are great she like changed into PJ's afterwards or I like put The Bagel Bites in the oven pulling out everything's great and then I know she's been a little quiet I say hey is everything cool she said my couch and she turns to me and she says you're a selfish dick head and I was like excuse me I mean you are but I was like this I like it came out of nowhere was like you're so full of yourself what I do so nothing but I mean this is just casual right I was like and I was like super awkward because I admittedly I have never done casual like it's so hot it's it's like it always seem like relationship to relationship new territory so I'm already like this and she goes I'm like what did I do to make sure I can just read your body language Jenna Miller not funny so I was like I don't know how to say was I'm sorry you feel that way clearly I did something wrong I guess you should probably go and she was like yeah I guess so and she like got up and fucking like a snack the fucking Bagel Bites like on the floor mile I feel like I'm in that moment my brain when you drove her here you gotta go she says yeah I'm just going to call an Uber just began the longest 10 minutes of my entire life I'm an idiot like any sane person like you can fucking wait on the curb but I was standing there with my fucking like bites all over the floor so I can get them up no no no miles of that moment decided to go what to do if a post-mortem on this thing to find out what went wrong okay can you please explain to me what has happened to you is out what is happening we would never work like I thought this was a casual thing as I can she likes you and she's like she's like please you wouldn't make it fucking Bagel Bites or something or just casual with everything like anybody very much I'm sorry I don't know I'm getting off at 5 I don't know I'm sorry I'm new to this like what the fuck she turns away and she's like love is bullshit my dad where is the the instance I don't think where's it coming from but I'm awkward as fuck it was like okay and she hasn't but I love Ryan but at this point might you might as well be a fucking therapy session like I love Ryan we've always loved each other we're going to be together I don't but you know I know what to do with you there's some I feel like it's just it's it's just getting worse or is she just talking about shit that like I feel like she's been repressing her entire life and if she was here and she leaves I'm just like you never got was the one that was the most uncomfortable I've felt in years oh my God so I can clean up my bites are more like the few that she hadn't knocked off at 8 and I was just like that was like the craziest thing just happened the next day that morning I woke up to a text hey I left my pants at your place they're like my favorite pants for and I know things got a little heated last night I'm sorry but can I please give those pants back she was sorry but he did bring it up and I was like because I'm done was like you should have been there I was like sure come by I'll meet you outside the gate I'll give you fucking pants okay cool thanks so I go to where I can feel like I owe you an apology I got a little weird last night whatever anyways phone number crazy so I will never ever ever ever ever respond to that number if she ever calls or text me ever again and that was the craziest person I have ever dated 10 Super Cuts Like a Knife that was a nightmare it was a nightmare moment that will haunt me for the rest I feel like the Storyteller and you wanted to drag out some of those situations because you're just like I am going to call casual dating thing like I did so I was legitimately like this cannot get any worse unless she picks up that knife and I'm not letting her near like it could get worse let's do some fucking investigative journalism here and see what fucked up and yeah I don't know somebody's thinking about this but they were there if you want it was maybe she wanted something more and then when I like called her out it was a casual thing she got embarrassed and I don't know I wish you the best I hope that her and Ryan I hear there's a text to Bill fuck you absolutely not yeah I'm in San Antonio I want to get some bagel and that's why I'm never talking to her again so she pulled on you do your thing comes up soon cuz we got the try hard podcast it starts now we can just keep him on a cliffhanger that way they have to throa if you're watching this you want first membership you can get a free 30-day trial so yeah I watch the try-hard podcast it's the spirit that game attack because you parked yesterday and I'm going to see if I can get miles to text her tonight and I'm not texting her I'm not you will see her thanks for watching love you guys buy somebody in person