#430 - The Impossible Mission

Join Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Brandon Farmahini, and Chris Demarais as they discuss RT merch in a strange place, the conception process, beaches, and more on this week's RT Podcast! This episode originally aired on May 22, 2017, sponsored by Blue Apron (http://cook.ba/29J4MMj) and MeUndies (http://bit.ly/2aGm9yg)

Link: http://roosterteeth.com/episode/rt-podcast-2017-430-anif3hm

Recorded: 2017-05-23 06:00:00

Runtime: 01:33:53 (5633.66 seconds)

Participants: Gus Sorola, Gavin Free, Chris Demarais, Brandon Farmahini


    "gus sorola"
    "gavin free"
    "brandon farmahini"
    "chris demarais"
    "hansen vs predator"
    "to catch a predator"
    "the sixth sense"
    "video games"
    "alien covenant"
    "baby driver"
    "space invaders"
    "ridley scott"
    "kill bill"
    "twin peaks"
    "the bo"


    "Audible" => "http://adbl.co/2bgBJkt"
    "Blue Apron" => "http://cook.ba/29J4MMj"
    "MeUndies" => "http://bit.ly/2aGm9yg"
    "RT Merch on Catching a Predator" => "http://bit.ly/2rMpqTW"
    "Hansen vs Predator" => "http://bit.ly/2ddzAvq"
    "The Sixth Sense" => "http://imdb.to/2rMGLwd"
    "Alien Covenant" => "http://imdb.to/2rMgUV5"
    "Baby Driver" => "http://imdb.to/2rMVhUu"
    "Space Invaders in Real Life" => "http://bit.ly/2rMHWM8"
    "Return of Twin Peaks" => "http://nyti.ms/2rMVOFY"
    "Bush Airport Expanded Terminal" => "http://bit.ly/2rMCQPU"
    "The Boring Company Tunnel" => "http://bit.ly/2rMJjug"
    "Texas Bill Would Fine Male Masturbation" => "http://n.pr/2rMxJiO"
    "SNL" => "http://bit.ly/2qRWg8Z"
    "Katy Perry Reinvention" => "http://on.mtv.com/2qRWrkm"
    "Snuggles the Rat Eats Heroin" => "http://bit.ly/2rMNhDi"
    "Cloverfield 4?" => "http://ind.pn/2rMGsS1"
    "Dunkirk" => "http://imdb.to/2rMCJ74"
    "Prey" => "http://bit.ly/2q88nPu"
    "Sea Lion Pulls Kid into Water" => "http://cnn.it/2qOJZCi"
    "Redneck Tries Different Dog Foods" => "http://bit.ly/2qucP8l"
    "Janet Jackson Incident" => "http://bit.ly/2rArLS0"
    "Lazy Sunday" => "http://bit.ly/2qOOEDU"
    "Jimmy John's Robbery" => "http://bit.ly/2qOwl1I"
    "Cow Chop on On The Spot" => "http://bit.ly/2qRMnYX"


Transcript (in progress):

hello everyone walking over Steve podcast this week brought you by audibl Blue Apron and me undies I'm guess I'm Gavin hi Brandon I'm Chris I'm Gus so the cop control there was new normally we only show that before the live broadcast on Monday nights for first members and it swapped out cuz tonight cow chop Steve Ewing their podcast after ours so we can just stream all security food the weather I love where to start with it be like to talk about but already Brian has derailed to meet Brandon and I don't see each other that frequently but anytime I see Brandon it's always something fun I was sitting here I got here first of the set before you know we started and I was going over at coffee and looking up stuff to talk about Brandon comes any secure sucks like what's wrong I've had my sweater in there over an hour and still wet I said did you take the lint out did you clean the lint trap I don't know I know I did not I said because I did not drain the lint trap is full we go over there and open it up it's like overflowing with no it's not overflowing if I can start a fire every single time yes there was enough there I will say that it wasn't that was not just one load worth of lint that was several loads people have not been changing that at all no engineer I don't know how much how many know definitely probably is not I will say that sell one drive sucks no matter what even outside of that but II like when you open it up you don't see lint trap it says clean the lint trap before using it's like you open it and it's a lie level no it's not you have to like put your head in and like tilt your eyes down and squint I have a lint trap but I mean I rarely ever use this didn't think of it so why were you using it today and wash this nice hoodie so I don't I don't feel comfortable just wearing a t-shirt but I am wearing my Brandon 2.0 is that right yeah speaking of our merchandise I saw a piece of our merchandise in a very interesting place out so I was watching YouTube last night and I started watching To Catch a Predator to prey show and I was watching it and I noticed you know they have like decoy you know that with the way it is that they have they they trapped child predators and then they have decoys come in who are pretending to be like underage boys and girls they're actually like 18 but they're the decoys right yeah one of the decoys wearing a rooster tail how did I pass the lawyer but that's Chris Hansen about to pop in to start the predator I want to see that movie with alien or Predator kind of suck but Hansen vs Predator would be pretty awesome he must get depressed in that line of work just ruining different people's life ruining their lives ruined the other alternative is like he's ruining their lives but whose lives might they have ruined that mean the same to be ruined his him who has to break the news and see that face and see that face and those like some kind of weird light rig and they just sit and he just chastises them for like 30 minutes they know it they're like Hansen Shih Tzu special so many people rely Waterloo they use a copper what I'm doing I have my own shows called to catch To Catch a Predator so that camera crew comes out and then you usually it's like Santa sit down stand up yeah I got like 20 minutes as soon as they step outside they're going to get arrested do that cuz he Corner this one really weird guy who showed up took off all his clothes before you even got in the house and really crazy yeah he was there to meet young boy it's very very disgusting so he chewed the guy out or Petro towards he the same guy that night online and they made another appointment with him the next morning at McDonalds to like keep that that guy thought he was going to meet a underage kid like they got him a second time when they showed up and he's like I can't believe you're doing this is never happened in the guy was like I'm just here for a burger I'm just here to eat oh that's great TV Chris you're right that's like I'm I have no idea was back so I didn't either legal trouble for a while the lawyers to wear one of ours no problem with that right now and it's nice that you can play I think they work with law enforcement right so you have to have like that law enforcement permission which one of you can act like a 14 year old playing with my parents are out of town how would the point system work let's say we all get someone fastest race has to be like certain other like things like the older the person like you think the game's over then all those fucking bonus stars comes in right you are Chris to bar I think it's from the video of that Gus and I are even see the video evidence of the right size my keys right there thanks I think Nick was pointing at it so so you going back now you brought it back to the dryer so this is your fault I wish I can't get it I wish that I could spend a week living with Brandon I think I could fix so much of your life could you really I think so you'd stop making them by grass from California did you film at 12 frames a second I forgot that oh my god look how much it holds what does walkers on the right but how many people got looks like 506 Woodlake Drive Martinez like 10 it's a communal one or dryer with a lot no you cannot see where the little sign was to empty the lint roll went by too fast I don't know did you get a good angle for it's like from the side it's not on the ground is on top of the right you don't even know how you do you get in there so they look down and you might not look down on that text really like muff diving but with my lint diving my cat loves being in the dryer and it terrifies me it was in that I threw a load and I'm like if I ever just don't check there's a cat in that before I start it and I'll be awful yeah there's no how long would it take you to figure that out and history has my mom had a cat when she was growing up her family and they were doing laundry one day and they're like man is someone someone drying their tennis shoes set camping Compton they open up the dryer the cat was dry very dry and dead so it's like I don't know I mean long enough I mean that's terrible thing where it's like I remembered like Christmas it got brought up in like my Aunt started crying just get the memory of like opening up the dryer Skylander I wouldn't be able to get the cow I think I would just close it and sell it comes with cats can you get an existing cause I don't believe in go some just saying is that a thing if people believe in ghosts does this apply then yeah I mean people will believe anything but some people I think there are people who could believe in ghosts I would say no longer notice people say what happened yeah it's all nonsense you can just replace the sentence with X and yes speaking of ghosts re-watched The Sixth Sense this weekend and hold up we surprised that I was really surprised I don't think I got paper towels st. Patrick's already got them God dammit but I don't think I've seen it since it came out in the theater maybe I saw it like on DVD when it first came out on DVD 19 years ago now that movie holds up then we were still really good Esther has not seen it and she's like oh but I already no big deal right you know Bruce Willis's dead the whole time whatever was really a lot more to it than you we watched it yet she's like well that was really good it doesn't really good job of exploring that kind of stuff and I understand people maybe have never seen it because they know that's right that's what it's still a good movie you're still a lot of ways that the approach long and she thinks I do like talking about go send the possibility of ghosts and yeah and really excellent direction to you like all the scenes between Bruce Willis and his wife like obviously using Elgin cuz he's not real but it just feels like there's something in their marriage like you feel that tension and it's so well done and it just works just cuz it's not the Go stuff he does well it's everything else that makes it goes thing work but I'm breakable pre wash a breakable like 2 or 3 weeks ago in the whole time movie supposed to be good to split as you see alien Covenant if I can see technology from the the year I'm living in in a movie the supposed to be set in 2104 sing a camera from the year 1900 yeah it's to be just as way to see that everything else was so futuristic and they had like a hero 5 to where it's like a GoPro obviously sponsor them like orange and I think it's a GoPro like a shell around like something else run it looks like is going to be like in 21 or it's going to be ridiculous behind you going to stick with all the mountains like flies eyes or something let me know I don't feel like I shouldn't be able to go out after I've seen a futuristic Ridley Scott movie and buy something nice when you watch older movies that rely on Obsolete technology like you ever see the Russell Crowe movie not the informant The Whistleblower something something to that effect and I thought well it's like so much of show us inside man thank you so much tension or like close-ups on fax machines and it's so hard not to be distracted by technology what movie you should go see when it comes out baby driver coming out soon right yeah it's so good what movie baby driver I saw that South by what's up it's it's it's the second what's his name from Shaun of the Dead and it writes Newegg right movie it's fucking awesome it's like what you want out of the Fast and Furious movie or something like that fancy Fast and Furious was going to say when we were in Australia filming the Space Invaders immersion we were at the fox Studio filming it in the same Sound Stage as alien Covenant play where do the wall that one point we're on break or something I walked outside I think I'm going to get like coffee or something and I bumped into this guy who's a rich teeth that are you doing I'm running lean data for alien Covenant all these hard drives with the film like we're taking it to go to go process daily so that's pretty cool I think they shot a lien Ridley Scott he's British yeah I think they shot the first alien in the soundstage in Britain yeah I think there's all those like horror stories about like him versus the crew like they both hated each other in those all those that was like a movie that's very friendly to Cameron's yeah he shot that movie off the Terminator but it hadn't come out yet and England so nobody knew James Cameron who's this young schmuck I never was being an awful to just being normal for a screw stopping 40 time in that he had a rough time and then after that I assume it's fine cuz aliens was that movie we were working you honestly want to go to Lydia's more Westworld like with the finale like when I was watching Westrose like this is okay and then I was all the finale I was like oh this makes the show so much better now that I understand what it was going for when I rewatch it a second time I like the show way way more like the first couple of times going through I thought was too babe is the middle that kind of I kind of started every episode of Westeros better in the last episode it going to make that better than I feel like oh my God how the fuck are they at the top that every week was consistently better and better I'm waiting until we are closer to catch a second season let me know what you think so maybe it goes up to 11 I just feel like once the show gets better Twin Peaks Twin Peaks of crap crap I want to see you in 25 years so now everyone's making the same show it's so cool it's so weird you have to one of the way to show some stuff cuz I feel like it's so much easier and less of an investment again for like the who knows how many times will turn to no joke about it during kill Billy said that he wanted to make Kill Bill vol 3 but have it be like 20 or 25 years later or its Vivica Fox's daughter grown up taking her revenge on Ooma Thurman's character from wonder if I believe in you reach that point where it's Ben I'm shit it's been at this point almost 15 years since it came out I know this really underrated like I thought they were really really really really fantastic and I don't think people would put it in the same level as like Pulp Fiction it's really I mean I legitimately think as concept especially as concept films the first in the second one are like really really really amazing like the best pairing of movies I feel like I've seen because it was part 1 and part 2 I mean in comparison to like movies that just have sequels like one big them and it is very much a you know Kung Fu movie however you want to classify it I'm sure people have their own particular way in the other spaghetti western the first time I watch Kill Bill volume 2 I did not like it really felt like it dragged too much at the beginning with Michael madson's character like all the buck stuff or not Buck was the name of that Michael Madsen that was my name is Buck and I like to fuck that's why I'm getting with you yeah the Michael magic I thought that part dragged on too long but then like as time's gone I've learned to appreciate the second film or more night life really like the second one yeah I mean I from from the four seconds of that I absolutely loved it so I'm getting worse in public I'm on becoming more like you I think I'd somehow damn you're better I had to tie the sting of the airport the other day and you sound just like me yeah someone in the lounge to wait cuz 2 hours away sat down all the plugs with taken I need to charge my phone cuz I just I guess I'll just pull out my battery in my suitcase I sat down but a woman next to me had the same battery as like I want to pull mine out because I don't want her to look at it and think for a second I grabbed hers look it up I would have thought that or would have thought I don't want her to talk to me about the battery it's like a common thing we share now like those are the two things I would have thought about the strangers you're never going to see those people again especially is not like starting in the same city set time to talk hey have you have you spend any time in the new or the expanded terminal at Bush Airport in Houston just the one with like like a thousand iPads yes that are just like that's amazing I was talking about a few months ago on this podcast you don't have to talk to anybody you can just like put your order in and the food turns out great I'll bring food to The Concourse I guess you just thought you didn't use it you know I'm just talking about like you're there at your gate and instead of just sitting in a bunch of Rose there's all these counters would like a bunch of iPads you can order food or drinks and will bring it out to you in private if you just like digging around just use that like I was just genius and wasn't like that for the first time and I didn't realize you can order food from The Screen Pro if you're in like some slight where you get free food so it's like that conveyor belt sushi place yet if I go over at airport in Lamar so they like the conveyor belt with all the sushi that runs around the entire restaurant or if you want just like a tablet there and you can order sushi and it comes out on the stepper conveyor belt that goes like whoops right to Sable stop stuck at the end of the conveyor belt like if you're you know it's like basically everybody else and I just got online order off the other things you know if you guys saw at Alon musk release this like conceptual video of a like transportation system using his tunnels or whatever and it's kinda similar to what you're talking about like you park your car on like this like Trey basically and it goes underground and then just like zooms like through underground tunnels and takes you to like some other like random place and it's just assumed that goes to a place you want but not another round LOL yeah yeah it's like where do I want to visit today I don't know I started a new company that makes tunnels like it's just cause driving entrees but will it's an automatic navigation system like imagine if all the cars they are going to hundred miles an hour or something that's all coordinated you have to worry about breaking down our essential the same thing as a Subway accept you don't have to you know sit next to other people sniff used to take your car somewhere else you don't have to drive it over the river so there any what would Teslas I think if you're ready would work with anything I like to have you park on it and it drops down the across too big and this is hanging up in a solid lock and the whole ride your car is the word feel like it's too much in the hands of the driver to get right that it's just not going to go right it's going to be like someone with the couch on the stoma could be like oh they're having an emergency and they like fuck it up for everyone like to have to pee and then you know in the future they will be a pee hole in your car what if you don't have to drive but if you did hook some sort of fun with you know Apollo and then you just piss through the bottom of your car is that legal what does spray FPS on the cause behind you make it legal I don't know you not to throw your right now in type it in a car before I remember when I was like in traffic there's like we're not going anywhere and I'm like I have to pee and she was like hands me a bottle and I'm like how do you get it in like you know without spraying everywhere I don't know I figured it out from the whole penis in the hall I didn't do that I just put the head on the tip of the bottle and just like held it what kind of bottle is it might have been a gatorade bottle I feel like a big hole in his I didn't like stick it all and would you be afraid though if you stuck it all in and then I don't know whatever reason you started to get horny just like a Dick's near a hole and I don't know what if he says something you see something I don't know we can find a text how fast do you go from flaccid to fully erect Brandon will at this age not very fast but you know if I was like 13 you know when you're that age you just like non-stop mean what one before I don't even know what an erection really meant to me was just something that my penis did that was weird everyone sinful yeah when I was like a kid I didn't know what it was like everyone small my penis is weird thing with big and hard and I don't know why I have a huge penis snow wasn't even that it was just like I was a thing that happened I genuinely didn't know what it was they're getting erections at 4i don't know yeah I didn't happen it wasn't like it was like horny all the time like Brandon apparently jerking off into Gator by dislike search ejaculation and there's literally a gif of a penis jaculating casual your Through the Grapevine or with movies or stuff like a remember somebody said I remember being in school and some kid bragged about getting a blowjob I'm ripping like all that's awesome but thinking it's like I to stay I don't know how I learned about cuz I don't know what I was learning about if you finished laughing sex when you're coming tadpoles are certain if you like flopping around everywhere read at some point have you seen his this video broadcast before of what it looks like when sperm go through like a woman's body like through the uterus and like it's just like a Minefield it reminds me of everything I've read about World War one yay or any of them make it yeah that's true so many yeah like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle arcade game no one else and possibly remember in the water level with all those like tentacles and kill you that you have those any like just grabs your tail and just like you know it's like it's like the best one the Strong Survive you know it's like they got to make it through the gauntlet how did we get through might have set for a while it's like you go and celebrate your your birthday right when you were born but like you didn't do anything when you were born it's like it when we should be celebrating his nine months from your birthday when you play made it when you move the impossible mission yeah when you pass the gauntlet everything else is just congratulations for not dying yet that's crazy I think I read that essentially to be alive like you've won the lottery already All Odds considered your right Mega Million right like I said a day it's not an event that we celebrate at all just cuz me that we don't to think about our parents fucking how many people have lived I think most people who live our lives right now I think it's a relatively small number but it's more than the current population of course you can figure out how much juice has jizzed because you come from a hefty pool of you know one time all of you went in and then you go to think how many times has that how many times have you how many sperm have been made in the world in all his sperm have ever been made easy cuz like there hasn't really been a gradual like constant increase in population like there been certain like things that have happened that created like exponential growth population lighting like millions of sperm right but then how many loads are there in your like that actually get into a vagina yeah like at Muslims don't they must go into like some you know tissue what was like that bill that's off opposing a fine every time a guy jerks off and it's not inside a woman you know cuz you're not allowing the Spurs are going to look up how many how many sperms have existed did there's no way to know how many humans have existed over all time but the estimate is somewhere around 15 billion okay so I'm here actually to highlight what was just saying about how popular to today team billion 15 billion times so it's every load between 2 to 5 ml so we want to estimate that at how much volume did the tough thing goes you also have to factor in the expected life life expectancy to overtime because the longer someone's a live the more so if we do in Port Ludlow to 15 billion x 300 million one night because women don't have sperm good but they were all conceived wait sperm how to create a woman from a dick one of those people have her father had a dick right so every human every human had a jizz that make them is what I have so you have to multiply by the whole number the numbers are too big for my calculator he easier to think about how many men have lived I hope someone just go from there like break this down for someone will pack RT Podcast 70 you sing Jizzle time yes just find out the average life and do one jizz per day on average two or three kids right yeah and that's split between two people right so like yeah that's a that's a lot of sperm per person they get wasted Muhammad how much sperm do you feel are you wasting your life billions how often do you jerk off at least it's like God have you wasted a quadrillion sperm sure to let you know maybe like you've been doing it for let me be like 17 years 10 10 or 11 feels like a how to book it was like all those books an encyclopedia and I was looking up sex and stuff and that's when does when they're like 10 or 11 and I read about masturbation I'm like I think I could do that I'm going to give that a shot so I had no it was not I just like took out my penis and I have started like rubbing it until something happened did anything but Chris speaking of books I want to say thanks to Audible for supporting this episode of the risky podcast audibl has an unmatched selection of audio books original shows news play and more audio books are great to listen to when you're driving at the gym or shopping talk about it all the time I always listen audibl time in my car driving to and from work just dance it's great for our audience audibles offering a free audio book with a 30 day free trial you want to listen to it audibl has it to go to audible.com / RT browser unmatched selection of audio content download a title free and start listening it's that easy Merrill was suggesting a book to me earlier today I'm going to plug in a butcher she said I should listen to she said this book was about a crotchety old man so I probably like it thanks Muriel it's a man called OVA by Fredrik backman so get a free audiobook you listen to what Merrill things about me apparently I'll get a free audiobook of the 30 day free trial at audible.com RT that's audibl. Thanks audibl for sponsoring this episode of the receipt podcast embarrassing moment where I think it was on Saturday I went to the bathroom and I like drop my pants and I realize I had my underwear on backwards I tell you tweet about the underwear backwards on all morning long and then do remember when I got out of the shower I put my underwear on it was I can you paralyze never worn before I put the underwear on us like underwear feel kind of weird like I feel super comfortable but didn't even give it a second about 3 or 4 hours later I'm like no pants how does that work I see me realize that when you go to like button I think it's like if it's like pajama pants like they're pretty like if you put those on backwards with your if you've taken them off with your own underwear and then you put them back on you put on backwards and you feel it it's weird like pajamas or whatever that opened up in the bottom Wicked hello flat but no in the butt yeah yeah it's really cold just goes back to more like the Outhouse days Patrick did you do this math Patrick on someone else do this Pat the math jacking off once a day for 19 years would race 12 trillion 707 billion 200 million sperm so there's your and that's a low estimate because it's that's only once a day sometimes a lot more age though at least once really Chris likes to do on like a random like weekend you just bored you just do it at a board them busy you are the less you do exactly like you're busy I'm busy enough sound like a crystal like a end of the day stress relief going to sleep kind of thing are you at all curious what your sperm count is now apparently it's how many I'm normally low sperm count I don't know why has it been an issue yet but it is to get one of those two contests to see who's the most fertile after I read a story of the Statesman this morning about a state employee who was busted for having pedophilia on his computer at work and the way they caught him was he copied his child porn to a shared network try what and I hit he was like he claimed that he was trying to delete it so you must have copied a dick by accident was it like cloudbase I don't know they don't give all those details but I'm glad they caught it was like what the fuck like I was just trying to help trying to get it off the internet cleaning on his desktop move stuff around so fucked up some people yeah it's it's it's fucking terrible Federal weather so what did you see they have the season finale of SNL this past weekend and a lot of people leaving it turns out it was Bobby Moynihan Vanessa Bayer and Sasheer Zamata yeah I didn't hear about her after the episode wasn't even on the farewell sketch either maybe I don't know what happened if she decided not to come back or what's going on I think I understand everybody has sex unless they fire you you better now it's after that 7-year Mark is it a sudden you want to be on SNL you know so they don't want you to sign up and then get famous and leave I'm sorry at Eddie Murphy about that and about the weirdo musical performance at Katy Perry put on in the bathtub or something on one of them she was like what a dinner party did you see the backpack kid which backpack kid like one of them was like a weirdo fashion show and this kid came out like he was strutting down a Runway wearing a backpack they start doing this weird dance with his hands he was like putting one in front of him and one behind them you didn't see this yeah I fast 42 I'm not buying what Katy Perry's doing right now I was like I get what she's going for him just like now I'm not I'm not buying it but it's a little weird nope that just out of Cambridge it's this super super weird it just like a sad weird avant-garde kind of thing yeah and her didn't help that her suit look like Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Miley Cyrus at the MTV Awards that was like yeah so it's like she already looks the same look as what she was doing and then you know that doesn't help but he just feels like it just feels too fake and manufactured I'm sorry Katie maybe it's all authentic travel I'm not buying it I'm not saying she's obligated to prove I'm just saying I mean she's just it just seems like a huge meeting with her PR team are here going to try something completely different I just doesn't feel like authentic and real Miley Cyrus did a 180 but she's pretty young so I buy it but Reinventing Katy Perry reinventio herself in this way at this stage in her career I'm just to me it feels a little manufactured you just worried about falling off play Gaga's not as popular she wasn't right the Rave I meant to say way you think about that time I saw you and the guy looks at him goes I remember you used to be famous like nobody wants to have that colors of the wrestler the old WWF Chris or he was the million dollar man sidekick so you know what no one ever wants to do that or have that conversation yeah it's rough and you got to do stuff and you know it did just feels nothing people can't reinvent itself this to me just feel super forced and I don't know it's just hard to buy it at this is really like her natural thing I get it you think was her natural thing those crazy crap floating on that wire above everybody should the shark shark shark shark that's the only I remember about the Super Bowl drink more turn off now I'm not terribly concerned with Reinventing I'm happy I'm happy where I am Perfection you should ride that Ray as long as rated season in like 23 or 25 years and still haven't yeah I mean it's just so much material I mean really like to see this but I don't know what your plans are going to take him down but it's like they have this cord choreographed thing and I think this one doesn't remember what he supposed to be doing next I feel like that's not the fact that you said you give your big contention with everything feel authentic I didn't like you can still have them manufactured change that still feels authentic this to me like what you doing right now feels like to Off the Wall to random not buying it I mean like I'm sure like all of the huge image changes or she uniforce in like you know manufactured but like a lot of them were more like believable and like I get it and I'll look past it what I don't know what I saw on SNL I'm just like I don't know I'm not going this Gus what's the most fake thing you've ever done in the early days of Red vs. blue unified is videos anymore whenever we have to do like a paid corporate thing Bernie always gave me like the shittiest add copyist lines ever had to deliver like it was me or like Simmons and fucking hate it when they was always that stuff red get a scrip everyone has normal dialogue and then it's me for 10 minutes talking about some you no bulshit corporate thing I have to do this punishment is what what it was it's cuz I was the what cuz it's cuz that's when I lived in Puerto Rico so he would save me like listing of black people's new 401K alcohol I got to read all the stupid shit like you paragraphs of text did he ever try to lure you in with a promise of being on a cover Simmons being on a DVD cover so are we are done but it was like 2 season 1 DVD and there's no one on that cover okay I'm in season 2 you know what came a year later was talking but even the first cover like the original cover for season two black with like the cockfight logos no no no no season 1 the season to cover it was very fake like you really had to struggle to see that doc was on it there's like it we wanted it to be very subtle where you really couldn't see that there was a character on or so in the early days we never really wanted like anyone character to be on the cover or like a focus obviously that stuff four years in the envelope and I feel like I fucking little customs declaration you know where the little green and white tag and the fucking will I remember because they wouldn't deliver it to my house until I went to the post office and paid the the VA on it right stage one cost me more when it arrived but sucks I know people complain about that sometimes when we like merchandise sometimes I'll take money for it that's why I used to order in bulk just so I could pay all the important one guy you know I have to keep going to the post office we learned a lot about international shipping back then I think I'd ever have to deal with any of that before no why would you have to go no other way that this little green and white International Customs form so we have to a fixed every fucking envelope and the post office never had very many of them and they would get mad when you take them all and we need a hundred thousand of them print this like a specific format he set the timer to go and I'd have to like try to take all of them at the post office at the post employees noticing that I was thinking all of them just replace Inlet indeed's Flutie was like I was stealing but I wasn't cuz it's your 3 and I'm actually in the mail so I feel like free stuff at some point it becomes stealing if you get into many intended purpose but if it puts the company in a position of it supposed to use what did I want you to take them what if I went to H-E-B and took hold a bag with the bags cost all the grocery store it's like we don't have any more apples like but I got it sell all the time I got to make a lot of Pi you know but you're using the apple right they get mad at you can't buy that any apples like why there's no grocery store that would stop you from buying would happen if you walked in and save me unloading like every crate of apples into your cart I'm sure someone come by like yellow you can't do that then you need to go wholesale right baby do you think we could do a video where we we like to sign budget to the video but we use the budget just to buy the entire shop like a very small like family-run store and buy everything by everything I like completely empty shelves I go to a flag store on the sidewalk in front what is $0.01 more random country nothing to the flag store in that people go for Productions and stuff but I haven't been changed for the seller all kinds of stuff like to like whatever you need they've got it yep Bucky's is a convenience store Buckey's is bigger boogies almost like super super market size can you store fresh chocolate they might have British crisps yeah like Christmas yes they do but they change it they're in the process of reorganize it like the wine section Scott little bigger and the British crisp section is gotten a little smaller Tammy I miss my window it's weird walking in there now things are a little a little out of sync it is fun buying something I had to do that with the cuz ever seen to that video with Dan jumping on the list master and I was to buy them in bulk to make it as cheap as possible but then you have to go directly from that company was like Victor mouse traps and it's like you can't even sorry I haven't delivered a couple of months that I'd buy it took me like 18 months to file a mouse traps because I would forget I might still be more really crappy to you can't just make another Amazon account and buy it that way like they look at your death look at your your financial information. And now I don't need them how many how many mice do you think live to pick those who have you been buying their whole stock for so long prices of gone up you can open your own Amazon sell them for a profit did some of them I've had for mouse trap on the trampoline that didn't go off so Rusty one of a thousand is about 18 months I guess you don't normally put in a mousetrap out for 18 months you're not a mousetrap out for a couple days and it either works or maybe it is helping them I said because there's a really old so if Mel snap traps so maybe they just say they can't make it because I kept by that's what's a human can also if you poison it then will a cat or another animal comes and eats that Mouse in the thing is with SNAP down one's it can like partially catch them in the end up just like there is no humane way I think I like him a gun a crazy story I think it was in Canada's this this lady had a pet rat accidentally ate her heroin and she who has a pet rat she went through some like animal control I guess I don't know like a vet and had to get it treated but at that point do you open yourself up to the rat eat heroin and live the dose how early I don't know if you eat heroin does it work call be grimey naked fuck you up or kill you or maybe it's less effective on Sunday the rat named snuggles accidentally hits of heroin that was left out on a day book by a woman have been couver the old man brought a very sick snuggles to an over who's prevention site in hopes of keeping the animal alive assuming that's for human the vet I don't think so yeah I don't know I guess I guess they were able to figure it out and save it but I'm going to what point did that on its side off at sauce send this to broadcast on you last time I was on the Pike I said talk a lot about getting a pet pig a call I found there's a breeder in Texas I called this weekend and how long conversation with them they said I shouldn't get a pic to the high maintenance well they said I needed a house for the yard do just have an apartment you cross from popping up out by you mean Shark Tank I wouldn't call that Mark Cuban shahul I couldn't remember the name but I said Mark even shown you immediately knew what I was talking about the only thing is all on it was a good way to classify Snuggles the did he live overdose so I just saw you little rat rat thinking I shouldn't have eaten the whole thing to Pace myself next time the singer I want to run this episode of the podcast is also brought to buy Blue Apron not all ingredients are created equal fresh high-quality ingredients to make a real difference so it's important to know where your food comes from for less than $10 a person per meal Blue Apron deliver seasonal recipes along reapportion ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals choose from a variety of new recipes each week or let Blue apron's culinary team surprise you recipes are not repeated within a year she'll never get bored they have a list of some upcoming years I'm going to read what I'm actually getting this week though instead this week I'm getting meatballs in tomato sauce with asparagus and creamy rice spicy Korean style chicken with pickled enoki mushrooms in roasted vegetables and asparagus and summer squash curry with ginger lime peanuts Blue Apron delivery to cook or they'll make right customize your recipes each week based on your preferences Blue Apron has several delivery options you can choose what fits your needs there's no weekly commitment to see only get deliveries when you want check out this week's menu get your first three meals free with free shipping are going to blueapron.com RoosterTeeth you love how good it feels and tastes incredible home cooked meals with blue apron so don't wait that's blueapron.com / Keith Blue Apron a better way to cook asparagus and summer squash curry with ginger lime peanuts that sounds really good let me that tomorrow can you make some for me know why don't we do it lovely video where I come over and you cook us Blue Apron I thought about filming like a time lapse of myself making like a blue Premier League next time to do an ad read like to sending up a couple of GoPros in my kitchen and just doing like a time lapse of whatever 20-30 minutes it takes to cook it all and then all of a sudden you didn't do that wow time flies July 2014 I moved like the week before our TX smart it's not terrible go to the worst idea I've ever done in my life BP for Bethany one of the many people in your career that you hire to replace to replace my job so last year I was still a little very little involved in our texts it was like almost nothing but this year I like I really haven't done anything it's all it's been all Bethany like all the let's play Live stuff too like I did the first one in Austin I helped quite a bit with the one in LA and then after that I've been hands off of that stuff I like JJ Abrams yeah I create a framework that someone else extended Wilco as it crumbles behind another Cloverfield movie Speed JJ Abrams so they said that God Particle supposed to come out later this year to be the third Cloverfield movie and that Juju haven't started work on the 4th Cloverfield movie which going to be a supernatural World War II movie that sounds about where like a squad of American soldiers before D-Day gets dropped in for the Normandy landing and then I can counter like soup and how forces that's awesome movie dunkir to see that I heard that there's a large portion of it at 70 millimeter like like 75% of it IMAX it up is 70 mm I have avoided looking at each other I'm going to go see it don't you trailers man I wonder if Tom Hardy will be in it for the joke really well he's no reason I guess you're right Overlord is the name of the new movie the fourth Cloverfield movie like Justin outside this past week I'll try to find the synopsis Crystal renovation success what is the approach or Target to begin to realize there was more going on in this nazi-occupied Village than a simple military operation lazy description I want to do that maybe you like just trying to get as much information out as you can without actually knowing everything you play any prey I stopped at about 7 hours worth and I stopped playing with it sounds awesome they have it was really interesting at first I thought and it got a great Space Walk mechanic in that game it time to go to space it's really cool like you can be it's all about your velocity right like you could be moving in one direction looking in the other and still accelerating that way and you have to worry about your rotation it like it really takes into account all three-dimensional else calling my favorite part of the game that I played I'm playing a side-by-side with Dan and it's really interesting how to people can play the same game so differently he's making all kinds of different decisions going to different places first put in his new room laws in different slots it's like it's really interesting he playing like a different game he's going like I didn't do that what he said here cuz I didn't want the turds attacking me yeah he liked it he avoids to play against to hack him to make him make sure you have nothing to be for not my dude so I can like jump really high run really fast for stuff really far and he's just like resurrecting humans as friends and stuff and doing stuff that I can't even do crazy things like you're the bad guy in suicide memory leak in Xbox hard drive on ants such a big open room so weird he's getting really enough to hear anything happened a few weeks ago so Mike really petrified of heights and I feels weird when people say I'm your scared of heights it's more like I'm scared of dying from like from Lehigh up and I was in Galveston and I went to this like little mini theme park and they have this like pretty the fuck you talking about my phone is just like transmitting everything inside what time is your scared of heights it's more like I'm scared of dying from fucking like really high up and drivers in Galveston and I went to this like a little mini theme park here how about a web search for it yes fucking Amazon Nook whatever it is if I went with okay you're out of theme park yeah so it's a really slow day there's not that many people there so I guess the people operating a really bored and you know the things that on my mind I don't know if you guys remember a few months ago somebody this kid like died at Schlitterbahn in Kansas City you know why he fell off the track and got decapitated a weight distribution German airborne off of the the tube and had came right off ya the people he was he was a very small kid in there were two very large people he was riding with and he was at the very front so thing just you know it's my crazy so I guess the guy was like really bored and there were that many people there so we got in the very front of this pretty crazy roller-coaster and right before he sets it off he turns to me and he says hey you forgot your seatbelt you like launches it and there's like 20 seconds what I'm looking down and that's my God where is him like I have to come to terms of my existence very quickly does it hold on extra Hunter was no seatbelt there was like that well played sir those very well played what do you know me the Moody Gardens was probably like the taste of that probably made the ride way better it was fun that was probably the only that I would not recommend going to gab sorry to people live in Galveston Galveston in like 20 years Crimson to go Cricket pitch now it's a Texas beach like a trash be flying in sand from how to town and put it on the B Lal about it when I was really young before we got to the Border I lived in Texas City and Lamarck for a little while and take City Lamarque are like small towns close to Galveston so when I was a little kid you know for friends like 5 is to go to the beach all the time and it wasn't until I was much older probably like 18 or so then I realized beaches aren't supposed to be covered in tar that's an unusual thing oops of tar-like black oily sticky stuff was it from oil sure I don't know I don't know yeah it was just all over the beach all the time where was this speech with Pebble beaches allow the English Beat so sticky may I would just be like that everywhere I mean deck that's actually what I remember it looking like all the time yeah I think so have you ever been to volcanic Beach no sense black know it's really hot I've been a White Sands in New Mexico unfair been there that's and conversely obviously is really cool it's weird and it's beautiful if you never been there it's really surreal to walk out there and just see it everywhere on the beach on the Rocks right at right out over the water so it's as you know you can hear the ocean it's really cool and then I kind of realize like I don't know because I don't like saying I want to go to write how do I get hey it's Rob course and it gets everywhere anybody wants to go in the ocean ship did you see that video of that sea lion grabbing that girl and the water in the seal I just got like this loose white dress on and the sea lion jumps up out of the water grabs her dress and then pulls her right into the water she's okay they got a great story out of it and it's a cool video or something it's reached up and grabbed her and pulled her in and she if she was holding back on the food it's a good Icebreaker for her that guy in the dog food blue capsule with it he found it independently I didn't tell him about it and I was at last night he just remembered that video offing rolled over by Chris laughing for about 5 minutes food and he's eating himself it's not worth the extra money really violent vomiting it's not like he is you just vomited it's funny the girl did she not see or she trying to get oh my gosh so fast I know you got to appreciate it dude who just jumps to say I know I thought you don't like me anymore take out a cell phone cool but you don't know then I fuck with you should see penguins in the water Penguins you're cute when you see him online they seem a lot alike that's terrifying a little missiles not going to risk not going to risk go in the water in the Artic who is this on Twitter of brackish midget treated us a photo of Anakin Skywalker going to be a millionaire funny I think early today I sell this super super weird GIF it was like insect I think bees mating O'Reilly you know what insects are pretty in a lot of other and you worry that it's really rough and you know not fun for everybody but like the mail be like will put his attendance out and like Crest the antennas of the female be it's like actually it's it's like very well there those look it's play some Barry White or he's grabbing her it's like he's grabbing her ears or something according to be pretty gross can we see the control room for in luck any further what am I to you buy me undies Parts on the inside celebrate yourself with me undies me Andy's makes the ultimate 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me and calm today then I know that turn it around on me undies.com underwear I was wearing their head backwards worm and their design of the month was like a pizza one and I had a bear pizza underwear on what I Pizza how does that work what you mean what is it look like it looks like cheese and pepperoni and chicken in the mood Lupita Nyong'o foot roll room cut that you got a second regular followers and slugs they're not looking I hope you're not looking I found a video called amazing slug sex into twine and I just do it in the air instead of yeah and they're connected like they're like they're like hanging by like goo goo and the penises come out in like Rubble over each other like I didn't have all of it male and female there's kind of got it all really I just learned something I said that explosion in Manchester which is awful I don't have died play if you're in Manchester popped up on BBC you still have your news Manchester Arena do you feel how do you feel like a BBC is on on American politics respective easiest way to cuz it's not it's not like a government-funded of the UK cats not really allowed to be bias in anyway so but but even in us though like how does it yet what's the the slant on us give me light politics Trump's a prick I think you should check out I think the economist is based in in the UK like they have a pretty interesting way of looking at in evaluating like a American politics cold I remember they reported on the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show where Janet Jackson's boob came out but it had like the tassel but didn't report that it happened a report that the American Media censored it instead of just showing for what happened like you know live and it's not like a bear nipple that was like tassel on it was like kinda is like a circle I had like Rays coming out from it would you have sent it no do you know anything about that I don't know if I've ever told you this right that day for the Super Bowl of all I watched that Super Bowl live that was the first time I've ever use my TiVo it was the first thing I find out it was nipple the yeah their articles about how no like new media coverage would show that so it's a pretty it's definitely like a kind of from afar but nocular what was the explanation of that just that was upon the bit or is an accident to put big cleaners in accident she just wears the end of their old times I don't know I think you just grab like the entire instead of like grabbing the front which I guess was collapsible like the front flap he grabbed like the entire look up or something yeah on the entire cup and people freaked out for no good reason there's a nipple on screen for like a fraction of a second I think that was from the broadcaster Pro cost but I think there was an old for it wasn't even one of the first things to see that clip I think that getting big on YouTube Lazy Sunday SNL the first day five in that the Superbowl thing was like January 04 I think so I don't know I remember like the daily shows you John YouTube like I was basically like YouTube Wacom free Viacom shows like comedy Central's so red vs blue the first HD Super Bowl was actually in January 2034 the Rams of the Titans but they don't broadcast it 4K I never said that what NFL films is actually really good about filming stuff And archiving their footage so so does future-proofing the tens in Houston sale download TRU TV providers like through U-verse or Time Warner or satellite I know obviously it's online like with Netflix and stuff but that's a really good question I don't know yes I don't know the Technology's there yet cuz she killed tied to cable and I might change but like there's a lot yes PN in the NFL can't do that they would want to do online because they're so tied to subscribers cable TV and you may not realize this having just only had American TV dog shit talking collie none of its 1080 P light you can get full 1080p nobody has that most people to have cable no no you're right I'm never using respectable when I have time order their fucking quality garbage death even if you watch HD like some of the ads are tiny box in the screen superblock because of the resolution if you if there's like a still frame if I can yes I if someone is live on TV I would deliberately wait for the on-demand just so it doesn't look just compression in garbage I don't know why people aren't more annoyed about it I think I need to like satellite TV antenna great I think the antenna broadcast look pretty recently tweeted about ever talked about in a while I've mentioned some new station still shoot in 480 and upper S2 1080 I think the Time Warner cable news station Henley dirty little RTX secret r480 that you scalers to appraise for for the stream Phil it works it looks like an endo indulgences at work so can I have looked at side-by-side like okay let's Kaylor does a good job it looks fine when you're trying to get security cameras that we could use for to drum almost impossible to get HD ones did you see that video a couple weeks ago of that guy robbing a Jimmy John's restaurant and that was like the highest quality security camera footage I've ever seen it was awesome I also saw the Dell now have the commercial 8K monitor you can buy like 5 grand thing is insane I was just with you oh yeah oh wow aspect ratios weird so I think yeah which is weird to me that really capture right there all they really care about I mean it's probably just as much to monitor the employee and the cash drawer as it is the customer right front like I care about everything else so what's happening right now so this is the one where the guy just doesn't care Elite it's crazy cuz like you know it wasn't too long ago you just had VHS tapes do you think that's loaded the way he's ghost finger on the trigger I think it is but feel like they he would be an insane person to hold it look out you can see the silver on the typical gun he the bullets coming out of a chamber he already had a bullet in there and when you pull the slide back it did not eject properly cuz of his hand so the bullets jammed in there the guns jammed so he was like one finger away from playing that guy's head off now they might be able to be cool yeah I think that was just tried for that we cut away before you're sorry you feel like from off camera he tosses his gloves into the trash there's a guy who is tried recently for robbery with a deadly weapon and the defense try to get that charge to reduce to just robbery but the prosecution said no it's going to be robbery with deadly weapon but they were using like airsoft guns I'm not sure they were actually loaded and the defense team actually went up there and said we are guilty of robbery we robbed these convenience stores we being like you know the defended like that but we did not Rob them with a deadly weapon it was an airsoft gun so the guy said look we would have convicted if it was just robbery but based on how the law is written in our trip rotation of it that is bullshit is not it was not robbery with a deadly weapon it's how they they didn't take the weapon out until it's an airsoft don't worry if the intimidate you and make you think it's a deadly weapon it's a deadly weapon I don't know I mean turn the actual look like the letter of the law is there but I don't like that's that's how the case ended up working out I don't know I don't know what is the plastic knife but it's going to be nice like it's not they're not threatening you with the passing I threatening you with a knife it's whether or not you don't know that it is. There's not there's not the danger of death you don't know that in the moment if you're the one that's all the statute is written though go straight through Red Ranger you rob banks and stuff I feel like you actually doing it there yeah it would be like what I caught up in a bad the you know a bad way I always dream like right I might dream starts like after I've killed someone and I'm like why did I do that set a reminder remember I'll be like mid bank robbery I'm like what am I doing why am I running to spank what I'm just screwed myself and I didn't even bring a real weapon comes to the fight of my life is over by the time I wake up turn like having these dreams where to the commissionable dress like the clerks at band was like being you and I it was some business that I do know and I'll be like here you go everyone there should be trained to do that when they're confronted with a deadly weapon it's like that fight or flight kind of mentality were there like who did we fight in the weight does an airsoft nevermind it's like that you know like someone comes will you think you like what if your tryna like save someone's life but if it's just a thing of like this person wants money some rich dude they just angry that then here it's just 10 I'd like a drenalin and anger I guess it's all it takes you're being to fight yeah no dump someone wants some stuff my friends yeah there's like 20 people fighting in this Pub and someone was like choking my friend so I just like shut up there and then I liked it yeah I'm pretty sure it was in daycare daycare rough you not know it go to some like fancy French day care about the bar fight now I don't hear about Brandon daycare fight like I want to hear about it did you get an owie the first time I don't like that guy yeah take care yeah I know I'm selling you out of people who can I mean kids are bored you don't have a lot of stuff to play with so you can play with touching High to play prison violence is like what entertains people I mean it said you don't have shakes but like I mean that you're you're at daycare for like 12 months out of the year over the course of like I don't know how many years your life that's going to happen you know it's not often but you know there's what happened do you know it was probably just some trash talk and then some kid got pissed and the track me in the eye and then there's another and my parents were proud of me the first time and then those another time where I came out ahead and punch the kid in the lid and I didn't have a black eye my parents were not happy but you know kids getting fighting daycare do you have in an asshole like I'm not I was in a bully I've never known anyone I never got enough I do anybody out there Studio here no 101 no really and no the only one Brandon don't act like one time and I remember to this day I remember was playing on the playground and we are playing around and I like head-butted a girl in the stomach but it was an accident and I felt really really bad we're just like I don't know like it wasn't acting like we're just like running on thing and somehow I ended up thinking like went down a slot I feel like it was a slide that was momentum and I hit her in the stomach with my head and then she was like she started crying and I felt really bad I don't think that counts as a fight you should make she went to the same day cares I did if it was like a rough rough day can you remember Zen What hey what what would happen if you'd like if you like punching bag thing the Celia Johnny yeah we went to the same day care in the same Elementary School I think we are think we're the elementary school at the same time but I don't know about daycare yeah animal after she had some hours of boobies so relaxing what that we wrap up here pretty soon I think I told Chris this yet but I've been trying to force myself to re-watch the Star Wars prequels lately I don't think I've seen him since they came out in theater haha fucking terrible so bad streaming through 15 minutes okay that's enough you need to have a hobby did have something else going on you have to be an arts and crafts nursing I've only done Phantom Menace and attack of the Clones I got I got camera which is why you made it you made it you know the third one's the best of the three I forgot that an attack of the Clones they don't even get to like the fight on Geonosis until like an hour and 45 minutes into the movie it's like an hour and 45 minutes of love scenes on Naboo and fucking finding the cloners and yeah and there's some rough performances like I remember you messing with you and McGregor and some like slugs Chef show me but it looks like Ewan McGregor like Obi-Wan is like hitting or flirting with the slug and just like his there like a romantic pass their history and then like his team with Christopher Lee like they're built like these are such good actors in these performances are so terrible it's so bad it's almost funny I thought you did put your shoes awakens I know I don't know about people I'm fixing to the prequels that it's cats two of them I can't bring myself to do it you said about noon I'm ready I want to see a proper don't want to watch what I want alright so thanks for watching Everybody if you're watching live on Monday stay tuned for CCTV cow chop is doing their first-ever podcast right after us right there on the funnest set down on the 1st I go to their podcast now and break something that they like so if you guys next week