#433 - Sticks and Flowers

Join Brandon Farmahini, Blaine Gibson, Chris Demarais, and Joel Heyman as they discuss drinking excessively, painful procedures, pets, and more on this week's RT Podcast! This episode originally aired on June 12, 2017, sponsored by MeUndies (http://bit.ly/2aGm9yg), MVMT (http://bit.ly/2n2cNFN), NatureBox (http://bit.ly/2n25cac)

Link: http://roosterteeth.com/episode/rt-podcast-2017-433-sgh8hj

Recorded: 2017-06-13 16:00:00

Runtime: 01:33:48 (5628.14 seconds)

Participants: Brandon Farmahini, Blaine Gibson, Chris Demarais, Joel Heyman

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    "brandon farmahini"
    "blaine gibson"
    "chris demarais"
    "joel heyman"
    "funny"
    "comedy"
    "gaming"
    "video games"
    "e3"
    "food"
    "drinking"
    "me vs drunk me"
    "impressing women"
    "turbulence"
    "planes"
    "trave"
    "kidney stones"
    "xbox one x"
    "anthem"
    "minecraft 4k"
    "tuna recall"
    "social disorder"
    "rutabaga"
    "spacex"
    "ub"
]

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Audio:

Transcript (in progress):

welcome to the RT Podcast my name is Brandon I'm Chris I'm the Raffaello and this episode of the Rich Podcast is brought to you by me undies movement watches and nature box that's me undies movement watches and NatureBox very important question when getting drunk before you're getting drunk is there a particular food do you want to aim for that's better coming out later you have like a specific like go to like this won't hurt me as bad later I never drink to to get like so wasted that I'm going to throw never happen for overcoming hangovers which is just vomit out the very very healthy way home after a great night go to my toilet bomb it as much as I could intentionally intentionally bombing wise you just saw a holding and your body is just processing that alcohol and getting drunker and drunker and drunker then wake up in the morning feel like a million bucks get some breakfast have some eggs and like whistle that method makes perfect sense but I can't imagine that is good for your body like your teeth and your esophagus and all that acid and doing it like everyday for every meal also someone recently told me that if you drink you don't drink you eat charcoal full thing not like I'm not saying go get charcoal from your barbecue thing there's like charcoal capsules okay that's what they give you whenever you have like you get poisoned or something yeah the charcoal and that what's going on with the coal industry in America that's opening up your self yeah I know you up I was aiming to you not I was not able to barf I don't know anything about the drunk interview plane to throw up I swear to God what had happened was alright so how how this thing is filmed is we go in we film our sober cells we ask the questions at the drunk cells are going to be answering so then after are sober souls are done talking then we go and we start just drinking we start getting shots to start getting drunk and then how it was supposed to go was it was going to be me get interviewed then Ashley and then Paris Beacon-News you me and then me Chris and Ashley at the same time so I couldn't get drunk and I was drinking and I was like no no no more so what happened was I was supposed to go first I couldn't get drunk so then I think Chris got wasted really quick so then create Chris was a lightweight and then he jumped in front of me oh barf Warning by the way I needed to tell everybody that if you're watching the video podcast you're about to see bar labares funny so Chris jumped in front of me she said my puke then cuz like there's vomit at all of that same set cat piss real like everybody like I thought he was until he just started darling you got on the front page of Reddit right that's all you have to do people like puke that's all you have to do it's a breath of his belt one of those things like you know your parents your grandma showing off all your stuff like look I'm so proud of them that my acting real or when you run for political office play what's the weirdest thing he could still in the post Trump era vomiting on himself is not going to be a hang-up yeah yeah I think you're probably true what did you put a head on it you said something to blame I look back in your wearing a hat wait till later when you find out your wall is gone or is it going to say go into one of your shooting a truck do you have to get back to me on that I think I've done some pretty stupid stuff that I have to like really think on what's the craziest thing I did Chris yeah you know nothing comes to mind right now I'm sure I've done a lot of things in this hard to pick just one says a couple weird stories and the first thing I thought about was Blaine some sorry about that blank there was a kid who was trying to impress this girl he was with so he jumped in a crocodile pit to try to like show off how like manly he was I don't know if there's a follow-up to it like I saw story last week where was like man gets eaten by crocodile so I don't know if it's the same story or is it not the same story I think just like it worked the woman was impressed with him but he was dead I'll have a happy marriage and his injuries to his arm you know like buildings into pools I mean some of that was for me it wasn't to hurt a girl but we did go camping forever ago, that's why we went swimming the day we were going to leave in like so there was like these different tiers of cliffs right and everybody's dropping off this one that was like I'd say like 10 to 15 feet high right and then there was another one that hire it was like like 30 ft remember and I got up there and starts in the water and you can see the people this is this is bad because they're people I recognize our people I'm higher than when you get to the point where they like so how you like those are abstract shapes yeah I think those people could be just right there just released the more abstract gets the better we just got to keep going so I could and then I look down and then like mid thought I was like this is too high I threw myself off because I knew I was going to talk myself out of it that I was going to make it I was looking down the entire way and I ended up like punching myself with water because my feet went through and I just went to Landing in the water the cool Factor if you hold your nose while you job cuz I've done that before like impressive job but like if you pull it off is like a cool you know knows like it was restaurant about it was not know I was that you're acting like you look like okay everything wear blue though he was green line just like with the ZIP down thing and you can't when you walked in your hair was wet looking up to the same thing like I don't know why these came out in pairs but there was this kid who wanted to ask a girl from prom for to prom and you know how like that can get in high school like super elaborate well it's a small town I guess so his parents talked to the police department and like work with them to come up with like an elaborate way for this guy to ask his girlfriend like to the prom and so the police stopped him while he's driving in the car and his girlfriend's in there and then they come in and they searched and they find drugs and they start grilling everybody in the car grab the guy put him in handcuffs and then the girl like finds like the bag of weed and there's like a little note in it like you know look behind your some ridiculous thing and she looked and he holding a sign that just says will you go to prom with me tell me she said no she said yes she goes to jail me the template for effort I mean like somebody moral dilemmas when you're a woman it's so hard decisions you have to make I would you should say no right I would I mean I don't the hardest thing I ever had to do so I can press a girl as work at a company for 15 years based around internet cartoon yeah the thing you learned pretty quickly as that girls do not care how many Twitter followers you have you cannot throw that down casually in a conversation and expect anybody to be impressed by that socially since like yeah my girlfriend is like a bigger social media following now that I do she doesn't care play the Jesus one of their like family dinners will I who is it go she's in LA right now she's ahead of blank my distance can work out if you're able to exist on your own but if you're independent people are you living an independent city are you in a relationship yeah okay like is it open relation to get in but if we do tomorrow night what's going on but even if they were it seems like SimCity like she couldn't date you in Austin if it's local and then you texted me saying like I see you at the airport yeah sounds like what the phone lot and I saw him and I thought it was a car we drive your Honda and I texted you and said you were there in your explanation was that you were out there filming something he'll I was waiting for Paula's plane to come in and so I was and it was weirdly delayed so I was like well I'm right next to the runway be kind of cold till I get over to where the the the plane landing but it was a weird thing cuz there's like apps where you can track planes in real time like so far behind Atlanta time in there was like a plane in front of them and then I checked like 5 minutes later and like that plane like did a circle so her plane could land and I was just like what's going on and at that point she was able to text me issues like oh God turbulence so bad worst I've ever liked experience in the plane before like freaking out and I was like this is terrifying cuz something could happen and I'm here to record it keep recording this or not like is it for like you do he answers yes if we had kids if you want to do things to share like is the pilot was like everybody needs to sit down and strap in no matter what you cannot get up if you have to go to the bathroom hold it have you ever been on a plane where turbulence has gotten so bad that they're actually like okay everyone just go ahead and you need to tuck over like put your head between your knees have you forgotten that one time hands down into your crotch area like this is not good never in one movie has that happened where she didn't happen after you get the last thing you get to view in the world is your own crotch he died as he lived this crazy shit that happens in playings like there's a story I want to mention the airline cuz I don't want us to get sued because they're denying it but like a lot of passengers say their pilot turn on the light radio and said hey we're having some technical issues with the plane we're going to take a vote who wants to make the flight regardless and who wants to just stay and so fun to be a drunk pilot and so they had a boat and I think like yeah they had a bone I think like they ended up like going on the flight even know if I believe a story any more less or is it like 27 iPhone camera views of it as passengers on board that there was only a 50-50 chance that he would be able to get both engines working according to the Bristol Post this is not us so please do not sue us I mean like that's life I mean I got to say basically every flight I've ever been on in my entire life of the pilot came on said all I wanted to do is work on my talking go there's not a single fight right there no more it's like well I don't know we were stopping wait for another agent fuck it I'm ready let's go no man like the flight out of New York that they ran into a bunch of birds and the birds went into the turbine engines and knocked out both engines Sully movie yeah yeah yes and if you're in the ocean land in the ocean you are flat surface there was like an it's not a stable surface it's it's going to be easier to find them because it's like a little more calm so you can crash into a wall basically cuz there's no way that you're going to just like land like I mean planes have people have survived like there have been times where people landed on the ocean you rather crash land on ground in the ocean like when we're on ground and one more not taking off I will talk so much about this no tuck before I'm okay it's take off and over water or over Oceans Where I'm like sucks you're over water over the ocean I am I am gone I have it if I go down like on land I feel pretty good I got feel like I have a good chance to survive a pretty sick satisfaction I even sleep like in the crash position stop forever ago and you have like a kidney stone yeah I bet that was fun that was great I just you just drunk as shit out yourself that's how you get through life I'm not going to lie on that flight I took like a Tylenol PM to Vicodins I can't even and I just took everything and it didn't do anything and then you get to Australia and in Australia everything is legal everything is legal in Australia you go to the pharmacy and they had something called code on which is a cold medicine and it just coding it's just coding would you can't get any us you can in Australia you can just walk up and get codeine and Viagra and just buy it and just no problem and it took a tiny I took a half I took a half of a codeine codeine and on the way back play codeine and it was the whole time there's legal there's another person at the company who is like Joel Viagra no problem here you should go and buy some for me there and I felt really bad I know who do yeah but I got some people do you play AG recreationally I don't want to deal with that I don't want to deal with the bonus I got a question right apparently you get in trouble if you don't tell your partner that you taken the Viagra because sometimes feelings get hurt sometimes they say because you know you don't like me enough you need a truck I mean you know what happened but there's been times where I wasn't able to go and in the person took offense to that wound feel like you just not think I'm pretty it's like no I just it's where I can't go it's cuz you were puking probably puking yeah I was there last year and I did practice and homework this year which is the game that is meant to emulate at 8:15 as possible in 4k this is where we are as a society also Skyrim's coming to yet another funny I saw that but how do you have you been following this do you feel anything about the new Xbox I've been watching all of it Microsoft press conference like they didn't have any like huge things that impress me like in have any like Halos are Gears of War but they did go into you Besar not you saw that new you look like Iron Man basically yeah fucking thing that they do in every video game conference where they they fake a co-op party they did it for the division last year where it's like people playing Co-op together and where they're laughing and making jokes with each other it's so fucking annoying yeah that's something they've really need to like you can't fake like they they got to stop doing that it's like a weird it's like listening to a let's play where the script the let's play scripted it's really awkward do you say where the book like a YouTube guy who's funny and good at it and still comes off wrong yeah right where it's just I don't know what the deal is like if games aren't ready at the time or it's like if they have to hit so many markers it just becomes too stilted even still because they've done like live like that was obviously like the people were playing the game that was all the scripted bullshit but like there's been times where they'll have people come out and we'll play it like let's play Rainbow Six Siege and there's like four players all on stage playing simultaneously and it's the most awkward bullshit ever cuz they're like fake the video game playing yeah it's like it just doesn't work it's like it's like this is why we need Viagra I don't know me just has more processing power in 4k ready but it's backwards compatible for all the existing libraries but there's going to be no unique titles for the news for the for the game ever I don't know if I could be wrong Xbox One Xbox right now to have Xbox One S in an Xbox One X Lucian better processing power it's just supposed to hand over all just a little bit better let me the big thing for it right is it a resolution to be added to the point where I'm just sort of like back in the 90s it was a big deal to me it was like new hardware specs it was very important and graphic graphic jumps were very important to me care about that anymore now I just want a menu the mix from fucking sense to turn on my Xbox menu and like a game plan now versus like I don't know graphic because it's never going to stop but it also like I don't even know like if I'm to the point where VR means that much mainly van slyke to VR titles like doom and something else there's some Elijah Wood thing that they have no idea like I was in the middle of a meeting so I took my hat is associated with the title now like I took my headphones off yeah it's wrong because I tweeted out that anytime what's a big huge old Old Spice Guy why I was trying to like watch trailer gametrailers but I couldn't have audio so watching all the games of the audio and then his Terry Crews yes like Crackdown 3 and then he started cruising associated with one of the funniest things the world in Summa shoots a gun they say a word to emphasize a point so that he did that and was cracking up taking some we just ate like a lot of people to like this is horribly and healthy and terrible but in the other people who like they're like video and I was like that was like easily one of the worst that the next day was were the worst days that I missed a flight to Alana's birthday in San Francisco it was the worst hangover I had yeah of course that like why would I do all that work for nothing I'm that's weird to me or do I have putting it but he sure I understand things any more people didn't like vomiting yeah I worked on a project and we had to send out notes to somebody it was the emergent that he the racing one you'll be had a really fight for the vomiting here's a thing like that let's cut out for seconds of it especially milk oh yeah that was a great mom and vomit through your nose and I'll came out it's fine cancer your nose if you're ever vomiting if you're like 14 and listening to us stop listening to us but if you're still don't but if you do when you thrown up later mouth open mouth open if you have to cough or sneeze just fight just fight through it just get it through out the out part don't go to the news you're going to feel burning in your sinuses and chunks okay you want to know the worst thing that can happen to a man ever turned out a natural feelings okay you took your Viagra and you vomited medical issues and boy when you get old it's fun so I so I had head have a scoping of my bladder I've had have a lot of fun scoping a scoping of your black was he needed that and that's when they take a camera and they put it into your bladder gets ejected through that but that's not how they do it apparently you do it is you go into the room and there are these things hanging from the wall there the most horrible things you ever seen in your life and then there's a chair and the chairs horrible to this and then there's like there wasn't stubs but there could have been and then there was like a blanket and the blanket thing and then you and then you sit down in the chair and then the guy comes in the room and goes it take your pants off now or the blanket you okay and he's like are you allergic to iodine and I'm like well I haven't even met you before and then he they put iodine on your things and then the doctor comes in later and then he goes hey did you see that basketball game last night and that's where they have you because that's where they've started the light what's the doctor start szalai you like oh yes doctor I did see the basketball and that's when they go in for the kill are they going for the kill like he's tricking you like he's distracting you looks like in basketball I'm not going to lie to you this isn't going to be great but if it's not as bad as you think it's going to be where but here's the thing those fuckers and I've had to do this multiple times now so that use multiple time the first time was after passing kidney stones which is already those painful goddamn thing you can ever do in your life and after you pass kidney stones there's parts of your internal organs that are a little bit raw and then after that a little bit while then e-cig Medical Clinic past the same area okay to be clear with you that's painful at that time I went it was like a love literally week I was walking around like for like a week I was like this is and I knew I had to go back this is her I went back and I was like this is going to be horrible to be horrible and it was bad and and they're going in there it's like short drill for oil I know like they're like don't worry as soon as we hit to the fracking stage won't be as bad so they get to like that I feel bad but it's not as bad you're like okay and the funny thing is too they're like the doctor's like you're going to have the urge to tighten up and don't do that and of course like if eyes like that because it's like something inside of you as I get it out like all your muscles like that's why you have asked muscles and muscles in your growing some reason for all this muscles is like get it out of me and Jedi Knight II like breathing and fuck you people who give birth giving birth to children have to go through let me tell you something about mathematical ratios okay it's this big it's this big and it's not meant to get bigger you guys are meant to get for your flowers bloom you fuckers are flowers we are not fucking flowers we're fucking sticks you don't stick as sick as I know stick that was supposed to go go ghost decals put stickers on it that's against nature that's a good picture of so God damn it before going to sit there and do their job is to get it not explain to the state that's not going to be fun so is it looking cord like a to me I'm listening have you ever seen The Matrix that hang on the wall you know I'm like laying in the chair the doctor goes you know most people don't look hi Mike I'm not going to look I'm not going to look I don't want to look what was it like I made that mistake when I was seven cousin operation on my leg and the doctor like want to watch them like yeah I don't know how you do the same thing like 5 years ago and they were just like well you know we're just on here won't put curtain if you want to go look at was like you know what I don't want that image burned in my mind I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night like with that like a nightmare being chased by one of those probes so like it was my second fucking time right so I get through with it and I remember telling that dude because he remember me from last time ago who is it Go who won who screamed and cried I remember you remember me I agree okay so that's great and I remember telling him up front I was like yeah that was the most horrific Lee painful thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life I couldn't walk for a week he's like oh and I guess apparently what happened to me was not ordinary because I guess it was worth for me cuz he's like oh oh because when it came back after the procedure he's like well here is some pills and here's a green pill the green pill is going to turn your new roommate chicks trap so will turn blue and then you won't and it did it turn my urine blue and and it's not nearly as painful and I was like I was like I literally was like where where was that pill last time a like we were probably out we go through all the time and I don't how much money is going into medical facilities don't run out of pill is another pill please schedule for the pill so that's bad that's all bad and by the way if you're a dude if you're a dude guess what you are getting prostate cancer they're getting prostate cancer you get to live long enough to get prostate cancer if your dude you get to live long enough to get prostate cancer so they got real quiet in here all the sudden all the Laughing stop you know we suck everything sucks about us suck and I member thinking how depressing it was coming you're all just was a much older man yeah and I remember thinking like has seen my penis longer than anybody else in the last 3 months no girl has seen my junk and 50 year old nude has seen my check before the light at least they don't like it when you're cracking jokes cuz like sometimes I'd some surgeries in there and it's like Ring went like to the Naval Academy and oh my God what's the name of the Hat me first hahaha laughing my nuts that's a great idea I'm going to see the guy who has a knife can laugh a lot wow is it like is it like subtle and slow or do they like well the funny thing about unbelievable magnified pain beyond all realm of reality as it when you feel that something that's super painful is relief pulling out pulling out is massively was painful but it was a relief because it wasn't as painful as good as you know you're sitting there he's like I just another minute just take Autumn book around but why do you keep asking questions how do they strike it up my dick is giant so it was I don't know there is there's there's there's lick there's liquid things that they use I don't think it was like Cherry scented like it just something wrong bullshit but the only thing should be flavored cherries is fucking chairs and Sherry suck that she's the worst Sherry's Cherries are sexy and nice if your girl or if you're Pac-Man but I don't want to go to drinks but you can't eat them like you can't have a cherry by itself as me like a cocktail near it or not sponsored by cherries all fruit I mean what is the fucking point of fruit it's all this weed chocolate now so yeah I mean I agree Joel's a horrible experience I mean the best thing you can do is like to take care of yourself afterwards like getting a nice pair of me undies wow that's the reason we've been telling you about me on these for months now they are simply the softest most comfortable underwear you'll ever wear once you try them you won't want to wear anything else unless you're naked or in swimsuit for every other second of your life there's me undies every pair of me undies is sustainably-sourced and made from micro modal and fabric that's three times softer than cotton if you're used to buy packs of uncomfortable boring underwear that can only come in white grey black or tan me undies will change everything because me undies comes in all kinds of colors and patterns and they released a new limited-edition pattern each month and always sell out this month is a rainbow confetti print called celebrate try me undies today go to the celebrate pattern before they're all gone at me undies.com Rooster Teeth and you'll save 20% off your first pair you have to feel for yourself to see why me undies has sold over 5 million pairs to date and if you don't love your first pair of me undies there free get 20% off your first pair plus free shipping at me undies.com RoosterTeeth right now that's me undies.com roosterteeth.com Rooster Teeth and tell you like you get a pair of these in you got to get rid of your old underwear live from experience goodwill one not take your old underwear is the definition to know ya I can see that you like a ski mask not the same but it's been there's Bendix all over it then asshole that you can be dicks over anything Mexican blankets you don't know where the vix of enthir get all over the place speaking around medical horrible stories I have to tell you I have a deep sense of regret for opening my mouth go ahead now about to die everytime I tell the story of Mike with a fuck that tells a story but go ahead I'm just trying to ease the pain so I used to wipe so hard that I would just get blood like in my stool like everytime I wipe their blood is very question it like a fast rub like how you just like use like digging I want to be here as least amount of time as possible I don't want to be here any longer than I need to be if I need to add pressure speed and velocity is my time that makes sense to me yeah yeah and so I got to be such a problem that like sometimes it looked up the toilet bowl to be like red blood mean there's like you did you think you were pregnant so I told my mom cuz my mom and I are so sorry can we girl in act so I'll be your mom mom yes yes honey money I've haven't like some some issues like I'm kind of hurt myself in the toilet when I wipe it in sometimes it's in the stool yeah just like I have blood in my ass what am I so she takes me to an ass doctor on other call doctors that's right in this guy here that said I'm on a submission some play bend over no he's like he basically just been me down so I was like on for hours in doggy-style basically I think this was also the doctor that was like oh don't worry I see the boys like this all the time and it was like cool oh no yeah yeah he's like I see these all the time was his word so basically they decided to to cauterize the wound which further you don't know that means fire very a red-hot piece of metal sticking it in my ass so I'm sitting there and then he's like okay this is going to hurt a little bit and then it just goes I can actually hear it and it hurt really bad and then I smelled like a hamburger like Ora so Joel you know we all have our things can you eat meat what do you feel like when you going to McDonald's now it smells like ass burn if you go to the dentist right and then use a laser sometimes you'll smell that or maybe that's just the difference is the quality of different enough to face it sounds I think it smells probably burning flesh as burning flat yeah I was clean though that's the point of this whole story I wipe so hard I was so the treatment would you bother going to the doctor or would you just like just do it at home no I sometimes if I get them any more than I just like I have swiped very lightly from that I have a question how how as your friend if I was to be like hey Blaine I have a problem I need your help with will you caught her up would you do it what kind of depends right because there's gradations there right I mean there's like there's there's there's like the ass and then there's like there's other more weird thing the inner sanctum the Ender sanctums does we were when we were on the go90 thing we were like hahaha will this be funny let's do a bit where we take one of us out to get her asshole bleach and it being like the most complicated thing in the world getting your ass hole bleached is a huge ordeal it's a really big deal in your asshole bleached I know it's so specialized you cannot do asshole bleaching in Austin that's that's on zoning man they just don't enough asshole bleached sounds like you need to make sure cuz it's going to burn I wasn't I had no I was I'd no problem I was going to do it until after we like start interviewing asshole bleaching experts and they will scare the shit out of you think you'll be like Lily. Literally there's a lot that can go wrong it's all fun and games you think it's funny but they you could end up dead how did he die officer did you pick a shape I didn't get that far but I guess there are Shades so playing different call the real meaning of shades of what I think would help you can demonstrate exactly how monster is she like you like destroyed your ass so about that's too many it's typically like four squares right yeah and then you fold them cuz you're not a monster you don't want and then you stick it I got your hand like so and then my pinky is super strong so this is another you got to stick it up right let know know like like do this yeah and then it goes really the pressure on you is like this is like the worst secret handshake of all time he also spit on my face from behind two people that wipe from the front I don't know how to do that with the ball situation going on I don't know why you would do that it's not it's not possible flexible you are crazy mirror houses you know where kid Carnival and there's all the mirrors and see a pretty in the middle of a house of mirrors and justification for House of mirrors I can think of in the cops, they try to find you but like I keep running into the mirrors cuz I can't tell exam so I think we all want to UT right and remember the thing they tried to scare you with the most as soon as you get there is like you're going to get an STD there's no way to avoid it is going to find you and is going to just infect you everywhere so always been like super paranoid but I made it right and I thought of been like on easy street but like apparently I think they found hepatitis A in some tuna a couple weeks ago and had to do like a national recall like I never heard like being able to get an STD like that from like shit you eat talking about like the worst like how did you get an STD story point of where you going to have a pleasurable experience I don't know if you're in a committed relationship or marry if the tuna sandwich well no and then they like you know you see if it comes like how did you get this like are you cheating on me like send a baby baby baby it's just the tuna I was somehow to find you know there's some people who got hepatitis another way or like yes it was a sushi Kula I can understand how these microphones work for complicated is Hepatitis A worse than b or c I don't know his first an alphabet we not have a doctor on staff during the podcast all the time the doctor and Sciences can somebody else at the company who had that thing who had that thing with the Fisher story guide to shit out of me I was like oh my God I hope it sounds like but he was playing video games on I think on a flat falling on concrete floor is that all that's a healthy but why can't we get sponsorship from like hemorrhoid cream or other but related stuff I can spend an hour on General like those are easy transition you're pretty par for the is it this relationship oh I don't know for sure if you was now where I was pulling in to I was like to go riding with you I told you the story so Chris and I are meeting at I can't remember what coffee shop and basically I was in the right lane and then this girl was going to turn in and she was in the other lane so she was going to have to cross my line of traffic to get into the parking lot right now but since I was like I the right of way so I just turned in and then I immediately find a parking spot so pulled in got the parking spot and in that girl came in behind me and there's no parking spots left and in that moment I realized I took the spot she probably spotted from the road she's already been waiting I'm I'm such an asshole so she's going to keep my car look like a dick I didn't even know the girl I just thought it was person so I see her park and I walk up to her and I say is there a difference between a girl and a person so my motivation might change based on like some people might perceive my motivation is changing depending on Whose Girl a guy you know how old man old woman or something like that basically I walked up to her and I'm so sorry I feel awful that I just try to be nice when you're asking a buyer that absolutely sounds like a come on like the worst come I knew it was all so cute I was she was genuinely like just trying to be nice cuz I did feel bad she's been waiting for the spot and then she was like no I'm going to just like a walk past me you didn't think of offering her the spot you know it's like you get your car on your mind let's like I'm really really sorry but not that much I'm only a little bit sorry to the point where maybe I will spend $2 on you but I'm not move my car I think the free coffee is more valuable than decent parking spot not at all that Starbucks is hell I mean the all the parking spots are fucking way too fucking small and they're all like sideways that that that part is there's an engineer somewhere who's like I want to kill some people and you may like you have to have like a baby on the way and you have to be pregnant and have to have it a lot like sexism things happening now we're like you can only get here exactly right where the parking spots and that mall are getting more and more like there's more more layers it's like you have to have any car you have I park in the same time to make me feel bad it's like hey you poor mother fucker parking lot have spots input parameters on three of them in the story I did feel awful about it I try to get her some coffee and then by the end of it she not only thought that I was trying to that I stole her parking spot but that was trying to pick her up and I just felt like such a fucking goober like she she probably thought I was like the grossest person ever and just like I told Chris is really crazy I mean there are people who like her that much though so if you have an out it's true it's true I went to that phase early in life by the way if you super like coffee or food or anything like that you like I'm just going to hit it real hard my twenties you're going to pay for that shit later your people that shoot later with kidney stones and tubes and things getting up your junk Chris how long ago did you do the social disorder like the city hall 1 City Hall of the city hall one that was like your half ago is a small town that we're like people crazy in it or was it all like pretty mundane no just us yeah I don't mean to the other I was there filling in the only other people that were talking really companies in hey thanks for walking us to your community at City that's that's that's how it works now will I've seen the like a lot of Austin city hall like I think any like actual cities they have like crazy people that show up like I've seen people like a spin class in yes apparently there was a guy who went to a city hall meeting in a city in Maine and was really pissed about the policy that they were passing so instead of going up there and just kind of bitching for 10 minutes he brought bed box and releases like a bed bugs everyone and if you ever had bed bugs you know what that looks like you have to like burn your apartment down to the ground if you get them chemical warfare in the area since I don't have a bag I don't know what I think if we can find a picture of it but I don't even understand how that makes any sense because if you're around a bed bug like you know lots of spider web and you don't find the spider like bed bugs you're not going to be able to track all the bedbugs if you're near the bed bugs if you want to throw bed bugs on people you're committed game bed bugs yourself yeah that is too bad it's bad it's bad there's no you know what's good you know it's good in life movement watches this episode of rooster Rooster Teeth podcast this episode of the receipt broadcast is brought to you by movement watches the watch they set me is great you can actually check it out I don't know if we can get a close-up of that I'm just going to hold that right here watch they 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That's mvmt.com movement watches make great gifts whether you're celebrating a red or your dad Father's Day is coming up so so keep that in mind movement is the perfect place to shop go to mvmt.com Rooster join the movement I just I just have people sending me like that lesions of hepatitis B now sending me coupons for Viagra from this podcast even take but you know that would be fun well this is great alright I'm claiming this idea basically you get like 10 dudes and then you have 10 pills nine placebos one by our entire show or whatever it activity trying to figure out who got the butter Philly fun also wanted to be no no no no whenever you really young and you want to buy condoms did you feel like I need to buy other stuff at the gas station yet okay so if you want it get a Viagra prescription from a doctor would you go and like just pretend you have like other symptoms as well oh my arm hurting and so scared irritation located on my genitals is there anything to make it longer and easier to scratch as I can't get in their products that you bought to compliment it's really about creating visual barriers on the checkout stand what are the condoms in there and he can open you make a little door for the guy could be taco bar that used to have them by on my condoms am I lose I never even technology yep then they have to feel they have to do it but there were in the shirt if you can buy no it's going to judge me, this guy is super weird you can do anything you want if you're wearing a favor shirt and Society you can just get away with anything you want to do why is there bugs around here can we do a favor where we ask him to go and buy the most embarrassing what would be the most embarrassing thing creams probably giant dildo thing with anal fissure fissure fresh offer what we need to do is okay we have like say it's the four of us and then we all get three products from one grocery store it has to be the most awkward embarrassing thing we told reaction so I would naturally go like cucumber condoms and Lube know you can be way more fun stuff than that I don't know like the crap by using baby food like machine you know but the order it's like no matter what is it dick machine a machine that's a dick or a dick that has like a dildo play cup it has like a motor you know and it's like like it goes like this and I think it's electric I don't know if there's like a hand-crank like an old model T to power it but I mean it's a lot of fun stuff you need to take the card and it was really hard rutabagas are hard to find our fans like you reach out to them on Twitter you're like no seriously follow me know seriously follow me like I'm not sure how am I going to follow me follow me and then they follow you like listen I need to say vegetables in like I need your address and they will not cough up their address I'm like listen give me a fucking address I'm going to send you rude Vegas they will fight you are fans are tough they know they know they look like they don't fuck around are smart they know how to defend themselves from like online hackers weird stuff we have to look up online for various things like I mean I've looked up a ton of dick pics by bunch of crazy shit dude that was literally a computer for 4 months look at a dick pic Pac what you search for I had to pendant sell ads based on that I had to go there's like a file that says like Brandon farmahini with like all of the like disgusting shit because of your idea you were like I here's a great idea there was a drug on the go now sir there's a guy there's a dick that makes you pass drug tests look like a fake dick you can fill with like whatever liquid you want and then you have to wear this dick can you put the liquid in there and then with a dude is watching you go to the bathroom he sees a dick and you can cheat through drug tests at school right sewer like this is amazing technology if we use it I had it and then I had to take pictures of that me wearing I just take pictures in my pants of that thing and then send it to him I'm like the interstate now thinks I'm the most disgusting person ever and that order form had my name on it is it a good looking dick we got like we got that we can have like Jewels we need Fake Plastic diamonds and jewels on there I can't remember exactly with something stupid about broadcasting dick pics in space or something like that like aliens I don't know what it was exactly but so I found like a satellite dish that had like 10 solar panels and put you note in dick pics on those panel I was good and that was it was surprised that was going to dinner and you're the Banksy of the disturbing image world it was impressive it was a good time I want rudabakers now rent a lawyer or a doctor rudebaker need a lawyer or a doctor and some rutabagas as soon as possible I'm going to jail this is got going to be good for me cuz now it's like a Hollis play a joke on Joel We will send the cops to get him arrested and then I'm going to fight him and then I'll really go to jail but he'll be a real cop and then you'll never see me again silk I said this to you I don't know if you find this article as terrifying as me because the government's terrifying apparently SpaceX is launching a secret Air Force Space plane is the secret military plane if there's an article saying we're launching a secret plane. That secret anymore but then you think about all of the stuff that it's going to do bet they're not telling you and that's what I figured I come from that's where I think the secret I didn't know was going to do what could it do that we would Nori have a guest set like what technology exists that we don't know about yet at this point right they have like lasers that can shoot down missiles we have spy satellites that can see into your brain and read your thoughts maybe not that far but like what is the what technology could possibly possess write all that much of a better camera what what I don't know it's hard we don't eat or to like think about what could have just cuz we don't know I can so much a technique and shoot ribbon by military funds like developing looking for new stuff I'm I'm I'm I'm skeptical I'm skeptical of any government money being spent on musk at this point I think we need to stop writing people fucking check so he just got off of the couple of my cabinets what are those things called yeah whatever he jumped off of whatever I don't give a fuck he's like that he like has its going to get financial here they have like 7 billion dollars set aside in the in the in the battery company for like RDA spent all that money gone he's like holding he's holding like a hundred million dollars worth of that thing on Leverage that's not on Leverage that's not good or fundamental Tesla loses money on every car that they sell and it's only going to get worse and work there like Betty beta testing on the fucking streets their beta test on the fucking streets and other people about to enter the market he looking to have competition finally for the first time with cars it actually fucking work in are we know when they're getting released put it take it is that is it is it like the the Enron of today like Enron they they didn't post their financials they will do what they different they just kept making announcements in order to keep people's evaluations at their stock up and run without actually Rimadyl ever on with criminal I think my sister doesn't have it just he's not make money have you seen the smartest guys in the room the documentary is amazing anyone who hasn't seen it I highly recommend checking it out I was like the real money in his business is going to be the batteries cuz he built like the world's largest freestanding building and the cars were just a way to cube yeah like doing a lot of demand for a certain number in order to get the operation going and then they're going to start selling these batteries for other purposes around the world but I don't know shit I just guess it's like it doesn't seem like anything else they make like SpaceX just seems like it's throwing I don't know I can keep that a company should be a thing like an organization of people assets and whatever that produces money like that should be what it is right now maybe you have a deal where it's like we don't produce money yet but we're going to because of this and it's loaded it's there or whatever but it's like I don't see how they're going to make money money the difference in that cause especially with probably with what they pay an insurance because one of the rockets and meet loaded had a Facebook satellite in it and I mean they're building a whole new facility in south Texas like whatever they make it just can't be that much I mean they're not that many people who they can write that check to support that message but I don't know where basically for you King's its atmosphere the Earth rotates and then you come back down then you like supersede like miles of miles of travel I mean that's great I mean I'm all for the technology thing to be sexist researching I feel like that kind of dropped off the deep end I don't remember to get to space it's just like can you keep the credit expanding long enough so that we can do it yeah are you making on the government so kind of really transition stuff from NASA to you especially since NASA had a setback with their new not the Aries rocket a freak with they call it now the SLS we'll see I think there's a lot of things hoping for so like I hope I hope he pulls it off I just I wouldn't put my money in it Shine company in the operating like I don't know 500-600 City something crazy and they are just a black hole of cash like they just Hemorrhage money do you think they're trying to buy their time until they can transition completely into self-driving cars and eliminate the cost of drivers drivers doesn't actually make any money either but it's okay because if they wanted to they could and it's almost like the day basis is like art let's stop pushing forward and actually make money I'm worried what's going to happen to the stock to get a little dip at that point you know cuz once you get to that point then it's like you got a thing thing thing I'm freaked out on you I think I don't understand I'm scared to ask I don't I don't know if like I'm scared to hear something i-ight I just I don't I don't know I'll ask and you can deny it and refuse to answer but before we do that I want to tell you guys about nature box what do you do when you want a snack but all you can find is junk food rutabagas rely on your self-control to resist the temptation please that's please with a bunch of. 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50% off your first order when you go to naturebox.com RoosterTeeth that's naturebox.com percent off your first order naturebox.com thank you very much really really good snack and they were all like you know your mouth your that was good read does appropriately time I've looked buy stuff I don't understand the Bitcoin I think the values going up I don't let's I don't listen talk about Bitcoins if not can we just like not talk about this tell us about going out for some reason Chris Stapleton Joe the cat is unattended right now his parents are out of town Adam is watching Joe the cat I trust him he's got a way with cats and dogs I guess he kinda guess you kind of East master I guess he kind of does I don't know if you have any pets and what happened oh well no like they they're my parents pets well that doesn't count Brandon has Pat's yeah I do want you driving me crazy right now like a technophile meets animal lover it's amazing we were at night and your friend was like Brandon sent me a list of the top 25 pet gifts and raided them all yes you sent him that email yes every time I have a problem I search for Amazon for a solution I get it and I'm like all is great or I return it and it's horrible thing is those people have never had a dog before and the first dog that God is a I don't know what it it's giant so I feel it's it's like this is knowledge that's so useless once I have it I just want to forcefully pass it on to someone else they'd ask for it going to get like the pet number one I think I like a Mastiff right yes that is not the appropriate pet for pet number one like you don't want something whose poop is like bigger than your arm as your pet right yeah it's possible that is what we had a podcast Gus was talking about the substance that they're selling now that they talked about where it says black spray paint and you know I'm talking about where it absorbs all light I don't like they spray paint a basketball and absorbs all light it's so black if you see a picture of it looks like someone like photoshopped a black circle on to the picture that's Brandon's dog yeah you guys all went to the day five party on Friday right did how did that work out for you you you had some events it's good it's good we'll cuz the the teaser yeah went out on Friday I did it look guys did a good job on that there's a lot of actual buried stuff in that it's cool yeah you should watch it after the party at like you know end of the night kind of drinking stuff going looking going to grab a cab I bump into someone that I know was he in huddle but it's actually a bunch of people I don't know and then we're talking something in the like we're going to go back and you know drink and stuff on my cool yeah I was going to go home but why not keep hanging out and then because they're like oh we're going to go skinny-dipping like that sounds fine let's go skinny-dipping why not you know when you find yourself in a teen horror movie where I don't know it's like I'm just like yeah whatever get in the Uber so we're like 8 people crowd into one overall going to go skinny-dipping we go to this house and then you won't have any friends well I ain't know any of these people any one person series getting weirder and weirder I was drunk so I just decided to kill okay so one person that you may or may not know 700 and then and then and then so we go to this house and at this house and so weird house to because there's a stripper pole and then there's also a mannequin's like set up like this like posed mannequin like with clothes in the wig and stuff just and them like alright well we're going to go out and we're going to find a place to Skinny Dip and we're like walking and we're falling to leave this one girl who's very very drunk very very drunk and and we pass over like we passed by the river area and there's like this River and it's the rocks by it's a great area or later I don't know where we were they don't know where we were but let me ask you a question before you get any deeper where you get drunk enough where it's like I may not find my way out of this like you be like I need to figure out where I'm walking and it's Woods there's certainly no I didn't have any bread or anything okay but we pass by this great stream and like and then they're like no no no there's a better place this way then we start walking we were walking and people are like this is like drunk people no one has shoes or walking through the woods and no one has any everyone's phones are dead I have like 10% battery so every once in a while I'm like I will risk a light then I'm like hold the light so the people can climb over likes in can climb over like branches and stuff we're like walking through the woods 45 minutes 45 minutes at at at like at 3 or 4 at like 3:30 or so I'm like I think we should turn back guys I don't think this is like we're not going to find like you like the original settlers looking for the Pacific Ocean we really just my life and so I'm like I have to convince these a group of people I do not know like we have to head back we have to like we let's go back we can't go on any further and then I'm just like the random guy that's like and we do we go backwards okay so in the Axe Murder showed up no one killed us but I didn't get it was I got back we'll all one we went back to his apartment finders exhausted people are bleeding cuz if people drunk people falling into bushes and trees and things that the mannequin have been destroyed and in the meantime someone was left in the apartment that's a signal and then I was like I'm calling an Uber I got home its 5 a.m. and no skinny dipping every time in my life where I have been like so much wrong and that are friends of a Friends Place your friends our friends place and there's a mannequin and it's always fucking a mannequin with a friend of a friend right there's always that fucking guy and he has a mannequin that's never ended up good like no one's finished like I'm at the love of my life that night I woke up in my asshole it's always bad right I'm a little worried about you I don't know that you should be wandering around by yourself anymore after a couple drinks I made it out fine Chris made it out of the woods they were some people were bleeding but that's from the bushes in the trees in those Waters so what do you want the fuck you talking to take off your like stuff and let it float around everywhere fish or a child who's more offended here the Fisher Chris well I didn't make it because because we are lost in the woods for 2 hours to find like water like didn't have come upon that that that obstacle and when I got there I feel like I need to worry about you more parties now I feel like I need to keep an eye on you make sure everything is half of the party I know but I need to make sure you get to the Uber and then you're over to safety Chris is a violent drunk and also a coaster he will just like disappear you'll be hanging out with Chris had a great conversation you turn around a thanks for the drink he's gone like Christmas I go so bad I do then I might like everybody's having a great time and you just like disappeared and then it was me left to like you know look for just like where's the hell's going on with playing it was like fuck me I'm really bad at goodbyes love you all so much yeah it's just walking out no one's going to complain like I'm so disappointed I do that a lot 100 going around kicking all the computers and animation once you guys should once I never seen him belligerent I don't dip I'm a very much needed for longer than I've ever seen him this drunk this is my friend Chris Rock Island some kind of stroller or have him strapped to your stomach the first two hours I would probably be me rolling him around and by the third hour I would be dead that's how that would probably left them in the woods Woods I can't deal with this anymore I've been listen like you were in the city of Austin and like the whole time like hahahaha this is fine but like a case like I have been in the scenarios were just sort of like I'm rich drunk I'm in a foreign country I'm with a friend of a friend of a friend I'm in a field of things have gotten too far now I don't know what time it is or where I am or how to get it's like I drove your van that moment of like I could be truly fucked right now that I've had that lets like when you're hiking in the woods right where I am I know where I am I know where I am and it's like they're like in the Sierra Nevadas or whatever it's like I'm lost and it's like this is top people die by Compass you never lost me of a compass at having to be there is that the only Compass is the exist or on iPhones and when your iPhone doesn't work I was at 10% I was the only one with this to know like hey where was the highway that's over here and it's like I know it's wet so I'm just going to keep I'm going to keep on going to ask you a question for the first time I've had like every other iPhone since the very beginning of the release and for the first time ever I dropped my iPhone which it never happened for a cracked the screen Arizona jog house like they'll be fine by the time I got to the end of the entire screen was just like it was gone I was like a fuck I got to get a new iPhone that turned into a total disaster because I update don't if your phone breaks don't update during the middle of that transition cuz you're in now and your own nebulous World you'll never get fixed now I try to restore about a new iPhone tried to restore it and then I feels like what's your iTunes password to my ears lowered nope I went to the store and they like yeah your we don't know what we don't know where you are this is gone I lost all my lost half of my data like some of the day that was associated with that iPhone all night it's all gone I'm there it's gone yeah they don't fuck around like if if you can't get access to it through your back up security questions again and then you give me a new free screen does old iPhone and I still like I'm just screwed down as permanent been the new iPhone has a thing words like the haptic thing words like every time that you touch it or pick it up it just go to turn so now it's not going to fucking do it every time you every time it moves its going to turn itself on and I went into the haptic set I'm like turn off and it doesn't turn off there's no way to turn it off and I hate it like you and your Gilroy we were in the middle of a take I shouldn't tell the story high something bad happened like what would turn itself off it will turn itself on the like turn the iTunes on Sir playing music when it was not a good time to have that happen and I don't know how to like make it I do not like the new iPhone I really am worried about Apple everything depends David Dave in like holding out hope that their next iPhone is going to blow people away cuz the last one is is not a real update I didn't change though the form factor it's just a sec x 1 Xbox the biggest thing is they took out the camera updates really good but it's just like that that's not the first time they have an updated like the form factor on like a new iPhone like number it's like like you're saying it's like more like a you know 6ss not like a fucking if it's like not loving it I'm not love you do have an iPhone yeah I had to do you have anything do you have an iPhone how long have you guys had your phone's I mean like this specific one come you're not on the Apple ecosystem Motorola which was win razor feel like since the second or third iteration curious to hear from people who are we from people who've been living in the Apple ecosystem I would like fuck it I'm bailing I'm going to Android secure so how'd that work out good Saigon too invested at this point I have Ruffians text messages that I'm going to leave and like all my photos and degraded in it and I got it's like once you have like a laptop just destroy the mic it's it's it's it's just like it's just a whole thing it's I can't there's too much in my life I need to adjust I've never cracked and iPhone until this one my last version of this one and I remember getting on my car it slipped off my lap and I was like alright you know you had that moment where it's like the cracked it or not and you flip it up and sure enough there's a big fucking crack and then I remember it wouldn't turn on and I was like doing everything like right there and buy my car shattered it home I was through it down and it just God it's New Mexico no matter how many times you learn that lesson of like I'm angry I'm going to make things worse and then regret it later no matter how many times you live that lesson you still don't fucking guy broke another phone SIM early like I got pissed off at like a game or some news or something is a goddamn it and for some reason I think I was like it was like high school or college I'm shooting something at involve handcuffs so I had some prop handcuffs by me and I just went pick up the handcuffs and threw my phone and broke the screen so I guess it was like that okay yeah for me it's Saturday it's Madden online like you fucking well I didn't break the controller cuz they took tremendous job with fucking assholes like me it was a interception in the center like linebacker interception to fucking same bullshit no but it's just like I got so angry I took my controller and I started banging it on my shitty Ikea table to the point where either way if you're a listener of the podcast it would be great if you can go ahead and cut together Brandon is a story about the controller and his dog in the table I bet it's nice cuz it's like if I wanted to put my controller prop it up I could just like set it in my room and then eventually destroyed the disc I literally put in the microwave and destroyed it like that just make me angry best case scenario I was content with life but mostly like the game just made me like have you had anything to get a disc stuck in like a PS4 I had a diskette so I can PS4 and there's like instructions online of like the dis got stuck in the PS4 this is how you solve it it's like you go through and you have all this pain in the ass and it's like a thing with a gear that you got to get through and you turn the gear I turn the Gear 2 still like didn't fucking come out of the goddamn PS4 and at that point you're just like a guy like they purposely give you like Sharp Tools like the PS4 guys like how did you get your disk stuck in there what you need is a hammer the heaviest forever you'll also need like a chisel and a metal stick thing that Spokes and is hard and by the time you get to the point where you know the gear doesn't work or just like his hammer and this murder and that's the way how they sell more PS4s it makes perfect sense to me on purpose to like force people into downloading games because I like to drive technology getting worse and worse and worse and worse like I use my drive on my Xbox and it's like they didn't even the message pops up words like your your disk drive needs to be updated ha this is going to take a long time no I'm not going to do it nowrx fuck you I'm not update you can fuck yourself I'm tired of it I'm not going to need to update things anymore you just going to update your brakes I don't trust anything anymore I know they never my life it's the blue it's a Blu-ray player they want to update the Blu-ray player and I'm the fine I don't update a Blu-ray player that plays Blu-ray player you never got a VHS update true or dvd after I ordered Live Die Repeat and then the man from.uncle like movies that I haven't seen in awhile that I was like super stoked to watch again and I got them on the same day at different time. Server picking it up and bring it up and someone because Mary always like what you got there it was like I got a herpe it's really good have you seen it she's like to borrow it like thinking she wouldn't say yeah yeah sure I'll take it like I got a new package and it was Man from Uncle and cold was sitting there is it all what do you need to get there it was like oh it's man from.uncle like a really fucking sick spy movie it's a really dope dude you borrow it like thinking twice in the same day he's like yeah yeah I got DVDs like it was like 30 seconds from opening them to him somebody else you do nice things out of obligation I don't know I just like what it be nice and I'll get them back and watch them later tonight what's the cause you don't have it no I got it back as I can but I am waiting until a long-ass induction seen it's funny cuz the money does not be indicative of the number because it's like if you're Tom Cruise and you're in that position you basically you know you're picking Scripps you can pick what you want to do and like you get first pick of all the best scripts so it's almost like I will watch Tom Cruise movies just cuz it's like Live Die Repeat was it was an interesting original movie but it's like since I know he has that pole to like get a script it's like I have like Tyler yeah I don't hide the true it doesn't look like there's anything there but how there has to be more like it's just like man 16% wow that's not good that's only 15 years old and the great Brendan Fraser is it really make no it's it's like they just took the mummy the name talks Dark Universe is called it like basically just doing every old monster movie that the universal still has the rights to Jekyll and Hyde stop we don't have to spend a ton of money on marketing he's already know what it is I guess yeah I guess so they're going to try them all into the same like dr. Jekyll mr. Hyde was in the mummy and apparently no man dupid boy they had better like make that work because it sounds like I have some doubts I have some doubts what's the biggest conversation up in the sponsor only extra podcast extra podcast with a with a scope that you put up your yo-yo to make sure to watch CCTV up next on the cock block thank you tell much guys for watching and we'll see you later bye bye pawn shops