#491 - We Like Mad Gus

Join Gus Sorola, Geoff Ramsey, and Burnie Burns as they discuss home ownership, dating today, blood incidents, and more on this week's RT Podcast!

Link: https://roosterteeth.com/episode/rooster-teeth-podcast-2018-491

Recorded: 2018-05-08 19:00:00

Runtime: 01:33:25 (5605.75 seconds)

Participants:

Keywords:

[
    "gus sorola"
    "geoff ramsey"
    "burnie burns"
    "home ownership"
    "home buying"
    "dating"
    "blood"
    "junk calls"
    "donald glover"
    "atlanta"
    "dante bosco"
    "ezra cooperstein"
    "burgers"
    "whole foods"
    "shake shack"
    "cruise ship"
    "my dad wrote a porno"
    "online dating"
    "audiobooks"
    "narrative driven content"
    "s"
]

Linkdump:

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]

Audio:

Transcript (in progress):

eHarmony and hams I'm Gus. Jeff didn't miss anything when I had to go to the bathroom and then when we moved and I didn't know where I was at sorry we we we forgot to forward that appreciate it I got something today that would scare the shit out of me but no it wasn't cancer it's the business. I think I got a certified letter from the IRS why that book turns out I owe them some money from last year and so I paid right away and you certified letter they don't call you from like weird blocked numbers after you to go by iTunes gift card to pay them back I might even pay the IRS wrong for years from Indian call center somewhere have you heard some of those like those calls were they go after YouTube who will lead into those and impersonate the person he was imitating is a great old lady voice and ask I was just bullying the shit out of what appeared to be an old lady trying to get her to like sending money she's going to fucking jail and everything else everywhere it's unbelievable how many I get going to give it a week at the IRS calling me my auto warranty is expired will answer every time no because I used to just let it go to voicemail but if I don't get a voicemail and it was trash but I didn't answer and it was like a school thing and I needed they needed my attention so now I feel like I have to answer the phone every time because I got a kid I read a story that's the other day I think they're talking about how he realizes what a big problem and they tell anecdote about the surgeon who's the same situation. He's getting so many junk cars he doesn't answer his phone he said he can't do any more than one time he declined a coccyx thought it was a drunk call and it was calling him to reattach someone's thumb and you missed a call at story treatment for something potentially super time-sensitive is I guess it's fucking awful I wrote what I thought was a fairly funny tweets on for Friday something something about my phone lost between me my phone if I have my phone doesn't tell me when I have a call in about that was me that I missed a call that's what it does it still feel funny Jeff no big deal no big deal dude betrayal watch free alderfly why do you have an Eric tweet or generic statement about mobile phones that's applicable to either platform and I understand why that's a problem for you also don't like autocorrect everywhere it's yeah it's like I'm sure you get all the time for the Xbox one else just anything else on the planet which is I hope you never switch doing. I think he might know I know this motherfucker it's great to be fair is going okay it's just the other day for it's just the memory of a past until it rains what's and then you'll be it'll be a nightmare they won't show up for 4 weeks and you'll be you'll have a missing was the last time I lived it I was there I'm dealing with the thing why should say my ex is dealing with an Griffin still nothing where they discovered some damage in the studio and the Pea we pulled it up and realize that the contractors use untreated wood when they reinstalled the floors and stuff in our studio and it all rotted and we had to replace the whole thing and some of the walls now because the rocket up into the walls. All because the contractors we use use untreated time it seems like a no-brainer right next to each other so you think so you would think so that's why you hire professionals right cuz they was like friends with Lauren so they were professionally vetted mommy like Angie's List or something yeah you bring someone in like if you know you're over your head you know you can do it right you bring someone in you trust that they have the experience they know how to do it right they want to get the job they balance it was like 8 other jobs and then you have to wait your turn even though that wasn't part of the initial conversation that's what it always takes place contractor you can do it. Whoever is the people like I live in like I rent a condo now whoever the people are the do the management of that condo condo flooded on the building Floria I was gone for like a week or two weeks traveling and when I'm not there Millie's not there right so the place it's empty and so I was like 10 days I was gone I got home I picked up Millie we came to the place had a Friday there is totally fine Saturday evening Millie comes in she goes hey I spilled some water or something in my closet and I just did a little bit more than I can clean up I don't know what to do and I was like let me take a look at it okay to sit in there in like her phone away from me when you get to the extra doors and I don't know I get in there and they're standing water in the entire closet standing like I'd like my shoe like I thought might like I thought I was going to Crest like and I go because I don't remember feeling anything but I don't know what it is I don't know there's a leak this isn't you have a human being as I start looking and I find it's like sleeping in from like a hole in the wall when I go damn alright when did you find out which note is this cuz we've been home for a while today when we got home I got like 24 hours ago she goes yeah yeah yeah I was like 24 hours ago I just didn't want to get in trouble I don't like you just did 24 hours more damage to this place apart and so order and you can mark it as like normal or like holy shit I just wanted an apartment number to call well they have a web portal when I want to use technology in the way it's made they tell you to use it I say I'm going to use the appropriate measures so I submit the ticket I mark it as holy shit this is a big deal couple hours go by I go to leave I go to my entryway and I noticed that my my my hardwood floors are like this oh my gosh it's not just in the closet I realize it's gone through her closet and into the entryway and it's fuck up all the hardwood and it's all like bubbling up and I'm like another ticket I have A7 I eat dinner go to bed whatever you like to the front desk and I go hey do you have an emergency why does it say what are you going to use it and be tell me if it's an emergency it's on Monday and she goes yeah well that's a good point and I never came up Ana anyway so they came out the fire alarm above my room but I am Monday morning I I gave him permission to enter I came home Monday night the entire thing was fixed a brand new hardwood new carpet new the walls have been 6 they cut a hole in the ceiling and replace that probably would treated pine pine and it was I never saw anybody I never had to sign anything I never had to talk on the phone with anybody I just went to work with I like in a river and I came home to perfect that shit out they they did come by Sunday morning and put a dryer after I talk to them they came by and put a dryer in her closet fan yeah like I said shut the door don't touch it and so I awesome I mean they fix the floor at the hole in the ceiling fix the season yeah you just said put a hole in the ceiling and the ceiling can get you three weeks off and complain about not being able to afford a house in the twenties which by the way nobody can afford a house this is Jeff is literally the ice the reason why I know you is because Jeff could afford a house in his twenties and I didn't know how that you had it through the yeah but that was a shity loan I mean that was a good Loan in 1999 when I bought the house to 7% and I know cuz the industry like the average is like a 6 in the in the average of 7 but by the way had a home in the 80s in Houston the button and it went to 13 and a half percent on a credit card yeah I was going to move like my junior year in high school because we couldn't stay in the house yeah that's right 11 just a rapper telling a lot of people don't own homes that are not like right now but he probably spend between four and a half 5% would be good for our listeners who may not know you were talking about how it's hard and you don't know I was going to I had one and it's not the beat the VA home loan was a big like really helped me it's just not that hard but just wasn't the big intimidation Factor 4life he was just finding Gathering up the money for a down payment or like to be able to start that process and get into it Joe is also it's an overrated process owning your own home. I don't know that I'm renting if I think the American dream is you have to own your own house yes you would you actually really don't that also I was reading about this awhile back to this the idea of the American dream was manufactured in the 1950s and didn't exist and we're the only country in the world that thinks you need to own your own home it's very uncommon you are Stefan Haflinger everybody in Europe thinks you guys are crazy for being obsessive buying your own homes none of us do that do something and everyone did it are diamond engagement rings they are they big everywhere else to is that just the USB the 30s and 40s long-standing tradition yeah it was manufactured things that they just keep involves to maintain scarcity but it's like they're making those fake diamond the lab meet which is a big revolution attack now they're making that like 3 $30,000 steak that I'll be at $50 taken 10 years but it's it's meatless meat or organism can you request like I want extra marbling in my printed meet here or like if you get like printed chickens like the qualities I go in to meet like as far as the taste in the texture and like what is this it's just like a middle-of-the-road meet or can you like customize a little bit y'all don't know you don't have any of the $50,000 to add my but I really hit the complete limit of my knowledge I'm glad meet and I ran out pretty fast I have watch now at Wes's recommendation and Gus's consistent recommendation I watch the first season of Atlanta and did you like it so happy when you text me the other day you were watching the one where they're supposed to get the piano was fucking amazing okay I wasn't crazy about it but one was so fucking good Atlanta I mean it's always the one of my favorite TV show me a fan of Katt Williams as a serious ass unbelievably fuck the network episode where it was late and they're fucking amazing the Charlie Rose foul things go really well. She's all over the place but it really is all over the place at least bring high-quality consistent basis did you guys see Donald Glover on SNL this weekend like their recent episode ever I think is Adele's been fairly awesome for the last probably eight nine years and I'm I consider myself a huge fan of watch every week any better or worse than three seasons but Dad episodes is very very good it was impressive he didn't get the role even though he's like in the triple threat cuz he can always add a funny joke about that too but like I get the impression that there was some honesty there and so he really liked knock it out the Park good internet guy podcast you can probably see if talking about Donald Glover dad Derrick Comedy because everyone called him Derek because he was on that with the news was Ellie Kemper was on it that did the guys that want Donald Glover the movie Bellamy Bellamy was at the DC Pierson cod in the film film class and they said just about to drop all of this stuff is really really fucking funny yeah he came around I don't want to be downtown right when I say Derrick Comedy brats and Beretta and the ball sack spray people to remember that Prank Wars sketch comedy there's a group called mr. Potato Man iron potato which is probably one of the best men that love having sex with each other and they realize there's no we can have sex with opposites like when having sex with many men have sex with women and cuz it seems he doesn't make people there's not enough people and it's just it's really fun restaurant potatoes take me to SGT about not having nut Bo have gay sex and the Furious about it it's really fucking fun yeah I thought about that but Chris and Jack stuff at all really funny stuff to your buddy Dante Madison gas is perfectly timed villain there's not one oh yeah yeah cool it's a rain was making a puppy video can't wait to see what that's going to be remember when the reaper from what are the piece of ice before we get too far away from O'Neill's or future homeowners if you have any fucking problems with water if you hear water to rest them immediately clear water and you shouldn't be investigated supposed to be. Still investigated and in in if you have a kid just assume that they flooded their closet yes like once a week you think you can do in your house that you can set them in a way that they just start to continually cost you money and water is one of those things and it's surprising when you turn the faucet on and don't turn it off the enormous amount of money it's more expensive easily than electricity to leave that thing running I was literally going down the drain that's the money going with it I learned a very valuable lesson when I moved out of my previous house Jeff okay I decided to do I'm going to hold on to this house and I'm going to rent it and I'm just like start being a landlord I bet that was a fucking Ezra and and then I got $1,800 for water water water free dude I am me what the fuck is going back to LA I raised to the house and I got a leak I was imagining a sinkhole like opening underneath the house as soon as I walk in the front door I hear running water and I'm like okay I can really hear what this is I go and the bathroom the toilet in the first-floor bathroom was running a hundred dollars I luckily Ezra's like guarantor intimidating forgive that bill really really really awesome energy before it was reduce did you not give up yeah she's noticed how every person on Earth knows azra it's a fucking get together we can meet up for Millie's preschool like we still have a different like groups of friends and I'll hang out from 1 million her friends were in preschool together people like once or twice a year now maybe you still at work I was just playing my job to her and she is a law in California that are like running into people outside of normal contact I have to run into you yes it does it bothers me to know that you use my Whole Foods now we should coordinate so we don't run into each other all right this is Bianca the old place that's it all the time you keep on Summer Mike's Pub Baker Street Parking Garage when we were going there I figured it out at all today though cuz we're all it was odd how we all look familiar we can figure it out and then one day return about Cheeseburger Cheeseburger in town right now got to come back to me okay so I learned something about you and I couldn't have learned it through extra cuz we don't have I don't talk to my phone like you did I think I know what you're doing yet favorite hamburger place and as for rewards you get gift cards to my favorite hamburger place in Austin can I mail you like like a free hamburger carts in the problem I T find is it's like it's out of the way right there's only three locations of town and then go to way down south or way up North I never want to go because it's way out of the weight go in the mail me the fucking free hamburger card I got to go but I won't go wrong with you hamburger soggy 364 days to save 7 Bucks yeah he's got you there so no way they they fucking the kind of ruined it for me though cuz I used to have this weekly routine Road go to Sandy's and eat every Monday and I played this game called the $20 game with Lady they take credit cards now so they can't do anymore but I would go and I order my hamburger whatever and then I'll pay the $20 if you would go to everything smaller than 20 no problem go back for a while and yell and scream then to come back and give me the change I never understood why this was a problem for them I never said I was but it was every Monday and every time and that lady hated me and I hated her but I love making her mad it just seem like people who only take cash as a business aren't compared to that in any way whatsoever yeah it's people that are like in Salt Lake I don't take credit cards in the IRS dude cilantro it's like a korean-mexican fusion taco truck he realizes that stupid chicken kimchi burrito. I went there and like they just are taking credit cards like food is like 5 or 6 bucks kind of got my credit card $3 processing fee on credit cards does it cost money to run credit card you know who I am as you go through it and then on the Bus video of the Apple switch the video that you burn you signed it 3% beer and a half percent to run that goes all right so I never went back to Smashburger Smash Burgers like fuck know that butt Shake Shack best burger in Austin Shake Shack is like 2-hour lines everywhere else on Earth it's always a big is a fuck there's a hopdoddy right next door to the full-screen office in Playa Vista the line there is a minute-long cost and it's an hour and a half or so we have this new thing we have set up for it we can interact if you were watching the podcast life is only applicable if your life so you can play where to set up a quick pool where you can vote on which Burger you prefer you been Austin such a fucking specific we were just trying to sort this out dude fucking give me a break we have never used it before you have any idea available in this is what you came up with hardcore betterment sorry for betterment is the largest online financial advisor designed to help customers build wealth plan for retirement and achieve their financial goals in other words its mission is to help customers make the most of their money by taking complex investing strategies and using technology to make them more efficient and by providing access to unlimited personalized advice from license expires investing should not be confusing embetterment is here to change all of that I better make him cops are nowhere to be found no matter who you are or how much money you invest you get everything for one low transparent management fee asked to do seriously make recommendations in their client's best interest they're not incentivize to recommend certain funds and they don't have their self betterment offers personalized advice and a suite of tools to help you know whether you're on track to hit your interests and goals or get to retirement you want I can't stress enough how cool it is at the new series and they act in your best interest so better today Jeff 1-year marriage free investing of all the receipts podcast listeners to get for one year manage free for more information visit betterment.com teeth that's betterment.com teeth thank you very much for sponsoring this episode of podcast where we run apparently City hamburger pulse something about you saying sorry hey good morning what's Sandy's all jumping around about me life your things getting destroyed his local pennies not been around for at least 60 years it's like a piece of Austin history voting If I Lose I'm doing the infinity War spoilers for the weekends under the movies made a billion dollars year beyond beyond you are Beyond spoilers if you're going to go to weekends and not see a thing then really you shouldn't care that other people to talk to my dad knows the whole the whole culture can't put itself on pause because you don't have time to go do something you know I recognize meme of the I don't feel good I really taking off really quickly after the then we came out and I guess it doesn't let you know what it's about but it's definitely the end of the fucking movie yeah like somebody made a version of that with like Lupe Lupe and Garbo man and I didn't understand the reference but it was it about your phone and if I know send one of the four main characters and he's doing snapping with a snap of the background and he's add an image that which was pubg like slowly the signature and fading away by the way I called them basic I got I got a little bit agree for that you didn't like it you don't think it's cute little I think we're going to stream it tomorrow try to get the gauntlet see what happens a lot but it does it does the point something out to me which is it's funny that fortnite does have tons of skins and emotes and dances and everything else that are very referential or in some cases with some of the dances like literally just lifted straight out of other things we like no credit or no acknowledgement until they get to Disney and then they've been Suddenly It's like a partnership and a call out and everything like that it's like really or is that Disney the only who deserves that respect cuz we know that Disney will sue the fucking shit out of you if he tried to do something similar like that also like the Avengers franchise is like they have tons of marketing stuff that they do like the weirdest one to me is like this Geico commercial with the fucking lizard talking to the Avengers like Geico the official Insurance of the Avengers commercial cuz I feel like I don't see commercials on TV shows that I watch DVR stuff the current stuff that I'll DVR going to watch commercials that way North I like watching it live like if I want to wait for starting to see more more what I really like SNL has started doing this at dinner last year NBA TNT is doing at this year or maybe is ABC cuz the class was split between the two where they start to do like like branded commercial with our talent doing this thing for Ocean's a right now where all these these people are trying to steal if you don't know no attend in on ABC and ESPN Jalen Rose is a commentator on there NBA games and they're doing this whole thing in support of oceans 8 where they do diesel commercial than yet where they're trying to steal Jalen Rose's jewelry from them wait for you than they do that but you see more of that I know three guys to be all about that so here we have the results ready for the results from what I'm going to guess the only 1% we're going to run out I made my case I realize that we were going to come for me to think we mentioned the burgers we just have been named We describe the technology sucks this documentary on New York Times website that he was last week about this guy who has lived on a cruise ship for the last 20 years amazing you calling about the happiest man in the world like you aren't there's no way that you're the happiest man in the world and he just another one so that's a really don't want to do that because there are luxury cruise ships that you can buy apartments on and live on that they're like I read this like a year ago there's a cruise ship that just travels around the world and for as cheap as I want to say like eight hundred grand you can get a room in it I mean there's all kinds of like fees to live there to make it way more expensive like if you bought a dollar place if you can afford that you wouldn't go through probably live there because they nickel and dime and everything else at work but it has like stores and like a grocery like a grocery store like this year we're going to go to Iceland and they had that way in the met a nice big 2 bedroom light super Yachts are super like cruise ships that people just rich people live in apartment ship yeah the world residences at Sea yeah there are people who live at Vegas casinos in those massive casinos in this hotels famous actors and actresses used to live in hotels in Hollywood deliver the Beverly Hilton I think the W here downtown also has condos attached to it they have residence is near fucking and I will not be living there a private saltwater swimming pool just only $800,000 LOL I said it's still ridiculously expensive compared to everything else on that ship or if you're buying a house in California for instance $800,000 is a mid-level how to get in California I'll say this cuz I just had this conversation I was just in San Francisco for a week with a kind of funny guys and their lamenting how expensive since it's getting they are getting I overheard a conversation where they were talking about how Maybe like maybe they should just pick up and move to LA cuz it's so much cheaper to buy to live in LA than it is to live in San Cisco all finally afford to buy homes if they just moved to Los Angeles the condo I was sitting there thinking like I'm literally listening to conversation were a bunch of adult people in America are talking about how they're going to move to Los Angeles so they can afford to buy a home cuz where they live is so much more expensive I got I got the piece can you match all the chicken wings I want to be like what the fuck happened as expensive as it is Jesus a I want to say I looked at place and I was I was looking at it and then that was for five apartments on a cruise ship for that one stupid people just came with an indoor pool in the living room before I make it I just did an amortization schedule on a loan of about about 4% for a $700,000 house respect for people who buy houses or haven't bought one in the life that's about 35 hundred bucks a month $3,400 a month should I give you a perspective and then you're owning it as opposed to renting it you know and I think the typical rent in Elizabeth. 1200 is that I can arrange I think I paid like 300 bucks a month I was dating one-bedroom for like. Yeah right yeah but that doesn't include property taxes or insurance insurance those things for garden hoses keeping me out of the condos fucking homeowner fees but I thought I've been the average about $1,000 a month places downtown the condo first question to ask does this community have a homeowners association and is this house haunted really they do have to tell you I want to go look at this house at those questions you can ask that Twista kill their died in the house and report that right I had my old house so I assumed lots of people that died in it going to be probably take that up when you buy an older place in Zilker years ago I don't own the house anymore but it was one of the first how to do the hunting lodge that has been expanded over the years but it has built-in like the it was built in 1932 and it was I love that house is really cool but the fucking realtor pass along this photo to me handsome he's like they had his house it's like it's my house but it's in the fucking Woods which was really weird for Zilker Park now you know that it's the little houses but this is my house in the middle of wood and it's one of those old Square photos cuz it's from like the late 30s or 40 and it's real thick paper and it's my fucking house always wood and then his fuck paid on the front porch just in like one of those little like toddler outfits and it's just this kid is a staring into the camera like this like we had a hold still for a little longer so it's kind of blurry too I like what the fuck did you give me this photo I just like now I'm going to go to sleep and think about this fucking kid running around my house I got some information hear from Patrick about disclosing Jets houses in California seller's must reveal if a death in the home has occurred anytime in the past three years including death by natural causes AIDS cannot be disclosed if a buyer comes out and ask about a death that occurred at anytime even longer 3 years ago to sellers required for Montecristo response in Alaska South Dakota only murder-suicide to speed of clothes if they happen within the past year what about hot will a ghost my suicide one person for that one person solo murder. I guess technically there could be there could be things in your environment that could affect you to the point where you might commit suicide interesting so they wouldn't want to withhold that information are you going to say the same thing about the crazy guy. He asked if you made like a few people like hey what do I do if I think my landlord is breaking into my apartment I wake up and I'll come home and I'll find notes scattered around the someone's handwriting is not my writing it seems like I'm watching any of my personal information yet as well cuz I just don't know what to do and when it comes to like page of a carbon monoxide detector and the guy was like no one I've been suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning from a Blackberry in the Commons one dude said hey I know it sounds like you might be delusional and then people are like to know they probably coming into finding out personal information and it's what you're saying sounds like it could be carbon monoxide poisoning your house tested and he wouldn't come either he said yeah I have carbon monoxide my house and just recommended you get a carbon monoxide completely where they figured that out and it's just like the one thing this guy has the best thing about the internet special you read it is that the everybody can come up with one brilliant comment but then that filters up to the top cuz I'm going to vote it when you go to Reddit you see something the first, it is always a Dude Perfect joke for in the perfect God I hate that book right now and the scariest book I've read in a long time it's probably not as popular carbon oxide I just ruin the fucking Underground yeah yeah right back asleep because we don't have basements they would have to worry about it about radon in your basement I think so I don't know what do the microphone for what is rate of do you have radon yes know what what is a house is also brought to you by Harmony if you've tried your curly trying to date online chances are you run into lazy text messages dead in conversations or random matches that don't turn into dates but have you seen the success stories from eHarmony real people are finding real matches with eHarmony eHarmony take steps that other dating sites don't do in order to find you a more compatible match eHarmony is built to help you find lasting meaningful relationships not a shallow hook-up site it helped over a million people find perfect match eHarmony use a decade of science data and psychological research to send you the right matches stop waiting and start your journey to a satisfying mean for relationship it can be fun to play around online dating apps for when you're ready to fall in love with someone and have a meaningful relationship there's one app that's built to bring you real love and that's eHarmony come see how he Harmony can change your life go to eharmony.com to get started enter code RT Podcast at checkout thank you eHarmony was watching this episode of The Rooster Teeth podcast ice I sent Jeff on a slightly different note I sent Jeff this thing the other day you don't even talk about I found this website that distributes public domain audiobooks for free and anyone can record and submit themselves reading a public domain book for other people to download stuff and it's definitely we should look like this for the hell of it that's fine I can I find something some obscure public domain book and record it and put it up there for people to download what would the book B I actually have a book I'd like to deal with I thought that after you sent me that cuz I used to I went through a thing where I was reading a lot of public domain books on the Gutenberg project and one of my favorite books I've read from there's a book called Teresa or queen the first book in the 1700s about to race like Teresa like Therese rakeen is r a q u i n and it's just about a woman who marries a clerk in France cuz she's pouring it's it's good for her family and then she ends up having an affair and she in the boyfriend killed the husband and then they're played with guilt and the guilt turns them against each other and drives me crazy and I would absolutely do I do an audio recording of a book and you just put it up and send it to them and then they keep bringing up and every time we had like a creative pitch meetings all the podcast that we do our all our personality based talk shows bathroom by the week but there is a genre of podcast we've never done with your narrative podcast and I think you guys should tell me what you watching what you guys doing Heroes and half-wits is you leaving a tail would be fun to watch you guys do that like a for a narrative podcast Welcome to Night Vale is Welcome to Night Vale is 50% garbage 30% good and 20% brilliant like it's a crapshoot when you coming for me but the good stuff is phenomenal in that podcast but you just like you got to get through a lot to get to This brilliant moments Belinda blinked yeah that's about this British dude or UK did he may be Scottish Rite I'm not going because I said he found out that his dad wrote an erotic novel called Belinda blinked so he got two of his friends and he reads a chapter to them each week and then they are each episode and they probably should have got so popular that the dads are the riding mowers and out on their jerseys in the novel and he's like listening he's like his dad sex stories essentially and we're like you'll get deep into it if you if you listen to it you would like. I will later in season 1 into those reports with a like he'll be describing like a desk I love you like I was hoping you would notice that desk and it's just like it's fucking his misery at hearing his dad like proclivities like he loves to refer to breast as I like he says like her her breasts one like a sack of pomegranates like there's like two dads descriptive thought process and hilarious at the girl that says I got two guys and a girl the girl is phenomenally funny and quick-witted and you would love it it's really really amazing all the time to read that going back to her getting conversation was years ago it's someone we know you think I'm going to tell the story completely Anonymous everybody someone we know was dating someone else that we knew and the woman posted on a text conversation anonymously but it was very clear to all of us who they were talking to and it was like they're sexy talk like that sexy talk but like the game the game I don't want to read my friend I just don't want to read that just like yeah forgot about that women dating today is like I mean we all know each other for private jet and everything's kind of lights out there but really like to talk about like women there with and what they're doing you know like locker room talk a little bit but it'll go to like unbelievably intimate details about someone there with however on a regular fucking basis I mean any woman that knows any woman that you saw his knows everything about you in bed pretty much I agree I agree I can point to I want to terrible terrible show that I don't recommend I don't know why I would really like a board on my way so we were on Hulu I found the show called love Island it's like I like the British version of Bachelor in Paradise or Temptation Island where they take a bunch of stupid people from the UK that is gorgeous and they smash him into a room or into Angela I like a like a mansion and they have to pair up and the couple that's together at the end is the winner somehow it didn't really make sense but then like so they have like six boys and six girls and I pair up and then they introduce a new girl in and not get to pick one of the people and then it's just like it's just like a popularity contest of whose fucking who and who wants to stay in and they take a personalities we can bring like to do do do whatever you have the conversation for the girls are like like like I don't know it did they get super descriptive in the guys are just like so cute and you know all her niece give me something that says that's pretty shocking but that's one of the reasons like that incident was one of the reasons why I wanted Ashley and I went exclusive was pretty much the month of Tinder came out but I was always like this. I'm glad I don't have a date in the tender age cuz I'm just like convince know she Carl got his DM. I just love it as well but yeah it's just like I just convinced that the moment you have one of those like intimate personal conversations what time you don't actually know any any sound like I'm going to say I don't have any super private conversation with anyone like me as a Twitter DM or any platform like to talk to someone about something sensitive I'm going to talk to them face-to-face dude I asked for my divorced 5 years ago I made a commitment I was no longer to have any more important personal conversations over text not going to do it just from the security aspect alone put that aside it's just like there's too much open to misinterpretation yes I miss too much lost in that like oh I could have had a, they're like now it's looking like in my head over this way but now they do they think this is like I can see why they would think of it that way it's a fucking nightmare what are the dumbest conversations I arguments I forgot to got into in my life was with Jordan my ex and we were talking about something on text and I got home and she was upset with me watch I'm on my way home right now I'm on my way home right now and she said yeah but you used to. At the end of it I was like what this is apparently something out I don't adhere to that I think sometimes I do sometimes I don't even understand ASL all the time like million are walking on the street the other day over the weekend and some guy outside of a bar goes hey I recognize your face I do I know you and I was like I don't know I guess I just got one of those faces probably I don't know have a good day and you know I wasn't I wasn't at all and I feel like I have that conversation with you all the time I like to Gary and I'm like I don't think I was like I think it's the way you answered yeah like I felt like I was walking around yesterday and I looked for that dude to apologize to him because Millie said I was a dick to him Saturday I could I didn't see him and I did he was going to the fuck are you talking about you know but yeah I unintentionally a dick to people all the time in person let alone text forget about it Chrissy could be interpreted in text when I was when I was dating when I was single for awhile then started dating Ashley then there was this people that would say oh I can't I didn't know you were getting a new relationship I would have gone out with you when you were single the situation of Justin now if you want to sleep with Jeff now is your shot you should make the effort because Jeff is personal just connected with somebody else eventually or the other I got 20 years of failure 21 you are a person who's on camera and who's the public figure harder for you to put yourself out that the possible it's harder and so if you're interested in someone who's more of a public figure I guy you should let them know you should actually people should I let Jeff know that you want to sleep with a barbecue one day that we know you do but it is it is difficult also it is difficult to navigate being your forties and dating is difficult to navigate post a marriage and being a single dad and dating that's difficult to do date for the first time in 12 13 years not having with all the technology and like social media nuts it existed when I met Griffin right there wasn't a dating app or there wasn't Twitter of the people couldn't send me pictures of their dick on Snapchat or whatever lady dick or whatever you know and all that is new and weird and complicated to figure out also I'm at Griffin and we saw some of water on the timer to do is take it off before it was a thing but now I have that whole thing to mix in the end of the deal to wear like I'm at my core distrustful of everybody I think what do you mean I just I just I just I just I don't know but you get you or I mean you were married in the first season party be mean like she's into my old photos from yeah you know I was married I just mean like now we're establishing a bigger commodity and I just like at that Mike or I'm just a little more apprehensive people in general you know like people don't realize and I'm just not complain complain complain but we have a lot of amazing interactions with audience members everyday and community members all the time but a lot of those in with how do I work for you I want a job and you just get to the point where like I expect everybody to ask something of me all the time to the point where after they do it for 10 years you just you expect every initial conversation with a new person to be transactional and it just kind of put you in that friend of mine whether it's going to happen or not I just always kind of in the back of my head that's why I'm always a little slightly leery of new interactions with people I don't know and when you frame that around potential Romanticism I don't know I just I'm still figuring it out I did most of my dating in La. There it did most men getting their Natalie the town where there's a lot of people who work at entertainment and things like that most of the people that I met and regular basis as things would naturally progress in a relationship you know from Friendship to you know we're meeting and then you get like 2 days into it and then you can ask somebody out I had to have conversations like to hear are we like hitting it off or are you excited maybe get a job at Rooster Teeth one of those things I really like you or they go the whole level of conversation of not just being a butt with your girl still living executive where you just can't let go. Whoever you want to be really can't know like I know and now you need to go to jail yeah but it could be a problem if you try to hit on somebody you know it ain't I couldn't so paranoid about hating on people in general like the whole thing is it's stressful to me unless I'm loving I love hearing you talk about. It's the play continue so I don't have to right now I think I might never cut my hair again ever I think I'm just going to go yourself I think I'm good I have I have it on my haircut cuz I had to stay where Griffin cut my hair everyday every hair can I got for 13 years because she's an amazing and everything and of course she can cut hair why wouldn't you go to cut hair right that's why I free awesome Griffin haircuts for 13 years now I don't want to I could probably call in that favor if I wanted to but I don't got the most smartest thing to do you know and so I haven't figured out how to like where I look at it but I don't I get stressed out about having my haircut now so I just don't do the day I was like I really got to get a haircut I don't know where to go I'm confused about a dumb thing like that I just turned off tomorrow Jeff and Jesus a long red hair and a white at Spectrum right there I'm 70 years I keep trying to grow my hair out it's just I give up on it cuz I keep waiting for the moment when my hair is going to go down and it doesn't ever go down it just continues to go up and that's it until I end up wearing hats that's what I'm trying to grow my hair I will only wear a hat when I just I can't I dye my hair is a timer and I won't get it cut so I will wear a hat you won't see like you won't see me now I will wear this very hard day until I get my hair straightened I like I really do I'm jazzed about super great and then my sideburns would have did it but sitting like this all the hair on the top my head only have any Graham at all so I don't say you know what is a great side effect of Being Earnest Jones is Godfather is I just get like fucking awesome pictures of Iris that I just got this I get him like 5 times a day it is really great do you like you got to be thinking about where we got to like eat or so it doesn't do anything for me it's a really does nothing to me it isn't it yeah no screaming ship machines I don't need that I had my one that's the only did you see that weird a story about that school in New Jersey be kept finding someone was sitting on their school track every day and they couldn't figure out who it was track yeah I'm like the track at the high school security camera footage and they found out it was the superintendent of a different School District district High School to sit under track at every morning has been accused of this statement you've been put on leave from the school district can I see question what motivates you what what happened that your shit expect bet your life for a year the superintendent of school district like 5:30 in the morning on the school track question Gustavo have you ever in your life take an eventual shit I don't know what that means like a vengeful shit or like in somebody's front porch or like in the like I parked in your parking for an upper decker like have you ever use 600 cc's as a Revenge tool know have you call I did and I'll come over later but I don't think so I don't know how this morning for dinner prevention no no the memory things are driving crazy as though go ahead I think I like it was my roommate in the Army I don't say his name but he was a fucking Utah I'll tell you that is Mormon I shared room with handle my friend Joey and he got he graduated is going on Tuesday station and so he went to bed and he had to get up at like 5 in the morning to leave and so everything you get in the Army basic training bags and then he went out drinking with his friends or whatever and at like I got to like 2 in the morning to the bathroom and he still wasn't back yet and I fucking hate this dude. How can I get revenge on him so I took a bunch of stuff out of his duffle bag and I pissed in his duffle bag and then I put it back in and then and then I pissed in just a little bit like no not do hats really fucking weird baby because they're kind of like the thing I've never understood is when people and I feel like this the comic store so it's all got so drunk that they started pissing in the corner or to start pissing in the closet like I pissed in backyard party sometime backyard inside a house in the Army stationed at Fort Hood surfing at Port Aransas he a hotel room for tonight you know that you're broke and he put them in a corner in the wall in the corner and the heat we woke up cuz we heard water and he was just pissing on all the walls totally blackout drunk had no idea what he was just pissed all over what type of person who does not like why is it that some people do late drunk and my buddy did that do that I've never done that when I'm drunk should I tell you the same place where I pissed on I will set his name the guys shoes in his two deviled eggs are we had that we share the bathroom with with suitemates right and I had a whole issue with this fucking dude I had to get drunk and he was in the bathroom instead of the circle and pissed and it's cover the hole in the other guy named Joe I heard screaming at like 3 in the morning 4 in the morning when I got up we ran into the room there's a dude on the ground laughing and another guy kicking him and like we turn Alexa and Joe screaming he's like on the ground laughing he doesn't know why I look at Joe at the smell urine just covered in Piss. The dude was asleep the dude came home drunk as piss one night drunk he just stands over Joe and just start pissing on his head while he's asleep wakes up almost the dude how do you just like Waylon take him in the ribs we had to like break it. But I wish I had to take me to Sleep Inn hotels rooms with package many people in college and we had a similar story to whitey you got up in the middle of the night was drunk and piss in the suitcase is percolation fun being closed for the rest of the week Days Inn South Padre Island with all the frogs for the next year we also packed another term for someone who has had to sleep on the floor and I meant remember my buddy Utterback and his last name he we had one pillow for us so we can sleep next to each other and going to fill up the water table for two guys swear to God it was safer for us if we slept this way with my body going this way his bicycle this way we both slept for the pillow fucking face is all wet and wavy pissing in the suitcase in the bathroom I was covered in blood water back got a nosebleed and it was so disgusting that's a cat a cartoon cat wearing like slippers on a who the fuck even packed and it was my buddy Jim is mad about his pills ruined it because I brought the spirit pillow I bled so much yesterday roast remember that story covered in blood I tried to like a Coke from the bar last night and I went to grab a table in the middle of my laptop supposed to be some work I don't want her to grab my diet coke and he had moved his beer in front of my diet coke like it it just enough and knocking into my Coke and something about the angle of the way they hit smash both of the glasses and my glasses and it just shot deer and Diet Coke all down his leg and his lap and glass went everywhere and he was like very Whitely pissed off I'm like oh my God I freaked out I just Dover the glass if I pick it up being away from you I sliced my finger over right here where was just like Nancy just white shit pulling out of it it was and it was and it was like I'm like I'm trying to take care of this dude I'm bleeding everywhere I can see that I need stitches and so I ran to the bar to see if they had like a towel and they give me Band-Aids and I realize I bled all over the bar when I came back and I tried to clean up and it look in the ladies like Windex and everything at all freaking out I realize I'm a trail of blood and the lady vanishes me up we like to disinfect me and we put a bandaid on I go back and I continue cleaning up this Monumental mask and I go back tonight and I get I like another round of paper towels and cleaning it up and drop you guys off and I look in this thing is black with blood again and the Bandit just falls off so we have to do it again and I was 3 Band-Aids in but we got it stopped bleeding and as I said I had to buy I bought the old guy beer and we became friends but but yeah it was like there was just like a trail of blood one from the bar to my chair and then all over the ground and then all over the poor man's leg at his leg and then back to the bar it was hideous you remember one time years ago might have been like maybe before Rooster Teeth you and I went downtown and we were at that real City Bar the library and they have like the bar and it's punch Club type maybe you're right and we were like we got to drink upstairs we walk up to the stairs and the stairs it's like out of the sign they're just covered in blood looks like the elevator doors open and there's just blood running down them and we were like yep that's so let's not go upstairs you not remember that vaguely do fucked up like to be at a bar downtown psycho noticed blood tonight don't go upstairs what would you see it is a shocking color it must be something evolutionary the two blood but when you see actual blood it's kind of freak you out when you see it we saw it in Leicester we went there for something that was some Pub and there was literally a puddle of blood outside of a pub because I'm headed to fight there and it was like yeah I seen that color was his nuts my experience that is San Jose once I got to watch it and I got to watch out uncomfortable just having to navigate an odd social situation is always the Best Buy have freezing is people like to tell Gus what race is the bathroom and I were both walking back from the bathroom and as he's going a guy literally take a pool cue and stops his progress like we got bumped into the pool cue in the guys like hold on a second before you go I got this because like what I'm good. I'm good at this I get a ride every time I'm just like I don't know you talking about now I'm Hispanic and Mexican what are my podcast is also brought to buy Hamm's so check this out 66% of Men start losing their hair by 8:35 that's two out of every three dudes on Earth that's a lot of people if you have this problem check out for him. Com a one-stop-shop for hair loss skin care and sexual Wellness for men can provide medical grade Solutions real doctor's wife for Quality generic equivalent to name-brand prescriptions to keep your hair where it belongs there's no waiting room no awkward doctor visits just save time and your hair like going to Four Hands. 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Com rooster big thanks to hymns for sponsoring this episode of the Steve podcast I wrote this crazy headline the other day that had an even more fucked up the tistic buried inside the article headline was man trying to take selfie dies after being mauled by bear bear I'm assuming it was probably taking selfies not the woods probably at like a zoo or somebody who owns a bear thinks he can take a selfie with it or gets too close to the closure and Bama gets eaten those drive-thru like Animal Safari things neither this dude with his friends coming back from a wedding and they're driving and there's a bear on the side of the road so he gets out and decide you want to take a selfie with a bear and this was in India and the bear mauled him until he hears Nidia connected and there's send it to me no attention to it it's just part of the article attention was India has the highest rate of deaths linked to selfies for the last 2 years between March 2014 and September 2016 with 60% of all death taking place they're 60% of all selfie deaths happen in India is one third of the world China gather is a billion people in India right 27 reported selfie deaths in that. 76 of them occurred in India God say I've been idiot there's a lot of shit idiot that wants to kill you I do think it's just people are taking selfies at that point in time but I feel that stuff out you know you can never see those videos of people on in India and they're like on the roof and they're looking at a whole new world and also to fucking see the box that the leopard outside an apartment building or a fucking not so you cannot predict to control wild animals wild animals just just baffling to me and then who is this the forest ranger said that the person died on the spot he added the Bears being treated for centuries one giving people give a shit about the animal that that happened but like the Bears and the bear hospital and they're there taking care of it I would never ever do that by this really gets when people do stupid crazy stuff it makes it interesting is that it's dangerous right so there is a component we're certain amount of people have to either get hurt or killed voluntarily essentially in order to keep that stuff kind of interesting I don't like stuff where people take selfies with baby dolphins and take them out of the water that I don't I don't like that that that upsets me what are the same time I am not one of those people who puts animals values their lives more than people I think people are the most important and when you know a dog is put down to the tax people like okay yeah but yeah it's like that's kill a person unprovokes essentially yeah that's probably going to go be like again I'm watching TV so I see you commercial can I see a commercial it's like oh you help this animal you can donate $20 a month and you know you can you can make sure these animals survive why don't we donate money to make sure if you will have clean drinking water or why do we do something to help people we don't owe again I appreciate what you're trying to say whatever endangered animal 1.5 million people a year die from diarrhea because of a lack of access to clean water how fucked up is how many people 1.5 million people a year die from a day or something but it was a ridiculous amount of number where is the Northwest Eternal but I hate going over in like jiggle the handle and everything is like give me the invoice I guess I'll take care of it I was like okay and don't be landlord if you're not someone who can be a landlord and also think he paid me for free of my house for a long time off and on for 19 years occasionally occasion for the best deal ever the thing that I'm pissed about is when we put the second floor on we all moved out of the house for a year we went lives in another house for your rent at the house and then at the tail-end we realize that the studio didn't have a bathroom and I thought how much extra would it be to put a bathroom and then we start how much would it be a bathroom in the kitchen and what if we turn the studio into an actual livable space for Gavin and so I wasn't what I said hey it's going to be x amount of money there so many thousands of dollars to do this at the Ritz you almost at the rate you will cut you should pay rent it would take two or three years for me to recoup that money can you assure me that if I split spend x amount of money you'll live in the studio for two or three more years I don't have any interest in renting it out outside of you there's a friend thing I'm not looking to be a landlord and have a stranger in my backyard just type in to you and your British so you need all the help you can get do you really do you think you'd live here for another 2 or 3 years if I spend so many thousands of dollars putting the bathroom and kitchen in Frazee have a little more autonomy and I'm a little space needle Chef course I absolutely and I was like okay great pay the bill did it but all the work for months later he was having a problem that project was the untreated wood that they're dealing with so many years later that was all being redone so we're we're wrapping up soon but I wanted to introduce someone before before we started last week this is the first time sitting back in the control room working on the podcast I'm kind of happy because I'm going to camera it's someone that's a good let us know Eric coordinated to is getting green and black shirt green to black hat it didn't know that you worked at razor which get me free stuff I got a purchase for my PC you know you know the names of product working all week last Monday was my first day I was here to turn table but they don't open till 3 so we went over to the East Side Pies we won't mess up your up this conversation here I need a better co-host can you get this if you don't you'll be 350 podcasts on my birthday coupon we can hang out all day and then I'll just say I went to lunch pencil game yeah I made made the move out here and what Doc's you or any of those big old drive and I'm out here I'm out of doors for a little while then moving into a place here in Austin weather is miserable but it's alright just wait dude we got too many Eric's around here miserable miserable know the weather the weather the humidity okay yeah I'm from Southern California that we don't have any oceans right there so happy to be out for megan64 yeah they gave me a shirt and did you think they've noticed you're gone yet did you tell them I think Derek knows I probably think I'm still doing the podcast Patrick can purpose you knew he would reach out to like a make good kind of like the promise things and I did this with whatever we hire someone who's established somewhere else is your quickly and establish tablet Talent airs companies moving to Austin we can listen some of the character quality of character of Eric moves to Austin we kind of have to give them an offer an offer to come work at risk because we're hate for them to Rolie reach out and tell you that like you know make sure that's if it's okay with you but just like giving you a heads-up I understand and I are actually done that the past I've actually I would hope you would have called please don't do that but then we should have at least 35% more in later Tyler Tyler cuz the only bench press those guys like the video that mega64 put out like 3 weeks ago it might be one of the perfect interviews and you can look it up it's my mission podcast for that week which is why isn't there a White Oaks I know this one was with me and what was Rocko it was really really really cool yeah why do we do that again mega64 has a level of Industry credibility that we fucking Dreama and Mike make videos with Reggie fisame where he just hit us up and he's like him doing Kickstarter you guys do videos for me it's like yeah sure yeah they're dead. That's why I think he knows where that church anymore so do you want this time of year when we went do you want to see did you call catfish you were that's it